12 years ago
I wanted to share this story quickly.
12 years ago I was a single parent and met a guy who was a single parent. I had never had such strong feelings for anyone before, his eyes would make me go weak at the knees. He liked me. When our kids were at school we were inseparable. I was very naive and didn’t see the warning signs. I was very very stupid not walking away sooner.
His ex had a long term boyfriend. Their kids knew about it. His ex had told him he wasn’t allowed to let their kids know if he had a girlfriend, as apparently they had also told the kids they were still a family. Which meant the kids half believed in their little universe their parents were also together.
yes effed up I know. Anyway, the consequences of my own idiocy were basically I finished the relationship over an Xmas holiday whilst my kids spent a few weeks at their dads. I spent the entirety of the two weeks crying, in bed and pining for him. Then I had to get my act together for my kids coming back from holiday. Which I did do, but it took a while for my heart to mend.
I wish I had had a site like steptalk to stumble across back then so people could talk some sense into me.
hope you are all okay.
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Hi there
Yes, I wish that also, additionaly I wish that there was a required reading book in school about procreating and how to properly choose a mate along with all the legal and financial repercussions of it not working out.
Wow, theres a lot to your story. It sounds very twisted, but there is some similarity to our stories. Except minus the bios - I have none.
When I first met my now DH, he had 2 daughters that he was extremely proud of, and an amicable if sometimes toxic separation. If I could go back in time to my younger self, that would be a huge red flag. Separated not divorced - first big challenge.
Additionally, while we were growing closer, I asked to come over and he said "no, I dont know if the ex will be there or not and if she is it would get ugly". Wham. Another HUGE red flag. You see they were supposedly separated because she cheated with guys she met on the internet, but she would get the house key from the eldest sneak in and stay the night.
Finaly big red flag that I didnt know about until a few months in, was that they were rarely, but still physically intimate about a month before we started our monogamous relationship. Ewe. The thought of it curdles my stomach as I find Toxic Troll super repulsive and have a tough time imagining them together that recently but oh well. If Id known all this starting out, I doubt we would be together now, but my life has definitely changed for the better, and we are on track to purchasing our home. SD20 is fresh out of psych ward. Toxic Troll lost her job. I attained a wonderful awesome job I love and we prosper.
Im so sorry that you had to go through all that. I tell my SD13 that all us Steppers really want is to be a part of a family that loves us, and its heartbreaking when that doesnt happen.
You have loved and lost and learned and persevered. Good to 'hear' from you!
Aw, hon. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Aw, hon. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
I promise it will get easier as time goes on.
The Girhippo
said the same thing to "establish familial territory." anyone SHE dated received automatic approval and respect whereas I was "that woman. she even suggested that she was BLOOD RELATED to Chef just to make me appear more of an outsider to the skids!!
Had I known then what I know now I would have RUN like the WIND!!!!!