Is it normal to call your kids the love of your life

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My husband is obsessed with his kids even when they do something wrong he is the one to apologize. His kids are teenagers and they stay with us full time . He always call them the love of his life he never calls them with their name he only call them my love. I always thought that was weird . i saw one message he sent his daughter telling her she is the sunshine of his life and love of his life. Lol he never tell me that . I feel so weird about it or am i being jealous

I feel so weird about it or

I feel so weird about it or am i being jealous

No, that's weird, especially with them being teenagers. If my dad had EVER told me I was the love of his life...well, I don't know what I would think. Brain tumor?

I am always skeptical of people who never call other people by their names.

Yep. It's weird and it's

Yep. It's weird and it's gross and it's inappropriate. Of course he loves his kids, and if he wants to say they are the best thing that ever happened to him, fine - but "love of my life" is a romantic term.

Are you referring

Are you referring to the "Honey Rule?" Saved my bacon on more than one occasion during my disreputable college years. LOL

Haha! No, not the "Honey Rule

Haha! No, not the "Honey Rule", although I feel it's kind of along the same lines. Always calling somebody by NOT their name, to me, signifies a certain degree of emotional detachment (but they are trying to prove the opposite).

For years, my niece's loser dad always called her by a stupid nickname (that nobody else called her, as it made no sense). Even in everyday conversation to other people, he never used her actual name, to the point that even his friends thought that the nickname was her name. He has finally stopped. I don't know if he realized how stupid he sounded, considering he barely knows her, or what.

Terms of endearment have their places, but overused, they're not endearing.

Ironically, I went

Ironically, I went to school with a girl whose actual name was "Honey." People went out of their way to avoid calling her by her name in public because it seemed to everyone around us that we were inappropriately using a term of endearment and we constantly got weird looks. It was just uncomfortable and I always wondered what her parents had been thinking.

But thank you for getting the reference to the "Honey Rule." I have been surprised many times when people did not. And you are right - it definitely IS a way of distancing others considering that it is meant to prevent you from calling someone the wrong name when you are not in a committed relationship and having way too much fun with too many people!

Your DH's cornbread ain't

Your DH's cornbread ain't done in the miiddle, he is training his teens up to be obnoxious narcissists. Apologising when you are not in the wrong, is something I used to do when married to my emotionally abusive ExH.

"Cornbread ain't

"Cornbread ain't done in the middle." OMG that is awesome! Right up there with "one toy short of a Happy Meal" and "smart as bait."

To mothers our babies are the

To mothers our babies are the loves of our lives. However we don't actually say this to them and a father saying it to a teenage daughter is kind of pathetic.

To mothers our babies are the

To mothers our babies are the loves of our lives. However we don't actually say this to them and a father saying it to a teenage daughter is kind of pathetic.

It's emotional incest and it

It's emotional incest and it's gross!

I mean there's nothing

I mean there's nothing inherently wrong about showing love for your child. However it could be quite inconsiderate if you show that amount of love to your child to the exclusion of everyone else in your life. Others in your life want to know you love them too. I think there are other ways to make your DD feel special than going full retard like that

I'm trying to imagine how my

I'm trying to imagine how my parents would have done it with 4 kids - "You are the 4th of my little loves, the 4th love of my life!"

I get it, people love their kids, and of course, telling them that is FINE, but there are better ways.

Maybe to a baby or toddler -

Maybe to a baby or toddler - to a teen its weird. I guarantee it's not mutual also lol.

No.

No. I think we can all agree with that. Great that you love your kids but kissing their teenage a$$es like that is a really good way to make them into spoiled brats and future disappointed adults who are confused when the rest of the world is not so impressed by them. It is also a wonderful way to alienate the person who actually is supposed to be the "love of your life" - the person you are sleeping with, helps you pay the mortgage and deal with the rest of your adult responsibilities, and who comes to pick you up at the airport.

If I did this

I bet DS would drive me to the ER to check for a stroke.

