It seems to me that some of the teachers at my ODS and SDs school are scared to death of the parents, especially the newer ones. Everything has to be positive about the kids, or at least a positive spin put on it. They're still in elementary school so I think that is necessary to a point, but it gets a little too extreme. 

At an elite(ish) public school in our suburban city.  It's out of our attendance zone.  She got there with good grades, great test scores, and a good level of self-motivation, and we're super proud.  Open house/Meet the teachers was last week. EVERY teacher and administrator we met thanked us for coming and reminded us that parental involvement is the greatest predictor of school success.  About 2400 kids attend DD's school, and maybe ther were 500 parents there?  I would have never imagined it to be so low.

But I think you're right.  I think that at some point, as a society, we stopped parenting our kids.  We're hypervigilant about them, they can't be alone until they're well into their teens, etc., but we're not sctively parenting them.  Most parents aren't teaching (or modelling) about morals and values.  There aren't consequences.  It's "too hard," or something.  And this is the result.

I see it in BM.  She wanted to have babies.  She wants to be identified as the mom.  But she does absolutely nothing to be a parent.  She's even a step above many, in that she does show up, but she doesn't truly engage on anything relating to the actual parenting of these kids.  She's a babysitter, just like the uncertified teachers.

I was a reluctant parent.  I never wanted baaaaaybies.  I saw all the responsibilities that go along with parenting, and I wasn't sure I was up to it.  I'm still not sure some days, but I try.  And try.  And try.  She has consequences of behavior, both good and bad.  She will be a relatively functional adult, by hook or by crook.  

Absentee parenting and entitled kids.

The school district my son was in basically had a 100% tolerance policy for all kinds of crap. One of the times I was at the HS to pick up my son I watched more than one child walk past an adult, during the middle of a class period, and ignore the adult when asked to see a hall pass or what they were doing. A teacher came over to talk to me about the situation since she could see me starting to boil. I was going to stop the next entitled brat and give him or her my entire mind, not just a piece of it. The teacher is the one that explained that the district is so scared of being sued for "abuse" that their hands are tied. And the parents don't want to hear anything, they are too busy.

If you are too busy to be a parent, do not have children!

Start with "Generation Me" and then move on to "The Narcissism Epidemic."   She identified and warned about these issues almost a decade ago.

I also know teachers who have hung up their rulers, and retired early, simply because they could not tolerate the newest "crop" of kids - who are unlike anything they'd ever experienced before. 

I agree with your observations.  I'm degreed in Science and worked for years as a EE until I wanted to change careers to be a SE, and during my training sabatical I worked PT as a substitute.  The kids are out of control.

TBH, I think part of the problem is two-income households.  Attachment Disorders fall on a spectrum, and I think babies need bonding time with a parent for the first two years.  Most babies are in daycare starting at 8 weeks.  And both working parents are too exhausted to parent them when they are home.  And they feel guilty, so they spoil the kids.

Parents aren't involved in their kids' lives because of one of two situations. 

Either the kids are coming from 2 income homes where both parents are working.  That means.. the kids are on their own a large amount of time.. parents have little time with their kids and are afraid of or don't want to discipline.. because it's unpleasant.. and they don't feel like fighting with their kids for the small amount of time they are with them.

The kids come from very disfunctional homes where the one or two parents present have serious issues.. addictions etc.. and they aren't equipped to really be raising kids.. they can't even manage their own lives.

Plus.. teachers have to worry about getting in trouble for discipline.  Kids know that they can get parents and teachers in trouble for discipline.  Everyone is overworked.. running scared.. and burnt out.

I have my degree in teaching and after doing my student teaching I opted not to be a teacher. I love teaching, but I could not teach to a standardized test while some punk 3rd grader told me to go "eff myself". That was a fun week.

I think too many people are using screens to “babysit” their kids.  I see it all the time, kid is bored, acting up, instead of being told to sit quietly and wait, or to interact with others around them in a positive way, the parent gives kid a phone with a video on it, a movie in the car, tv on all day at home to keep them constantly happy and entertained.  Then there is also poor modeling, parents ignoring their own children and on top of that the other people around them because their nose is stuck to a screen.

I guess I should be grateful that the schools near us don't seem to be like this (although we're nowhere close to having a kid in high school yet).  We're in a fairly rural midwestern school district where about half the kids qualify for free/reduced price lunch and the schools meet or exceed expectations on the state school report card.  I have friends who teach in both the elementary and middle schools (again, not familiar with the high school yet) and they like their jobs and are for the most part OK with the administration and parents.  I haven't heard that the kids are out of control and when I've been at our local school things seem pretty calm.  For those of you who are having a different experience, is the issue elementary vs. high school, or are the problems across the board?  (Just trying to figure out what we have to look forward to).

It is long past time for the return of the principal and coaches roaming the halls with paddles on their shoulders and applying the board of education to illbehaved kid ass. And for teachers to have a paddle hanging from their desks on display for those in the class to ponder when they are considering baring their own asses.

Heaven forbid I got in trouble at school because there would be hell to pay when I got home if that were the case.  I got swated one time by principal when I was in 5th grade.  It was my day to pick up the art supplies after art class so I had a hall pass to go to my next class 10mins late.  I stopped in the hall to look at a student art project on the wall when the Principal walked up behind me, grabbed me by one shoulder and swated me on the butt.  I turned around and yelled in his face that I hoped he dropped dead then I tossed my hall pass in his face and walked off to my next class.  I told my parents about it when I got home and got in a ton of trouble.  He died of a heart attack a week later.  I felt horrible.  I had to speak with the school counselor several times over the next few weeks.  Intellectually I understood that my yelling at him to drop dead did not kill him but my kid brain struggled with guilt.

When SS was in 8th grade he got a D on a progress report. The progress reports all had "For any grade less than a C call the school to schedule a conference with your child's teaching team."  We scheduled a conference and when we arrived his teaching team gave us the hairy eyeball for calling for the conference. We showed them the progress report with the instruction to set up the conference.  All 5 of the teaching team had never had a parent schedule a converence in response to a grade and though the instruction had been on the progress report forms for years the team didn't know it was there.  They were all impressed that we were there but 4 of the five were all concerned we would discipline SS for his poor grade. It was a most enlightening meeting.  They were not allowed to discipline kids or take direct action to maintain control of their classrooms.   I let them know that if SS pulled any crap that he would have hell to pay at home.  The one male on the team shook our hands after the meeting and thanked us for parenting our kid. They all commented about how well behaved SS was.   His major issue was he was bored and would take novels to class and read them under his desk instead of participlating in class.   When we told them to take the novel away, throw it in the trash and make him stand through each class for the rest of the term you would have thought we told them to shoot him. "Oh, we can't do that. It would embarrass him and it might destroy his joy for reading."  This kid would read blank toilet paper if there was nothing else for him to read.  And we didn't care if he was embarrassed.

I respect what teachers do, but I fear that the overall quality of many in the classroom has faded sadly over the decades.