Sometimes things have to break to be able to fix and not every relationship is viable.

I wonder if either of my husband's ex wives regrets leaving him. He does great now, great job, lovely house, nice vacations ect...But the truth is he would never have gotten to here if he had stuck with either of them. Just as he woudn't be here if he hadn't married them and made those earlier choices. He had to grow, and go through those relationships and divorces and our current marriage to get to the place where he is now. 

You also have to remember that you are seeing the glossy highlights whenever you see someone else's life on social media. You do not see the string of women he is still having afiars with or the raging fights his current wife has with him about his son. Anything could be happening behind closed doors. 

Focus on getting yourself to a place where you are happy, be glad that in walking away from that situation you learnt that the world doesn't end when you divorce. Remember that you can rebuild and change the course of your future, no matter how scary that those first few steps seem. 

What about the cheating? If you had stayed, the financial stuff and the SD and BM stuff would have resolved - but he would not have quit cheating. Would the financial security be worth staying with a man who was unfaithful? And who is to say that he might have eventually left you for another woman?

The life he is leading now is not necessarily the life you would be living if you had stayed. And your story is not proof that things will always get better.

12 years is a hell of a long time to stay miserable hoping there is a pay-off in the end. And perhaps you leaving him was the catalyst for him to get his act together and start parenting appropriately - he may never have done it if you stayed with him. And for all you know, he has a secret mistress to go along with his perfect social media life, and he treats his current wife like dirt. People don't post their truth on social media, nor do they tell their friends and sisters.

I think you are drawing the wrong lessons here. I'd say that if you are again in a crappy relationship, your picker is broken. Don't keep digging in the manure hoping there is a pony in there.

Wow, that is a lot to have on the backroads of you life. The "what if's" will chain you down..

.I am so sorry.

Remember, all the glitters is NOT gold.

Someone very wise said to me, 'Thumper, pictures are just pictures...everyone smiles in them. They mean nothing".

Hearing that statment from a prosecutor I worked with years ago, really opened my eyes to see things differently. It taught me a lot.

You are comparing your daily life, with all it's ups and downs, to his "highlight reel." By that i mean social media posts and quick updates from his friends and family. When people ask about my family i default to the good things. "Oh, he's doing well, has a new job." I don't bring up that he was jobless for a year after getting fired, or any legal troubles, or their battle with alcohol. That's what people do. You have no idea what his wife goes through on a daily basis. None. Even if they are happy, doesn't mean that life is right for you.

Who cares about them! You left bc you were unhappy. Don't look back and regret that you "perhaps" missed out on some possible luxuries. What's it worth? You're remarried now. That speaks volumes. Now if you have problems with your current DH, let's hear it! But don't torture yourself over a life you left for a reason. I love what Thumper had to say- everyone smiles for pictures. 
 

PS- No spoiled rich kid goes to college or med school without a dime of dad's $ or help. And no spoiled whiny kid just snaps out of a life of selfishness, unless her mother's death (tragic, no matter how rude she was from your experience- coming from someone who can't stand DH's ex- I would NEVER wish her ill in that way) profoundly changed her path in life, which could have happened. 
 

I wouldn't want to follow the footsteps of a deceased ex-wife with a cheating husband on my arm. Her legacy would be understandably untouchable, no matter what happened while she was alive. And he could never be trusted again. Not the kind of partner I want, for all my own problems. 

dont live by this though.  It will only be 'what if's'.   Your ex husband may not have become succesful if you stayed together,, and you would have stayed hanging onto a man that cheated on you ,, and probally would have continued to do so.  No money is worth those feelings  

A cheater is always a cheater.

have led us to today. Maybe it took losing you and/or other negative things in the ex's life for him to make good changes and thrive. Or maybe he just got lucky and is still a big jerk. 

Is it ever worth more heartache to have what seems like a great life? Every person has their skeletons hiding away, maybe his are dusty because he's become a better person, maybe not.

Either way, live your life to the fullest and stop looking at those social media pages. You deserve happiness too...don't let 'what if's" hold you back or weigh you down.

He may just have gotten very good at hiding his cheating ways. 

I divorced my ex husband last year, with the full knowledge that one day soon he will inherit a lot of money from his elderly parents. 

I decided I would rather be ‘broke’ and sane lol. 

I hope that things get better for you. 

 "My first marriage is Proof no matter how bad the situation is it can get better."

Really???

You were miserable in your first marriage.   Your ex husband cheated on you.  Money doesn't remove misery.  Money doesn't heal the the pain or restore the lost of trust that comes from cheating.

The ex SS is probably still a brat.  The only is difference is soon he will be Doctor Brat.

Your post basically speaks to the STUFF that your ex has now.  It doesn't address him as a person, his character, or his values. 

If you had stayed with him you MIGHT have a bunch of pretty stuff now, but you still be saddled with a man you can't trust.  You would still be unhappy.

Your thinking is all messed up. The "lesson" you learned is not right. You need to evaluate what truly matters and make that important in your life. It's not about money and status. Most people post only the positives on social media - you have no idea what goes on behind the closed door. He could beat her for all you know. 

Move your energy into bettering yourself if you want what they have. Go to school. Work harder at the next promotion. Talk to a counsellor. Etc. Stop focusing on others and comparing yourselve to them. It's not healthy. 

I don't know, man. The ex wife dying isn't exactly everything lining up perfectly, you know? Her coming to her senses would be much more ideal. I know you weren't trying to be curt, I just think you're focusing more on comparing your life to his and it's warping your view.

He cheated on you and didn't treat you right. You were unhappy and you left. It sounds to me like you made the right decision. 

We have a close friend who had a similar experience during her first marriage. She and her XH had two beautiful kids.  Both their son and their daughter are incredibly and unusually gorgeous kids.  Her XH pretty much went full focus on his career and had zero interface with his wife and kids. So... she took the kids and left.  As they were going through their divorce her kid's Karate instructor was going through a very contentious divorce.  She became friends with him, they eventually started dating and now have been extremly happily married for about 5 years. They have a 3yo daughter together, they raise her prior relationship kids together, he rarely sees his children by his first wife, and are all incredibly happy and increasingly successful. 

A year after her divorce, her XH got a huge promotion and his career took off.  They had brainstormed his career for years, had lost the plot on their marriage and family which she was not willing to tolerate.  

Her own career advanced as well as did her new DH's business.

Do not lament your X's success.  Focus on yours and making your life what you want it to be.

Good luck.

Seriously?

You regret not staying with a cheater because he know is well off financially? Did I read it rught 

You can't leave because you lack self love and self worth. It sounds like your self esteem needs a big boost. You do not need any of these people in your life regardless of what they've made you believe.