All my kids could tie shoes by the time they were 4. Because it was important to me, so I made sure I took the time to teach them (using DH’s dress shoes) as a game. 

My SS could probably have ridden at 3. My DD was 9. Bikes weren’t important to me, not a skill I cared about, and she was nervous, so training wheels stayed on.  DH cared, so that summer he made the time to teach her. Each sibling had to wait until the older one was riding before he taught them. And the next two learned very quickly. It may not be important to the child, so she will vary with passion.

High school. Yes really. Because today’s kids aren’t us, and we do them a disservice trying to make them us. Many kids these days have electronic devices to socialize with. They see their friends all day at school, then FaceTime or YouTube or text or play online games...so they don’t NEED to organize shinny hockey, or bike off in a group. And I find that adults judge them for it , and arrange play dates to force today’s kids into our mold of socialization,  I think it bugs me when I hear people complain that their kids don’t go play because I didn’t. I lived in a rural setting with siblings. I didn’t need “play dates”. And I much preferred to be left alone in my room to read or listen to tunes. I didn’t start socializing until I had my drivers license. My SS was the same. Quite content to be home until 16. My SD was more social. So I wouldn’t worry too much.

and their personality, fine motor skills, and desire. Tying shoes has a big range, riding bikes also has a big range and depends on desire and interest. My kids were all in late middle school or high school before they arranged their own activities although I never scheduled play dates. I simply spoke to the parents and then the kids did what they were doing. I think play dates are ridiculous. Either the kid wants to hang out or they don't. Facilitated play dates are basically the parents forcing interest. We have social kids and not social kids in our family and that is fine. 

I think there's a large variation. My SO'S oldest D is 6. She could tie shoes and ride a 2 wheeler right when she turned 5. His younger D is 3-1/2 and can't do either. 

As for friends, I think that has a lot to do with where you live and who you meet.  SD6 has a couple school friends, but doesn't hang out with them outside of school. There aren't kids her age in our neighborhood. She mostly plays with her sister or entertains herself. Kids in neighborhoods with plenty of other kids probably have true friends they can hang out with without parental involvement much earlier than other kids. 

It depends on the kid and how important those things are to the parents.

What the parents value and teach happens.   What got my SS to start tying his own shoes was an embarrassing event in Kindergarten.  His teacher would not tie shoes for the kids.  SS’s little friend quit doing it for him.  He got frustrated and kicked his shoe across the lunch room and got in trouble.  We got a note home on the incident, SS was not allowed to participate in recess unless his shoes were tied.  My DW hates Velcro shoes so..... he and I sat down side by side on the sofa and tied shoes for an hour or two.   No more problem.

Dont get me started on teaching him to ride his bike.  That was irritating beyond measure.

I had to force him to ride his bike.  Eventually he learned.

But for my SD: 

She learned how to tie shoes at 7 years old. 

She's 8 now and doesn't know how to ride a two weeled bike just because it's not a skill that we practice. We aren't bike riders in this family really. Eventually she'll know. Her cousins learned around 10/11. 

As far as friends they hang with consistantly, SD8 is just now starting to do so with one specific friend. She just had her first sleepover at the girl's house this weekend. Initiating plans without parent scheduling it I think is gonna start soon with my SD8 and her new BFF now that me and BFFs mom talk regularly (as in making plans and begging us to say yes haha). I have been heavily involved in trying to get SD some close friends because it's important to me, so she has started I think a little earlier than most. But I'd say typically it starts around middle school for most kids (like 11/12).

Delete