Adult Stepdaughter Problems...

Forums:

I'm going to try to be short and sweet. Feel free to ask questions. I'm really looking for advice on how to have a good outcome in this situation.

I've been with my SO since I was 18. He is 17 years older than me. I am now 23 and he just turned 41. We have one infant daughter together. He has 3 kids from his previous marriage.

His oldest son is my age and married with one daughter who is almost 2. We have never had a relationship because shortly after me and his dad got together he joined the Army. He has never liked me nor my age. Partly because I think he blames me for his parents split. But we have him at our home any time he is in state and it seems with age he has become more accepting because he knows we are happy and nothing is going to change.

His daughter is 18 and I have been involved with her for several years. She has one daughter who is 1. They have both always lived with us. Her mother started talking to her again after she had her child. She is the root of the problem right now. I'll get into that in a minute.

The youngest son is 12. He doesn't have ties with his biological dad and my SO has raisedone him since he was one. He is a very caring child with a big heart and a big interest in video games lol. We have never had any issue with him.

As far as my SO's relationship with their BM--they got pregnant when he was 17. He married her and they had a daughter years later. They married too young and realized they weren't compatible so they divorced. His ex was in a relationship with someone else and had the youngest boy. A year later my SO and her got back together because of the kids and they stayed married for a couple more years. It started going downhill again. There was cheating on both ends. I was involved with him for a short time while they were together. No sex but emotional cheating until they separated for the 2nd time. She is since happily remarried. My SO and I have been together since.

Okay now finally my problem:

My stepdaughter has always been jealous of her dad's attention towards me. It was in part do to her age and in part because she wanted him to herself. She also blamed me for their divorce and her mother would talk about how her dad stole her money out of their JOINT bank account, etc. A few years go by and at 14 she gets pregnant. Her mother took her to get an abortion. A few more years and at 16 she gets pregnant. This time she keeps the baby. And we have helped her to raise the child. We gave her a room and paid for everything because the father and her split. At the time we were trying to get pregnant and put that on the back burner because we were already going to have our hands full. Last year we started trying again and now we have our baby girl who is a month old.

My stepdaughter has always been disrespectful. She threatened to hit her dad, expects him to buy her cigarettes and alcohol and expects him to give her money when she wants it. She does not have a job and spends her child support and government check on herself. This past month it seems everything has blown up at once. She flipped out one night when my SO went behind my back and bought her alcohol. Her mom came over and we all talked to her. She admitted she was smoking weed around her baby and getting drunk. She blamed her dad saying he drank too much and was mean to her and didnt give her money when she asked. She said she was mad he wanted her to pay her $52 car insuramce for the car we bought her with a loan I took out for $5000. She was admitted somewhere for a few days because she threatened suicide.

Okay so she got released and told us she would do better. She started cleaning up after herself. And agreed to get her drivers license and a job. She failed her test but she was supposed to try again. My SO felt bad and let her use the car a little but not all the time. When he mentioned she should stay off her phone and pay more attention to her baby instead of us doing it all she got mad. She also said he was wanting her to move too fast when he said she should be looking for a job.

She dropped out of school once before whenoon she got pregnant. After the baby we talked her into going back and watched the baby and worked 2nd shift. She dropped out again halfway thru the year. We convinced her to get her GED. Well this has been alot for me. She was very inconsiderate when I was pregnant and working until preeclampsia forced me to stop at 38 weeks. She would gate mad when her dad asked her to be quieter so I could rest and would say things like 'You made me clean the house the whole time I was pregnant why is she so special?'.

So this past weekend, when we were in the nursery the 2 babies share things blew up. She was on the phone on the couch watching tv and I had drunk a few beers. My SO and I were changing our LO's diaper and his grandchild followed us in there. She was climbing and hit her head and I got her up and her dad asked her to come get her. She didn't. So when we finished we all went out and my SD looked at her dad and said 'why can't she be in her room?'.

I flipped and said 'you are not gonna ducking talk sh!t'. We started arguing and her dad said there was only so much we could take. He said she was being disrespectful and she got mad and said 'oh so you're taking her side?' I had come back in and told her to stop being disrespectful and do better and she kept balling her fist up yelling. I told her to come at me and I would beat her down. And I did try to grab her but her dad stopped us from charging and I went back outside. She called her mom to come get her.

So at this point we had her phone. And she forgot she had slipped and given us the password. She is apparently snorting all kinds of pills. She's done xanax, molly, roxies, u name it.

She told her mom all I did was give my baby meds and maybe I should try feeding her. (Her pediatrician said gripe water would help with her tummy problems, that's what I give her & my child gained a pound in a week, so she eats).

