My sk's (13 & 15) have been coming for longer stays with school being out right now. I had SD13 from Friday the 20th through the following Wednesday and SS15 is still here today (Monday). Typically they just come every other weekend but now it's very loose and kids are coming and going pretty much as they please. Yesterday my husband and his ex were talking about bringing SD13 back for the week and whether or not SS15 would continue to stay here or go home to his mom's.

At first.....I was mildly ok with this. I had several days off of work last week, so I had time to really stay on top of them and make sure they were getting their school work done. I felt that at least here with me, they're getting some structure to their day. But I do still have to work--just part time because I cut my hours to be more available for kids right now, but still. My husband is still working FT. It wasn't even a bad time--they did what I asked for the most part. Mostly. LOL. The SK's push back a lot more than my kids do, thus requiring more of my attention. It was just a lot more mental load on my plate. But we were on a schedule--getting school work and chores done early so we could have the rest of the day to do something fun or even just relax. And that schedule was working.

But BM isn't anything like me (which is fine--she doesn't have to be, but it does make my life harder when I want to enforce my household expectations), and I was dreading seeing how much work SD would still have left to do off her list when she came back. 

And that's what got me. I am NOT their mother. Why am I more concerned about their school work than she is? Why are all the hard parts of parenting getting tossed in my lap when I'm not even their mom? Why are they being sent here for me to take care of them when she's off work altogether and has her schedule completely wide open right now?

So she can do it. And if the kids get off track, well, not my circus. I told my husband I don't mind helping out here and there for a couple days if they want to come over for some extra time with him, but I think it's unfair for me to have to parent them Monday thru Friday when their actual parent is completely available to do so. He said I was right and now SS is going home and neither kid is coming back until the weekend. When HE can parent them.

What bugs me a lot is I'm actually a pretty fun and even permissive parent. But I've always taught my kids we have to take care of our responsibilities before the fun stuff. When SK's are here, I have a hard time being that fun parent because it can't just be easy like it is with my own two kids. All the little things just take more effort and then my brain is done, and I eventually burn out and don't feel like being fun anymore. 

Anyways, I'm looking forward to the next five days with just my own kids. 

How's your "distance learning" situation going?

Side note: During quarantine, the kids are only going to our house or hers. She's staying in place. So we're not worried about them bringing any viruses here. She seemed completely unphased by the fact that we're still both working every day and could potentially pick something up and bring it home. So I guess it is what it is. If anyone wants to get judgy about our arrangement, IDK what to tell you other than mind your own and have an awesome day