Moving out and how much do I tell my son before I tell my partner
Forums:
HI planning on moving out as I just had enough my 19 year old son lives with me so it will affect him but I have to plan to move out from my partner and it's going to be very messy so do I tell my son now so he can prepare for it or wait til just before I say something to my partner as its probably a couple of weeks away
If feel really bad for him as he's had it tough in his life but I really can't stay here as the emotional upsets are just constant with a blended family your thoughts please
Your son is an adult, yes,
Your son is an adult, yes, tell him. He doesn't need to know relationship details but he needs to know he's going to be moving and to where. (Unless you don't trust him not to make it worse somehow).
Yes
It might be good to give him head ups if he going with you. He is 19 so he should be in on whatever going on. And can maybe already see your not happy in your circumstance.
I would tell your son now,
I would tell your son now, but ask him to keep it to himself just until you tell your partner and move out. Your son is an adult and deserves to know he is going to be uprooted shortly.
What do you expect your son
What do you expect your son to do when you leave your STBX? Is he going to have to find his own place and move a significant amount of stuff? Or will he be moving in with you to a place nearby and packing a suitcase or two If the former, I think you need to give him some warning so he can make plans - unless, of course, you think your son would spill the beans to STBX before you do.
What do you mean it's going
What do you mean it's going to be very messy when you tell boyfriend? your leaving? What does that mean...he will toss your stuff in the yard OR He will physically hurt you?
IF safety is a concern you don't say zoom to anyone. Pack bags and leave when boyfriend is not there.
Are you on a lease or mortgage together....THAT too is another piece of this puzzle. Do you co-own stuff?? If your on the lease,,you are still required to pay rent.
Your son is an adult. What do YOU think you should tell him and when? You may want to ask for police assistance when you leave....OR sheriff standby.
REMEMBER you never ever gives a heads UP when abuse is in the picture....never ever. BLOCK and delete all social media and contacts associated with him. Hell, get a new phone number.
Good luck
Good pick up Goodluck!
I was going to advise to tell OP's son as he is an adult, but absolutely agree that if domestic violence plays a part then no one, not even one's adult child knows until the very last minute!