Hello all..My name is Shannon.I am 39 years old.I have been a full time stepmother for almost 14 years to my husbands two sons 20 and 22.The 20 year old turned out to be really awesome and I'm proud of him he is in the Navy in Italy having the time of his life and we have a wonderful relationship so much so that he calls me every Sunday and we talk for hours.The 22 year old is and has always been a lazy,arrogant,self entitled,searing pain in my ass since the inception of my marriage.From day one he was impossible with the fits,the mean spirit.We couldn't ever enjoy anything as a family not even board games because if he didnt win hed throw a fit.I tried to bond with him and was always pushed away.I was called"stupid and told  that he hated me.He is now 22.Has never had a job ,doesnt want a job because hes "worried he will be stuck in a routine" yes he actually said that the other day.. and hes still living with us with his only accomplishment being at level 10k of whatever video games hes playing.I have tried everything to help him get his act together.Nothing has worked.I am almost 40 and I feel the sting of everything I have given up and continue to give up due to his ominous presence every time I look at his pasty face.He is lazy beyond measure.Seriously lazy He will do nothing unless you are on his ass and quite frankly I do not have it in me any more to live like this.Telling a 22 year old man child to clean up his room and shower.I want to be happy and I deserve to be happy.I want him out of our home.I raised my husbands kids.I even adopted them to protect them from their junkie mother.I want my own life and a child of my own before it's too late,if it's not already.My husband harbors the guilt that their mother left them when they were young (she met a man online and became a drug addict so shes never had contact since she left)so he has always let his son do nothing and coddles him.His grandparents have also coddled him for his entire life.I have actually lived through some real life horrors growing up and I just have no empathy for this kid if hes got a chip on his shoulder and uses the "mommy left"card to avoid doing anything productive.Time to grow thee f-up sir!Hes had a good life,a better life than most and certainly better than mine ever was.I fear that I will be stuck with him living here forever because my husband doesnt have it in him to force him to be accountable and there will come a day when I decide that my happiness is more important than SS laziness and I pack my things and run.I am at that point.My husband said if we kick him out he has no place to go.I say hes 22 it's not our problem.He can go to his grandmas if they will have him but he cant stay here and do nothing any longer and I'm tired of babysitting a manbaby.Anyone else going through this?He has been the sole source of all of our arguments for 14 years.He is destroying our marriage and my well being.I wake up resentful,I go to bed resentful.Every time I see his slobby ass walking around in his wrinkled attire I want to slap his face.I feel as though I served a 14 year sentence for a crime I did not commit and there is no restitution in sight.I am so utterly desperate that I made a vision board and his moving out is on it.I want to pee with the door open.Have unmuffled relations with my husband whenever and wherever I so please in my house.Sleep nude.you know all the things adults do when they dont have someone else living in THEIR house.I had a tallk with my other SS last Sunday about SS laziness and he said it's because "dad doesnt give consequences or make him stick with anything and everyone has always babied him"hes absolutely right.How can I wake my husband up?