Off topic...would you stay with a man who cheated on you?
I met my "Larry" Two years ago at a 3 day work conference. We immediately hit it off and I found out he lived 30 minutes from me. We started dating, I met his two small children 5 and 7 and everything seemed great. Over the next few months things seemed to be "off". Larry would get text messages late at night and would have to go away for weekend business trips that I could never attend and would have a hard time reaching him by phone. Larry had a answer for everything. He told me there was no one else and I was the only one he was dating. Four months after we started dating he called me to say he was spreading himself to thin and it was affecting his kids. He told me he wanted to take a break from dating and spend more time with his kids. I was like ok and did not hear from him again for over 8 months.
Out of the blue Larry emails me just to say hi and give a update on the kids. We emailed a few times then he asked me out to dinner with the kids. One thing led to another and within a few weeks we were dating again. Things were better this time and Larry did not seem as stressed as he did before. BUT things were still off. This went on for about 6 months intill the "incident". Larry,me and both kids were out to dinner when all of a sudden I noticed the 7 yr old turn WHITE AS A GHOST staring at something behind me. Both Larry and I turned around at the same time to see what would cause this child such horror. It was a woman walking towards us. Larry jumped up as soon as he saw her and ran over to her to cut her off and brought her outside. Both kids sitting a still as statues. I immediately knew what was going on. Larry had another woman. After 20 minutes of nether Larry or the mystery woman coming back I told the kids to stay there. I got up text Larry I was leaving, blocked him and called a cab to bring me home.
A week later a get this huge long email from Larry saying how sorry he is and that yes he was seeing anouther woman but he ended it. He told me all about her and how he felt sorry for her and tried to end before. He now wants a second chance with me. What do you think?
Not just no, but HELL NO. The
Not just no, but HELL NO. The old saying "once a cheater, always a cheater", still rings true as a bell.
You can do better!
I have and let me tell you,
I have and let me tell you, it never ends well for you. You are constantly feeling like he is lying no matter how many times he will tell you the truth. You don't want to live life thinking you are not enough for the person you are dating. Get out before you invest more time and feelings
No.
A pattern of devious and deceptive conduct that he embroiled his children in. As Rags would say: drive off with Larry firmly in your rear view mirror.
It really does make it worse
It really does make it worse that his kids were even brought into the fold. Honestly, do you feel like the kids will ever really respect you?
No. I might stay temporarily
No. I might stay temporarily just because I need to gather up the mental energy to leave, but once someone cheats to me the relationship is done and there's no turning back.
You Need To Cut Larry Loose...He's A Player
Girl, I'm so sorry you had to experience this, and perhaps I am more sorrowful for Larry's kids. Poor things.
How did they get home from the restaurant?
You said it, he's got an answer for everything. He's a hustler and a player. Cut him loose and let him play his games with others. Move away from this very demoralizing situation. You're worth more than what he as to offer.
We all rode together in his car. I was the one who had to grab
a cab. Yes I feel bad for the kids as they NEVER mentioned the other woman and by their reaction when they saw her told me Larry must have told them to never mention either one of us to each other. We would all go away camping for the weekend with the kids. I asked Larry if he took this woman camping with the kids too and he said yes.
How Sad For These Kids, What Is He Teaching Them About
relationships? How awkward and confusing this must be, going camping one week-end with you, then with another. This guy sounds like a classic jerk.
Please move on from this guy. He may give you something Ajax won't take off. An STD...the gift that keeps on giving! Yuck!! I would serioiusly get lab work done also to make sure you are clean and healthy. Send him the bill, and put his contact information on the medical input forms, not yours.
Glad everyone arrived home safely.
Second chance?? Uh that's a
Second chance?? Uh that's a THIRD chance. Sounds like Larry has girls in multiple ports. Tell Larry goodbye once and for all.
Hell no! Block him on text
Hell no! Block him on text social media and email.
He seems to have very well
He seems to have very well rehearsed answers - which unfortunately for you means he is a habitual liar. - I’m sorry, you can do better
No.
No.
No I would not waste my life on a cheater.
No I would not give him a second chance.
For what?
To do it again and prove how stupid I am?
Love that W misquote:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKgPY1adc0A
Nope no way. The big issue here is the fact he put
His young kids in the middle of this mess having to play dumb to you and lie to you which are things he shouldn’t be teaching his kids about. He isn’t a good example of a person or father and dear god do not go breeding with this man. He is unreliable. Cheating is not a mistake, its an intentional thing you do without thinking of the consequences of your actions and how it affects others and can destroy their lives.
some people are so traumatised by cheating they don’t even open up the option of dating for a decade even
NO. I made that mistake and I
NO. I made that mistake and I wasted 3 years of my life with that piece of shit who continued to cheat on me. 2 of those years could have been spent with my now husband which makes it hurt even more (I was still with my ex when I met my husband). Once a cheat, always a cheat; get yourself out of there and be with someone who treats you with the respect you deserve x
This guy isn't "cheating", my
This guy isn't "cheating", my guess is that he's never been exclusive with you. Don't even consider getting back with him. He's not long-term relationship material.