She told her friends she hatesaid me and that 'ugly' baby and that she was here first and her dad should leave me or be miserable because he's already lost his 1 sister, 3 kids and 2 grandkids because of me.

So yeah. My SO's sister barely talks to anyone except for holidays. That's how she's been for yeah, long before me.

My SO's oldest son just called the other night the 1st person he has talked to in months was his dad. Their relationship has been rough since teenage years. Again long before me.

My SO's youngest was just at our house when this was happening and has always spent holidays and the summer and most weekends here. Again I fail to see how I am to blame for this? Is it a bad thing they spend so much time together?

His older granddaughter has seen us 2x. We can't see help that they live across the country. What does that have to do with me?

His youngest granddaughter- who we have raised with her mother-has always been around us and if myou SO'sol daughter keeps her away that's her decision not mine.

So thoughys?

Not sure what you need thoughts about.

You don't pose a particular question or issue, so it's difficult to give thoughts out.

In general, my thoughts are this: You got involved with this man when you were barely mature enough to do so at 18, and hardly knew your own mind.

Then, you have had your (first?) child with him when you were approximately 22 years old. He has children who are your age and is a grandfather. His kids are breaking laws and he is helping them do so - drinking, driving without a license, etc. Not to mention the domestic problems that all of you are having living together. It's an absolute disaster.

At the core of this all is your SO who seems to be a waste of flesh, IMO. He hasn't been able to successfully raise and support his first set of kids, and now he's begun again with you??? He's completely irresponsible.

You are working - including during your pregnancy - so obviously you have a solid work ethic. I assume the money you make goes to support the entire household - including his daughter and her kid.

This daughter is disrespectful and combative, and will continue to be that way until the day comes where either you or her nearly kill one another and one of you winds up in jail. I hope for your sake it's not you. She may very well report you to authorities and claim you are abusing your child - so you may lose her, too.

My thoughts are that you should go back to your own family and re-start your life. You are still young enough to get back on track. Sit down and figure out a plan on how to support yourself and your child and get the hell out of there.

Since you are not married to this walking disaster of a man, it makes it much easier to just walk out and leave. Do so ASAP.

Those are my thoughts.

My question is whether I

My question is whether I should continue to try to pursue a relationship with his daughter or not. We have always financially supported her and tried to be there for her emotionally to no avail.

I'm not leaving my SO. I wasn't really expecting my age to be the primary focus of this topic, nor my relationship with him in particular.

He raised and is still raising his kids even when their mother wouldnt. He took them to school, went to all their events and has always been the one they rely on most. Your opinion of him is very strong given I only provided the worst that's happened. He's worked since he was 15, had his own place by the time he was 19 with 2 cars. Many times he worked 12 hour shifts and when he didn't he had 2 jobs to support his family. He was depressed after his 1st divorce and Frank heavilu, then he stopped cold turkey. He doesn't do drugs, he has raised his own grandchild and now enjoys a few beers at nighthe because he is no longer battling his emotions. As far as giving his daughter alcohol, he was naive in thinking if she was home at least she wouldn't do it with frienda. He was wrong. He had alot of guilt and babied her too much because he was scared she would get angry and have nothing to do with him.

As for her driving-we got her that car so she could take her daughter to appointments and get a job. He took it from her for a month and a half and she left because she was angry. He eventually let her take it to the gas station a couple times and to get a friend. He had high hopes she would change and get her license and a job. She didnt. And has no intentions to. We currently have the car.

I fail to see how him not being perfect makes him a bad person. How many people haven't made mistakes with their kids?

OP.... while I am certain

OP.... while I am certain that was difficult to read, unfortunately I 100% agree.

Thank you both for your

Thank you both for your opinions. I respect them but clearly I am not going to leave my SO. We have a very good relationship and ate very in love. All I want to do is figure out a way to better my relationship with my step kids or leave them alone. It doesn't matter if none of them like me I want them to have a relationship with their dad and my daughter-who is their sister.

His daughter is trash. Why

His daughter is trash. Why would you want a relationship with her? Erase her from your life - permanently.

I love her and care about her

I love her and care about her. I want to see her succeed and do right by her child. And I would like her to have a relationship with her dad and baby sister even if she doesn't want one with me.

SD is not her authentic self

SD is not her authentic self therefore you can not make a decision to have a healthy relationship OR not with her. But you can decide not to be sucked into her rabbit hole. A mentally healthy home is what your bio kids deserve.

Your husband and anyone involved with adult sd are NOT doing her any favors. She needs help and as difficult as it is AND feels---dh must stop giving her anything.

