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So it all went as expected..

Stressedstepparent17's picture

So birthday celebrations with the family today went as expected. 

From the start SD was attached to OH like a leach. Didn't utter a word to my family, and before anyone says is she shy around strangers- she has known my family for 2 years now. Spent many occasions with them. No excuse. Just rude. And he just laughed at her not talking. I tried to get her to talk but no, nothing. And not leaving dad's side. 

Moaning she was tired, hungry, wanting to go to the park (all of this overheard talking to daddy not anyone else). 

He didn't acknowledge me once. All about her. And her happiness. Whenever she was left with me whilst he smoked in secret it was all where's daddy. She wasn't bothered about my company as much as I wasn't bothered about hers. I should've just told them to piss off for the day and spent it with my family. No point whatsoever them being there. Consumed with each other. No happy birthday. She couldn't leave him alone. Couldn't sit on her own chair. Sat at the dinner table holding hands. 

Got home after the meal and by this point I'd already gone to the loos crying because my Gran told me not to get jealous. She doesn't have a clue. As she was leaving she hugged me and apologised but followed it with "you're lucky". How?!?!? This piece of shit is treating me like crap regularly and I'm lucky?!?!

Told said piece of shit what had upset me today and jeeeeeezzzz. Nah, he wasn't having any of it. How dare I slag him and his precious daughter off. It's up to me to make the effort. I segregated myself apparently. He wasn't apologising for anything. Done nothing wrong. 

So I ended it. Or tried to. Apparently I can't because his daughter is here for the night. I have to wait to talk tomorrow. Can't have a discussion tonight because she's here. In bed. 2 doors and a hallway separating us. Can't break up. And he won't sleep on the sofa because she's here. So yeah.. I have to wait to break up with this useless, selfish, inconsiderate lump. 

Comments

Just J's picture

Why don’t YOU go sleep on the couch? Screw him if he doesn’t want to if his DD is there, she’s not your kid. And you don’t have to discuss anything, especially not at HIS convenience! Tell him it’s iver and that’s it. No way in hell does he get to dictate that too! Good lord, of all the Disney dads in the world, he’s got to be one of the Disney-est! Gross.

thinkthrice's picture

ASAP!!

When they are THIS enmeshed, it doesn't get any better.

ndc's picture

If you've already made up your mind, there's nothing to discuss.  Why do you need to follow his timetable for breaking up?  Just do it.  You can do a lot better than this guy. 

Harry's picture

He has it made with you. You pay the bills, and he gets to play all day with DD.  Give him a 30 day notice to get out.  File with the courts to have him out in 30 days, 

notsobad's picture

I'm sorry but I would create one hell of a fuss. A big full on fight, with his daughter right down the hall. Let her hear you!

If he's so protective of his daughter, he'll pack her up and move her out. Then I spend the rest of the night backing up his stuff for him to pick up when he comes back.

If he demands to stay, then I'd cut off everything, cable, internet. Tell him that his daughter is no longer welcome there, make it uncomfortable for him to be there. Ask a friend or relative to come stay with you for a few days if you are afraid he might do something.

I'm out's picture

Ah I'm sorry. This is the exact type of relationship my ex had with sd. She was also very "shy" (rude) and a few times I could have written this exact blog.

We went to his friends wedding once and I didn't know a soul there, sd was bridesmaid and had to go with the bride and other bridesmaids to get ready but she wouldn't so my ex had to go with her. I was left for 2 hours in a room with loads of people I didn't know, had to go and get myself seated and at the last second as the bride was walking down the aisle he reappeared. The rest of the wedding was all about keeping sd happy by having her on his lap, him dancing with her, being attached to her hip, she wouldnt talk to anyone else and I genuinely don't think they'd have noticed if I hadn't been there.

Had a few weddings/christenings/parties like that because apparently she always had to come to everything. It doesn't get any better, I hope you do manage to leave because I'm pretty sure this is mini wives in the making kinda stuff and your sd sounds like she must be young....many many more years of this, many more events like this. Just get out now and find yourself a man who's available to have an actual relationship.