This doesn't scream "cheater"
This doesn't scream "cheater". This screams "con artist". OP, do you have money or influence of any sort? My guess is that dude "spread him self too thin" and nearly got caught, so he had to lay low. Have you done any background on this guy? Either the guy is a cheater who involves his kids (SO GROSS that he is taking them on dates where he's hoping it ups his chances of getting laid after) or he's a con artist who has entangled his kids (which, to me, would explain the horrified look over being told "don't talk about her").
This man in this situation?
This man in this situation? No, absolutely not. He’s included his own children in his subterfuge. I wouldn’t want anybody with that kind of moral compass.
But other circumstances? Maybe. There are lots of couples who have come through infidelity and gone on to have happy marriages. Both people have to be willing to do a lot of work, but it’s possible. I don’t subscribe to the “once a cheater always a cheater” theory.
Seriously just no
GTFO now, while you still can!!!!
If you have any self worth
If you have any self worth this isn't even a question.
Do not pollute your life with this asshole ever again.
This guy has indoctrinated his children into his depravity, parallel relationship lifestyle and serial victimization of women. What man of character and honor would do that not only to multiple women but to their own children?
So without even reading any other responses
I first want to clarify that this would be Larry's third chance as you already gave him two.
And the answer to your question is ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!! When someone doesn't view cheating as wrong this is a flaw in their character and they will never see it as wrong. While even a cheater could possibly have some qualities that are compatible with you they are and always will be a cheater!! Dishonest, putting himself above you who needs it. You will always wonder where Larry is, what he is doing and who he is with. Sounds like he did this very easily I am sure he has done it before.
There could also be others out there he is telling the same thing to. The fact that he disappears, and emails raises a red flag. Who emails these days when they could call or come over?
Please respect yourself and say goodbye to Larry!!!
You already gave him a second
You already gave him a second chance. Definitely no third chances. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Run!
I have stayed with someone
I have stayed with someone who cheated on me, I do not regret that decision even if the relationship is now over. I would also not automatically leave someone who cheated on me, but it would definately be an option I would consider.
If I were you I would not give Larry another chance. Here is why:
1, he as 2 kids so is already a less than optimal match
2. you have not invested that much time and energy into this relationship yet, there is not much to save
3. he makes his kids lie for him at a very young age, and that is not going to go well in the future if it continues
4. being suspicious all the time is not fun, why put yourself through that?
If you are looking for a
If you are looking for a monogamous committed relationship then this is not the guy for you no matter what promises he makes.
It sounds like Larry already had a relationship with the other lady when he met you at the work conference. It's likely been on and off with her too and he runs to you when he there are problems or he gets tired of her. He wants a second chance? To do what? Obviously monogamy is not his thing. If he travels for work and attends regular conferences you can bet he's meeting other women.
If you want to see him then go for it. Just know that your relationship will not be exclusive and please make him wear condoms.
If I stayed with someone who
If I stayed with someone who cheated on me... it would be to torture them, ruin their life, and ride them into the dirt.
Better to just cut your losses and move on to an amazing life while letting them crash and burn.
I might be able to overlook
I might be able to overlook cheating (not in this case though), but what I could not overlook is how he entangled his children in his web of deceit. That's despicable.
Jesus just when I thought it was over....
So the BM called me! How she got my home phone? Maybe older kid or looked me up as my phone number is listed. Anyways...turns out the “other woman” called her and told her what Larry was doing and exposing the kids to. Turns out not only was Larry having the kids lie and keep me and the other woman secret from each other he was having the kids lie to BM about him being in any kind of relationship. They are divorced so don’t know why he would lie about being single. When BM asked the 7 yr old about this she started crying and said it was true. Daddy had two girlfriends. Guess the 7 yr old told how Larry would have the kids help “stage the house” before I or the other woman would visit. Larry would take down pictures of him with this other woman with the kids before I would visit. Larry would hide my belongings before the other woman would visit. This was all done in front of the kids. Larry would then tell the kids not to mention our names to BM or tell her if one of us went away with them for the weekend. Guess Larry has been dating this other woman for two years straight. When I was not over she was. Poor kids. BM went on to tell me she was filing a Restraining order from him and reported him to CPS so I should be careful as he could flip out.
wow! I hope that your mind is
wow! I hope that your mind is made up now.
Whoop! There It Is!
Larry sounds like one of the biggest wastes of fresh air and human flesh.
The kids are the real casaulties here, as "Daddy has two girlfriends" and they help stage the house before each one of you arrives.
Serioulsy, I hope you will get a full blood panel work up done at a local lab, and put his name down as the responsible paying party. You need to make sure he hasn't given you some horrible STD. Please do not ignore this advice. I might feel inclined to send your information from your post to the "other woman." It's a "small world after all."
Wow!
That BM is warning you of her actions against this guy speaks highly of her.
Those poor kids lost the daddy lottery. That is for sure.
I hope BM rides his ass hard, shreds him in court, and gets her kids the hell away from that POS... as much as possible.
Take care of you. Do not lament this guys departure from your life. Relish in his torture at the hands of BM. Help her any way you can.
I would have fun doing it if I were you.
Hell. No.
Hell. No.