DH drunk on Kool aid
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After 11 years of marriage and 7 since SD28 was banned from my home, DH has decided to leave me and return to his best friend SD28. With the intention of making their relationship"sweeter". Yes he has missed her so much since she moved away without telling him and since they made up it's constant communication via text and phone. He missed her so much he lost 60lbs. The older SD45 will not have a relationship with DH until SD28 is allowed to return to my home. This will take time to accomplish as DH has to get his finances in order. He will be moving to his family's 100 year old house that was damaged by hurricane Harvey and has not been repaired. Updates to follow thanks for reading.
Ty ML
Always enjoy your comments.
Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear
Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear this, and sorry that you have to be collateral damage in someone else's dysfunction.
Your H is going to find himself old and alone.
They need each other
And SD28 plans to move back to Texas as soon as possible. I'm beyond sick of this sh!t show.
Yes
Julie he will.
I am sorry to hear that your
I am sorry to hear that your DH has been sucked back in to the toxic gravity of his prior relationship spawn.
I hope that this gives you great new opportuntities for a happy drama free life.
Regards,
Rags
Ty Rags
Encouraged by your support.
Dysfunction Junction here
Dysfunction Junction here they come.
Be glad that train doesn’t stop at your house anymore. I hope you go on to have a great big happy life.
Ready
Stop this crazy train. It's time to get off!
Craziness
Cannot describe the enmeshment I have witnessed. Thanks for your support.
Indeed
As SD 45 told me they have always been "thick as thieves" and "best friends". And since her parents divorce, she has been "lost".
Sorry
Sorry to hear you have had to go through all of the B.S. but there IS a light at the end of the tunnel - and it's the train of a good life that you will be on. On the other hand your future Ex may THINK that the light was for him but his ride will be a long, lonely one. When you are out of the picture the game will be over. As you start a new exciting life he will be chasing a dream that will never be truly within his grasp. Breathe in - you have just avoided years of heart-break. Good luck.
Yes
I'm back to the basics at this point. Just keep breathing. Thank you.
Hell, I'm happy for you. This
Hell, I'm happy for you. This all sounds freaking exhausting. It may hurt right now, but once you get that breath of fresh air.... it is going to be F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S!!!
Something wicked
I look forward to your input. Your sense of humor and delightful delivery of your insight has brought a smile to my face.
When I hear stories like this
When I hear stories like this I always wonder if it was enmeshment with the child(ren) that drove the bioparent away. In step families the mini-wife situation generally happens after the divorce to emotionally fill the void of the former spouse, but it's also common in intact families. Often something will be lacking in the marital relationship so the parent will turn to the child to fill that void.
"Daddee is my best fwiend," is something you'd hear a 5 yr old say, not someone who's 45."
Sorry you got caught in the cross fire of their unhealthy family dynamic. Please take care of yourself during this time.
I think what you are saying
I think what you are saying is 100% correct. I thnk that in some marriages that stay together for the "kids" the emesment becomes so deep that It becomes more of a spouse relationship than a child/parent relationship. These parents fill the void with their children. It really is such a sick dynamic. Both child and parent have emotion bonds to each other, that should only be present in an marriage. The intact couple really does not even have a marital bond. The marital bond is between the parent and child. They stay together so that they can keep the marital bond alive with the child. The children see themselves as the parents spouse and come between their own parents. So they get a divorce from the spouse. Neither the parent or the child is willing to give up the emeshed relationship.
The parents meet someone else. The children see that person as the "other man or woman" they still feel the parent belongs only to them. Period. By being with someone new the children feel that the parent is "cheating on them" I think that in many case the parent feels they are also cheating on the child/minispouse.
As you say it is a very unhealth family dynamic.
I am very sorry OP that you have been a victim of this sad, sick family dynamic. Like others have said your H will end up a lonely, sad man, waiting for his mini bride to throw him an occasional crumb. They were very sick before you ever came along.
Take care of yourself.
This is exactly
How it happened . He was in an unhappy marriage and turned to his youngest daughter to fill that emotional void. He knows that I believe their relationship is abnormal and unhealthy. Even SD45 said she has struggled to have a relationship with her dad because she has always felt second best. She also said she's learned to accept it.
Have you seen Meet Joe Black
Have you seen Meet Joe Black with Brad Pitt? I just watched it agian last month.
The dynamic you've discribed reminds me very much of the relationship that the father and younger daughter have and the older daughter is very much left out. The younger daughter can do nothing wrong. The older daughter does everything in her power to make their father notice her, to no avail, but she still loves Daddeee sooo much.
After reading so many stories on here about mini wives, the movie was eye opening and I saw it in a very different light than the first time I watched it.
I'm terribly sorry that your marriage is ending but as others have said, I think you'll be just fine.
I was not surprised
That SD45 said this. I've always known SD28 was his favorite. Guess we all know where we stand. I've not seen the movie you speak of, but I'll be checking it out.
It's a good movie, it's about
It's a good movie, it's about death, but also about the fathers relationship with the people around him. Everyone says what a good man he is, how reliable and a great businessman but all he does is yell and scream at people. The difference in the treatment of his daughters is almost painful. He didn't remarry after their mother died and that's a good thing.
Throw him out
Let him get himself together in a motel. Let him get all his support from his DD not you
Their relationship sounds
Their relationship sounds sick and twisted. It's like he lost 60 lbs pining for a lover. You will be much better off without this arse and his mini wives.
I'm so sorry. Please take care of you! {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Just Creepy
The mini wife thing is ewwwww. Get a good a lawyer, you put 11 years in and put up with a mistress the entire time.
Be glad that you are rid of this sickness, heal grieve then get angry and choose legal counsel wisely.
I agree with the above comments, daddy will be old and alone, and the relationship with SD will be one of servitude and a** kissing her royal a**. Gee I hope him begging and pleading for attention from his mini wife humiliates him to all who know him.
SMILE as he drives away into his lonely depths of hell with his princess.
And he's moving to Houston
And he's moving to Houston into a home that was damaged by Harvey over a year and a half ago. That house is probably a mess with toxic black mold everywhere. (I lived thru Katrina).
May he rot along with that house.
TX2step It's Been A While....
Sorry to tune in and learn your news.
On the otherhand, you are successful and independent, in that you earn your own money. Thank God for that!
His future doesn't sound too bright. I wonder what'll happen once SD finds "someone" and doesn't have time for her dad?
As difficult as I know this must be, I'm more happy for you than sad. Alas, the craziness ends, and your life begins.
Keep us in the loop.