I posted yesterday about when to cut Skids off.  SD will be19 in less than a month.  I would have no issue paying for the necessities and help her along the way if she was doing what was expected of her.  Here is a little backstory:

1.  DH & I have a joint checking account.  We both work.  I actually make more money than DH.  Both of our paychecks go into one checking account.

1.  We bought SD a brand new car on her 16th bday.  Which was my idea b/c I was worried about her safety.  I wanted to make sure she had a safe and reliable car.  Plus I wanted to know that I wasn't going to have to foot the bill for major repairs for a old used car.  I had 2 rules to follow, 1.  No smoking in my car (the car was titled to me), 2.  No drinking and driving, if you have 1 sip of alochol you call us to pick you up, no questions asked.
   a.  There are several burn holes in the car
   b.  She posted photos of herself online of her behind the wheel with a beer in her hand (I was forwarded these photots by a friend since I'm blocked on all social media)
   c.  We found drugs in plain site on the front seat
Yes I DID THE RESPONSIBLE THING AND TOOK THE CAR AWAY BEFORE SHE KILLED HERSELF OR SOMEONE ELSE. Now she is driving BM's mothers old car.

2.  SD has expressed the fact she has hated me on several occassions, called me a bitch to my face multiple times and has told DH she wishes he would divorce me.

3.  SD has been arrested and we bailed her out of jail.  I was the first one to hug and kiss her and tell her it will be ok and we will work through it.

4.  We've received multiple phone calls from police about her underage drinking and other issues.

5.  On SD's 18th bday she moved out.  She said "I can't live another day under your roof."  She moved in with another family member (not BM either b/c BM had more rules than we did)

6.  When SD moved out she quit going to school.  Prior to alcohol becoming such a priority in her life she was very smart child.  She was so far advanced in school she could have graduated high school her junior year but decided to stay her senior year to take college classes for FREE though the local community college.

7.  Day before graduation we got a call that SD failed all the college courses she was taking.  The deal was college courses were free if you got a passing grade.  Since she failed we had to come up with $800 for her to graduate.  

8.  SD when she was living with us has text DH things like "I am not coming home today, you can't make me.  I don't give a F what you say, go ahead and try to ground me, I don't give a s**t what you think you are going to do me."

9.  SD can't keep a job due to her work ethics or lack of.  She's been fired from 9 jobs, in less than 2 years.  I even got SD 3 of those jobs she was fired from.

10.  DH admits if she wasn't his daughter she wouldn't have a job.  She calls off at least once a week and is late almost every day.  The other day at 11pm she texted him saying "I'm hanging out with my friend and I'm going to be too tired to come to work on time so I'll be late tomorrow."  One day was "My friend wants to take me to breakfast so I'm going to be late today."

Now with that being said, if SD followed the 2 simple rules she would still be driving the car that is titled to ME.  We would still be paying the car payment for her and she would still be on our insurance.  If SD was going to college, I wouldn't have an issue paying her bills.  Even if SD wasn't going to college, b/c I know college isn't for everyone but was able to hold down a normal job I wouldn't have an issue paying her bills.

My issue is the lack of respect shown to her father, her BM and myself, her lack of responsibility, her lack of work ethic.  When will this girl grow up and learn that in life not everything is your way and you have to put your life necessities before your drinking, drugs, tatttoos, piercings etc.

My parents helped me until I moved out of their home in my early 20's.  However I went to college, I had a job.  I was never fired from any jobs.  I helped my parents around the their house (and I still do when they need help).  I respected my parents and had a great relationship with them and I still do.