BM forget his son
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Long short story SS10 is having really bad behavior i know him since he was 5 and his behavior is getting worse. His mom dumped him with us bc she cant deal with him, now hes living with us full time. He spent with us the last three Thanksgiving and Christmas now i guess is time to go spend Christmas to his mom but BM going to spend Christmas in las vegas. And sometimes she cant come to pick up her son bc no money for gas but she have money to go to las vegas. Am really frustrated bc SS dont listen to me. Hes disrespectful and i really need time for me and my other 2 kids.
You have a DH problem
Your SS is living with you full time and DH is not parenting his kid. It's your DH job to make his kid respect you and listen to you. If he can't do that, then do not be alone with SS. Have DH arrange child care for SS when he's not home.
you are not a punching bag. If you don't do something NOW this will continue, This May not be the relationship for you
DH is trying to excuse him bc
DH is trying to excuse him bc at first they said ss is adhd kid but after a test the result said no adhd. Bm is selfish, first is what she wants and then the boy. Ss yells at dh always, is really exhausting bc is like am the only one thats doing something for ss. Am the one going to psychologist appointment, doc appointment, school meeting, teachers call me 3 days a week bc of ss behavior. Am getting tired
I life in a situation where
I life in a situation where it is my SO SD8 who he has full time. Mom distant and makes the occasional phone call when she doesn't have anything better to do.
it's sad for the kids (my sd and your Ss) because they have both been essentially abondoned by thier mothers.
I don't have any kids, and Sd is my So only child, so we essentially raise her together... at least to a degree. We both have a clear understanding that I am not her mother and I can't and won't force that role.
but if your husband is not doing his job as a parent... you need to disengage. It sounds cold, but it maybe the the only way you can force your DH. To step up. His lack of parenting is propably part of why SS IS acting out... he may live with his father... but may feel abondoned by him to if he is not a strong pressence in his life
Now SS only talks to me when
Now SS only talks to me when he wants something. He likes to steal, lie, being rude, and ss dont care is like his behavior is fine. He can make an scene crying like a baby, yelling and 15 min later hes been goofy and trying to be funny but hiw he can forget what just happened. His mom call once every 2 weeks and she only cone to pick him up every month bc sometimes she said no money for gas, or to late to pick him up, but something bothering me is i want to spend Christmas with my family and i have family coming over and with him here is a battle field bc dh is arguing with him bc of his behavior and i cant enjoy it. We can't even go out to eat bc of him. I cancelled a lot of plans bc of him and i think is unfair for me, bc bm is enjoying her free time traveling to new Orleans, colorado smoking weed. She told dh there's your son i can't deal with him i need a break but what about me.
Therapy?
Hi there, I might suggest getting him involved in some therapy, particularly the kind that works through a medium (example: there is a horse farm near here for troubled teens that seems to do wonders because it's a physical and emotional outlet for them). He may be acting out because he feels ostracized from your family (not saying you're doing it on purpose, he's just trying to figure himself out) and he feels unloved by his Mother. I'm not sure if it's something y'all can take on financially, but even a regular therapist that insurance covers may give him that safe outlet he feels he is missing.
Hope this helps.