Oh c'mon, he wouldn't be

Oh c'mon, he wouldn't be flattered that he is "the great love of your life, your heart and soul, the only person in the world who makes your life worth living"?

I mean, seriously, not only is it weird but how much pressure is it on these kids to be the parents' EVERYTHING?

Yes, this - exactly.

Adding Insult to Injury

I think the problem is that many of us know, deep down, where we stand. We have swallowed so many shit sandwiches and the resentment builds. When our partners act out of fear and guilt. When our needs are consistently being placed below the wants of the children. When exes receive our partners' money, time, and attention in the name of "it's for the kids!", but we are being asked to give our time and resources. That's when partners start to have a problem with showing over-the-top affection to the kids, because it's a reminder of where we, the step, stand.

Until this relationship and all it's dysfunction, i never had a problem with it, but i'm starting to. I dated a guy with kids before, for years, and never once had a problem with him showing affection to his 3 young kids. But in that situation, they followed the CO and the ex was not a daily presence. They were disciplined amd respectful. He had 50/50 and we could plan around the kids schedules. In my current situation, it's daily confusion and communication with the ex, the kids are present 90% of the time and there is no set schedule. He has poor boundaries with the kids and ex. I find myself asking what is wrong with me that i am starting to feel jealous of a kid sitting on his lap. I never had any issues like this before, with him or anyone.

Am i, at this stage in my life, becoming a terrible, selfish person? Why have i changed? It has really been eating away at me. All i can think is that it's a symptom of something else, something that's missing in the relationship. Normal people who feel loved and respected don't get jealous of their partners showing love to their kids.

You said it perfectly.

I think I solved that problem as well, though.

I flooded her with so much responsibility and stuff to do that she doesn't have the TIME to waste doing anything for SD. That paired with the fact that there's another baby on the way, she just can't smother SD, there CAN'T be inequity, because I'll bring it up immediately that she isn't doing her part in the house, usually paired with the fact that I don't have to pick up her kid from daycare on a daily basis.

My DH is overly gooey with

My DH is overly gooey with his adult kids too. Calls them both "my love" or even "lover" during phone conversations. Gag. I tell my DD that I love her but she is not "my love." I asked him once if he knew what the word "lover" meant. He blustered around and said "you know what I mean." Yeah, it means you have extremely poor boundaries.

It's gross. I just leave the room, feeling like I need a shower.

Ick!

Wow........Lover??

That is seriously inappropriate. There is no way I could sleep with a man who called his child lover. It's sick. I thought it was revolting when my DH used to call now estranged SD Princess all the time (which of course led her to believe she in fact was a princess and all the adulation that entails", but lover? No way.

It can move into enmeshment

It can move into enmeshment if there aren't proper boundaries.

This can often cause kids to become narcissists, expecting everyone to treat them as if they are the center of the universe or it can cause kids to feel responsible for others feelings, which causes anxiety and co-dependency.

Just when I think that I have

Just when I think that I have heard it all.........

NO it is not normal. JMO of course.

Yes you have a right to be

Yes you have a right to be resentful when he doesn't even say it to you

I don’t ever refer to my kids as the love of my life

don’t get me wrong, they are a big part of me and i wanted them and grateful i had 2 kids when there are people struggling with fertility issues etc.

if you love and care about someone close to you and you are committed etc, i’m the kind of person that just feels you know these things and shouldn’t need to regularly say “you are my sunshine, my honeyboo, love of my life etc”.

the occasional “i miss you or love you” is good enough.

this week at kindergarten my 4 year old just as i was leaving hugged me, kissed me on both cheeks and sai i love you. I said i love you too and mummy will see you later and off we went about our day. I didn’t do a gagworthy spiel of “you are my sunshine my lovely sunshine, you make me happy etc”

my husband certainly never does this but when we are texting one another we usally call one another hubby and wifey or love but not multiple non stop “love” at the end of every sentence we type or speak