I’m a stepmom BUT this is Regarding my sisters son Tom. “Tom” is 13 and has a older brother “ Larry” of 16. When Larry was 13 same age as Tom is now he got into some trouble with the law which resulted in a huge fight with his dad and his dad threw Larry out of his house Permanently.  Larry has lived full time with his mom my sister for the last three years and has had zero contact with his dad. My sister and her ex husband had joint Custody of both kids up in till three years ago when this happened. Since her husband refused to have contact with the older son the judge was Disgusted and gave full custody to my sister for both kids. Her ex has Visatation rights with both kids BUT only wants to see Tom. 

Here is my question...Tom who is 13 gets to see his dad about 40 percent of the time. Every time his dad picks him up and drops him off Tom gives him a LONG hug. Recently her ex had to work late and my sister picked Tom up at school instead of his dad. Tom did not know this and had a meltdown in the school parklot because he was not going to see his dad for just one evening visit. Every year the ex husband goes away for a week for work and every year Tom breaks down crying that he won’t see his dad for a week. This year Tom made his dad call him every other day when he was gone.  Now my sister is starting to feel bad as she just went away for a week on vacation and Tom was Thrilled because he got to spend the whole week with his dad and never called her once. If my sister can’t pick Tom up at school he could care less. 

Now do you think Tom is getting like this because of what happened to his brother around the same age he is now? Could he be thinking is dad going to get rid of me too and it’s making him Insecure about his dad? Or is it just normal for boys his age to be like this with dad?