Depressed
I always dread this time of the year, the grandmother who raised me passed away in 2005 from lung cancer on new years morning. You would think after all these years I would be able to get a grip on it but it seems the older I get the more I am finding myself reminiscing of moments missed and cut short finding it hard to breath as if I have a ton of bricks on my chest feeling alone and so DAMN angry.
I'm sitting here watching the NYE count down ALONE while DH is working and DD is of course with buddies. They keep mentioning be with the one you love for the first kiss of the year......well hope a margarita counts. Sorry for the pity party everyone just had to vent!
Hope everyone here has a blessed New Year's with many positive memories to come and to cherish. 29 minutes until 2020 here.
- DaniSanti83's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Sorry to hear that.
Sorry to hear that. Connecting a holiday with death is tough. Remember the better times is my best advice but allow yourself to feel sad without feeling guilty. It also may remind you of better days when your grandmother was alive
There are a lot
There are a lot of us who don't enjoy the holidays. We had a thread about it some weeks back. I wish I could remember what it was called so that I could direct you to it. But essentially there were as many reasons for it as there were people posting. You are not alone. The good thing is that it is almost over and life will be back to normal very soon. Just hang in there a little longer. Hugs to you!