I said it earlier and I will say it now...some things are bigger than we are. We, as adults must be mature enough to realize love wont fix this, giving money wont fix this. "SURE SD when you prove to your dad and I that you respect our home, our kids and us--we will consider a healthy relationship with you. It may take a year or two to get healthy...but until then I can not.

But hey OP...you will do what you think is best for you. Please take the time to read about addiction, and unhealthy family dynamics....much of which will look very familiar to you.

best wishes.

I think you might be right ..

If we hadn't looked at her phone we still would be in the dark about her drug use.

I definitely agree until she gets help and starts helping herself it's going to be hard to have any kind of relationship.

Me and my DH have talked about it alot and he thinks she should stay with her mom and get a job and her own place to live with her child.

I'm worried if she doesn't straighten out her mom is going to take her baby because she's already told us she would twice and apparently a few weeks ago she tried to get DSS involved with her. We thoughtook SD was staying with a friend because she was angry about the car, it was because she didn't want her mom to have an address. Again, another thing we learned going thru her phone.

I just want to see her do better. We will always love and support her but I can't see us being involved when it's causing so much stress and turmoil right now.

When DH tried to confront her on the phone SD denied it all and was just made he had her phone. It's so hard to talk to someone that lies about everything. He just told her he will always love her and wishes her the best.

I sincerely believe if her mom would get on board with us that SD would listen, but her mom doesn't believe us and won't even talk to my SO about it. He even sent her screenshots. I can't help but feel she's enabling her and making it worse by talking about us with SD.

Of course it doesn't help that she told her mom I hit her. If I put my hands on her she wouldn't have hesitated to call the cops. Yet again another lie.

I took the time to read about

I took the time to read about unhealthy family dynamics.

One thing in particular struck me.

'Conditional love'. I.e. only loving when something is to be gained from the other person.

My SD does this to my SO all the time-only wanting contact when he's spending money on her.

I fear she picked up the habit from her BM who would only spend time with her during the holidays or when she was in public so that people thoughto she was involved and a God caring mother.

It's all starting to connect.

My SO has had problems with alcohol in the past after his first divorce. He became depressed and drank heavily. It took a long time for him to be able to drink again at all. Now he might have 2 beer a night after work. Though he does drink heavier on the weekends if he doesn't have anything to do. I don't consider this an issue unless it interferes with his life or health.

It is something I am sometimes wary of because of his past problem. But he did go to AA and he talked about what his issue was. He also got help for his depression. This was 15 years ago and he hasn't had a problem with any of it aince.

I fear this too may have impacted SD. BM always says SO is an alcoholic and mean to SD. SD will tell people this too. And qlso tells people things that are contradictory to what is actually happening. I.e. 'Reality shifting'.

It's insane how identifiable these issues are becomibg.

It seems like these were things that were in place long before me.

Thank you for helping me understand and be better informed about what's occurring.

Like It Or Not, SD & The Brokenness Of Her & Her Child

due to SD's actions and choicesm will have a drastic impact on your child/future children. Enviornment is largely what shapes and molds us into who we become.

Please, for the sake of YOUR daughter, think this over. If you only delve in every so slightly to the forums here, you will see that the SD problem rarely defuses and gets better...on the contrary when you keep feeding the monster (ie: giving SD everything she wants, babysitting, and allowing her never to fail or suffer her consequences, you and SO become the enablers.) If SO is buying her alcohol and letting her drive, do you all have the funds to support a DWI arrest/attorney etc?

Is there any reason you and your SO are not married, but are having kids? Just curious, as that seems like a very real concern to have.

To be clear, this was a very broken, dysfunctional situation before you arrived on the scene, and you cannot "fix it" nor should you feel the need to.

Save your sanity. Think about YOUR baby!

SO and I have just invested

SO and I have just invested so much time and energy into SD that it seems like such a waste to let her fail.

I know own it's not my responsibility but she's got a kid that is impacted and watching what she does.

I am thinking about my daughter in that I don't want her sister to be an example in her life with the way she's acting. I told SO I wasn't sure if I wanted to pursue a relationship with SD or not any more because nothing I do matters and it's very stressful. I don't want her around my child and have forbade it.

As far as why me and SO are not married: I believe in a long engagement and at the moment we are saving up money for a home. My father specifically asked me if we could wait a little longer because he feels like he should financially contribute and I told him that was fine. We know we're going to stay togethwr, so what's the harm in waiting to tie the knot just a little longer?

You both can invest all the

You both can invest all the time, money, and support into SD that you want but nothing will change until SD is ready to change. Until that happens you're wasting your time.

It's true. Nothing we do has

It's true. Nothing we do has made even a slight impact in her behavior.

what a mess.

