Oldest SS and younger siblings

Upon the arrival of the newest baby, I've noticed my oldest SS1 has become a PITA. If he's not beating up SS2 and setting a horrible example for my 2yr old daughter who is struggling with aggression issues from watching them fight, he likes to pick up the newest baby and it makes baby start crying. I spend enough time juggling a toddler and a 2 yr old, I get so irritated when SS1 picks up his baby brother which makes him start crying. Like f♡《# man!!! I JUST GOT HIM DOWN....

He also likes to "parent" my 2 yr old daughter, and it drives me nuts. She's in a hitting mode and thinks it's play time because of the constant rough housing she sees. I can't say it often or loud enough for the older ones to stop fighting or go outside. And then to watch him chastise my daughter when she hits him.... We've told them time and time again that she hits because she sees them hit and it disrupts all the progress I make with her while they are gone (50/50 week on/off).

In my wildest dreams I could use his help with the dishes and other daily chores as opposed to his "parenting skills". Is there a better/different way to get the message through to him?

Older Skid and new babies

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I think this is an older

I think this is an older sibling trait, my OSS does the same thing to YSS. I've told him a few times when I catch him it's not his place to say those things, and DH does the same. Our BK is too young to be 'parented' still, so I haven't seen this but I'd say the same thing to him if I caught him doing it. 'You're not the parent, it's not your place to make those comments'.

What does your DH say when your OSS does these things? That's what's important. My DH backs me up when I tell OSS off for trying to be the parent. If he didn't, I could tell OSS off until I was blue in the face and it wouldn't make a difference. If your DH is allowing this behaviour that's the real issue.

How old are these kids? Ages

How old are these kids? Ages matter here. And does your DH set limits on them?

Your husband must address these issues

No excuses just address the issues and ensure they do not happen

i remember with my 1st child from newborn to several months old ss17 would open and slam doors till the house vibrated. It instantly woke up the baby. Its hard enough with a colicky baby to have to deal with more work because ss17 is being an inconsiderate prick.

he told hubby the doors made that sound. Hubby told him to open and close it slowly and gently. Oh but poor ss this is such an inconvenience and how friggin unfair boohoo...

this was the only way things got addressed and even then ss over exaggerated to hubby that the baby cries all the time and why. Hubby said babies cry because they’re sick, hungry, tired, thirsty, cold or hot etc. Ss17 asked hubby why are do babies get sick... seriously?? How and why do you think people get sick

IDK...my son went through a

IDK...my son went through a hitting stage at 2, but it certainly wasn't from watching his siblings fight (they were 16 and 14 when he was born and PASed out when he was 6 months old.)

Most 2 year olds hit because they don't have the communications skills. Time outs worked to correct it in my kiddo.

As for the unwanted "parenting of your toddlers, next time tell SS "I have told you before that you are not in charge of these kids. Go wash the dishes. You will be given chores every time you fail to listen."

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