Like many, I lurked on here for a while, but I never posted my issues. I just read to see if my feelings were valid and to my surprise they were. I lurked here a lot when I was with my then boyfriend, but then took a break from reading here.

A little background, I am single again because my relationship with my exbf ended 6 months ago. We dated 3 years, he had kids, I had my kids and we eventually had our own kid. I had met him years ago and we dated briefly, but we just didn't connect like we did this time. I don't even know why I'm here since I'm not a stepparent but I was with someone with kids. So maybe that's why, I'm still recovering from all the bs that came with it. 
 

so many red flags I turned a blind eye to. So wishing that I had better judgement, but now I sit here like a stupid fool because of some messed up things he told me this morning. (Which I'll get into further down)

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His kids were good, I liked them but I didn't love them like I loved my own. My kids liked my ex, and he liked them. Ex claims he loved my children and exbf wished I could have loved his kids like he did mine. I just couldn't do it. I feel like he was trying to force that relationship from the time he wanted his daughter to sleep in the bed with us the first time I ever met her, to his Disney dad parenting and just about everything else under the sun you guys have mentioned. Resentment built. Tons of red flags that I ignored. I guess I'm here today because I need support and to vent. When our relationship ended, it was right when our baby was born. He blamed me for most of the breakdown, 

he said It was basically my fault that I pushed him away while I was pregnant. I'll admit I wasn't a ray of sunshine for this pregnancy because that's when a lot of issues arose about finances and his expectations of me being this motherly figure to his kids. To me, my relationship with his 2 kids was good in my mind because we respected each and we were kind to one another. But I wasn't going to be their mom or do her duties. I would get annoyed with certain things they did and I'm sure he would be annoyed with things my kids did. And the heightened horomones didn't help much. 

he made me feel like a bad person because he says he expected me to love his kids and cuddle them. One of his reasons for the breakup was because he said his kids mean the world to him and that he felt I didn't like them. When our baby was born, he was hardly in at the hospital with me. He said he was sick and he didn't want to get the baby sick so he would leave. He barely held him, barley did anything with him. I just knew he was done with me. There was no persuading him to work things out that I could change to try to be the motherly figure to his kids. Nothing. 6 days after the birth I couldn't take being ignored by him anymore, so I left. Glad I did now.

While we were together his kids were hardly around, so who am I to step in and be a someone that I'm not. I had boundaries. 

I figured that at the end of the relationship he would be a good involved parent and would want to be involved in our babys life because he is so enamored with his first 2 bio kids. WRONG! He has barely seen my son in the 6 months he has been on this earth. In fact, he recently told me that he didn't feel anything when he was born. Stab to my heart. So now I resent his kids. 

I could use some kind words right now. I'm tired of feeling like it was totally my fault that my sons father wants nothing to do with him because of "how I acted towards his precious kids?"  How did you all cope? This is too much to handle, I thought I was past the feelings of being hurt but today the wound was opened again.