Disengaging seems so hard.
SD21 is my biggest issues and her and SS30 are so alike and get on so well. SD25 is lovely, we get on so so we’ll and I love her like she’s my own!
Sadly the other 2 i would be perfectly happy to never see again, they have both started posting Facebook quotes about how people treat you etc etc and how they have such a wonderful mother etc. So I’ve unfollowed them so I don’t see this stuff but part of me keeps going back and looking.... why do I do this and how do I stop !!!!!???!!!
SS30 works for us and we’ve always got on on, lately his texts have seen one word answers or no reply at all but nothing has changed, in fact we’ve hardly seen him. It makes me wonder why he’s started all this sharing digging quotes etc on Facebook, why? And how do I stop caring??
SD21 well she’s a whole different story, just 8 years old when we hit together and a sweet girl and we got on. However as she grew up she used to ask from money all the time and ask for things just weeks before Christmas or birthday and we had to put a stop to it. But BM would buy these things and tell her we didn’t care enough about her... so understandably she’s grown up thinking we are the bad people... recently she’s been worse!! She had an argument with DH at mother in laws, she was shouting saying he doesn’t care about her and only cares about ‘them’ meaning me and our son who is 8. This really bothered me as she clearly doesn’t think of us as family so it was the final straw which made me realise I need to disengage!
However I’ve told my DH this and he says that’s fine but what happens at family gatherings etc, should he invite her and SS30 to things and I just don’t know how to deal with those situations?!
DH is 50 this year and we are going away with friends for the weekend and I’ve booked a vacation for later in the year as his gift but none of his kids will think to arrange anything they will just complain and moan that he’s had a birthday and they not been invited to anything. The way I see it is they are adults, why can they not make plans? Why can they not invite us over etc?
So sorry for all the rambling on but it’s only you guys that can fully understand. I must disengage but I’m struggling so much, I hate not being liked and things not being smooth as such 
Disengagement is not fun
Disengagement is for you to stay in your right mind. To stop being step on. Stop being used. Stop being the maid, the ATM. Unfortunately your DH does not want to see it that way
I read something today that
I read something today that really struck a cord in me.....
"The emotions of others are not your responsibility"
Let that sink in and really ponder this. You cannot control what others think or feel about you and it is none of your concern. They are adults and if they want to celebrate their fathers 50th than by all means no one is stopping them. You have to learn to love yourself enough to know that your happiness and well being comes 1st.
Es verdad, Siempre!!
Es verdad, Siempre!!
People will dislike you for any number of reasons - and that's OKAY!
Stop following them on FB.
Stop following them on FB. Either block them or delete your own account.
The fact is that not everyone will like you. So what. You can be a saint and there will be people who don't like you. That's life. As long as YOU know that you're a good person, living a good life, doing good things, that's what matters.
As for the skids you don't like and attending family gatherings? Treat them like you would treat a coworker you dislike. Be polite, but distant. Say Hi, respond to questions, and don't get personal. That's what I do.