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Is this your fault?

georgina29's picture

Submitted by georgina29 on Thu, 07/25/2019 - 1:31am

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Is this your fault? Your DH complains that he gets no sleep because he decides to move his things out of the bedroom and sleep on the couch after throwing a rage tantrum with you because of the way "You treat his daughter" because you stood up to his daughter and finally told her to stop being rude to you and he could not handle it? Now he blames you that he didn't get any sleep and you ruined his week becaus eof "your" behavior yet it was his idea to move out of the room instead of talking about it with you? The he blames you for you two not speaking when he threw a mantrum and disengaged and moved himself out of the room in the first place?

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Thu, 07/25/2019 - 2:14am

Not your fault.  The behaviour described sounds like typical narcissism ie trying to pass the blame elsewhere. A few years ago when I stood up to my SD and told her some home truths about her behaviour - my DH actually praised me, which was a big surprise. 

Loki's picture

Submitted by Loki on Thu, 07/25/2019 - 3:42am

I would've raised an eyebrow and said "the apple dosen't fall far from the tree" then left for a lovely day out with my pals.

Letti.R's picture

Submitted by Letti.R on Thu, 07/25/2019 - 5:37am

How can you be married to a tantrum throwing two year old?

Seriously, this is someone who takes no responsibility for his own actions and excuses the bad behaviour of his daughter (and himself!), whilst expecting you to tolerate it.
He is lucky to be sleeping on the couch and not in the dog house - but then most dogs wouldn't put up with an ignorant grumpy pants!!

Please don't allow this behaviour to persist without challenge.

ITB2012's picture

Submitted by ITB2012 on Thu, 07/25/2019 - 8:24am

Be very glad those earrings were not a ring. Very, very glad.

I married into stuff like this. I waffle between trying to become zen and live with it, railing against it, and just walking away from it. Since you can easily walk away from it, walk away. It does not get better so the railing against it is just out of frustration, like a caged animal unable to undo a lock and freaking out in their cage, but it doesn't change the fact they are still caged. Becoming zen and living with it takes A LOT of work to step away from the frustration with the situation and I have only just started to have moments of it in seven years. The walking away is scary but it is the fastest and most immediate "fix" to the problem. Trust me. The only thing that would make the zen state a faster thing to get to is a frontal lobotomy.

P.S. And my DH has done something extremely similar to the situation you describe. I even got "when are you going to let me back into the bedroom" when he is the one who left it.

---wait, are you married to this guy or not? I thought the question about earrings was from your SO. Was that about someone else?