Disengage from the sd completely. She's an adult capable of taking care of her own mess. Hopefully she's not doing drugs in your house otherwise you are putting your own child in danger by having her there. I think your DH needs to wake up and start getting some control in his household. The fact that sd is the way she is , is due to poor choices she has made throughout her life. She's not a child any longer. The path she has chosen is the one SHE chose.

I wish DH would take more

I wish DH would take more control. I feel she emotionally manipulates him and threatens him with not seeing his grandchild way too much. It's hard to disengage when SD is involving babies.

I know that's what I should do and DH agrees he can't give her money and everything going else and see a difference. Obviously all this money was only ever going to drugs.

I sincerely hope she wasn't doing drugs in this house. My DH even flushed his prescription medicines because he was scared she might try to steal them after learning about what she's been doing.

I plan on disengaging. I've decided now that's what's best for my continued happiness and health and regardless of my hopes for SD she should not be around my child the way that she is.

Even more so I hope that DH doesn't give in like he has time agaib. This seems different for him this yime. I think he has 'woken up' and realized not only his fault but that it is not all on him. I told him people make their own decisions no matter their upbringing. You see it too often that kids blame their parents for their own mistakes and I don't want him to feel even more guilt-that's part of the reason he has let her get away with so mucg, it has to stop now.

I think we are at an agreement and we do not want her living here or continuing I her ways in our home

You can't help someone who

You can't help someone who does not want to be helped. Sadly, sometimes they only realize how things really are when they hit the bottom of the barrel. SD's mother seems to have realized this and called DSS. Having them open a case on her could be the best thing that could happen to her under the current circumstances. Maybe the fear of losing her baby will knock some sense into her.

In the meantime, I think you are right to not want her living in your home. She is an adult and needs to learn how to take care of herself. For her own good and the good of her baby, she needs to learn how to stand on her own two feet, unaided.

Maybe if someone other than

Maybe if someone other than us is trying to help her she'll actually listen.

DSS will definitely make things hard on her but at the same time you're right in saying it could be what she needs to straighten out.

Thanks for theverything comment.

Addressing a few key points you made,,

Your sd success has nothing to do with all the "TIME AND EFFORT" you and your boyfriend has put in.

"support"....ahh yes, the a buzz word verbiage that began in the 1980's.. It means nothing but tends to takes on a mind ot it's own with limitless expectations from a very liberal point of view...

Everyone here, mostly with hundreds of years experience as step parent and parents with adult kids,,, if you were to add things up. They have answered your question and valuable advise for free. But it appears you went to the car lot, signed your sales agreement and asked your best friend who knows your broke IF you should buy the $500.00 monthly payment car or not. All along you have the keys in your pocket.

Step talk is open to all persons and it is my belief that Step talks majority population is child protection first, mentally healthy relationships and law abiding citizens. So, often times posters find us harsh when the reality is posters may expect us to 'support' Ludacris, unhealthy, unreasonable actions. My personal observation over the course of many years here.

I wish you the very best moving forward.

I came here for advice from

I came here for advice from others who may be dealing with similar issues.

I didn't come here with my mind already made up on what I should do-that's why I wanted advice...

But thanks for your opinion.

So, my thoughts....

Breeder druggy SD needs to be put on the curb... NOW! CPS needs to be called and this baby taken from her. She is no mother and this kid should not be forced to be with that waste of skin mother.

As for your age difference. It is a bit extreme particularly considering that you began your relationship with your DH when you were 17-ish. My wife and I met when she was 18 and I was 29. We married when she was still 18 and I was 30. She turned 19 a month after we married. She had SS-26 when we met. He was 15mos old. She was never married before we married. I had been divorced for 4 years from my cheating XW. So other than you being the same age as your eldest SD the age difference isn't necessarily a major issue. IMHO of course.

I would advise that rather than fight with your SD-18 that you get her out of your home. A marriage cannot fully evolve and thrive when it is a marraige with three adults in it.

Do you think that she'll

Do you think that she'll change?

Right now it seems hopeless but I hope still..

She views me as if I stepped in and ruined her life but I will not take responsibility for her decisionso or the decisions her mother made to have nothing to do with her.

I just want us to be a happy, healthy family and SD makes it so hard. It's her way or the highway and I wasn't raised that way at all. I'm not sure why she is so disrespectful. She tells people I'm a bitch and I just want SO to myself and that 'ugly' baby and that SO will be miserable as long as he's with me.

I just can't wrap my head around what I have done so wrong that she feels this way.

It shouldn't matter if she

It shouldn't matter if she changes or not. Either way she needs to be out and away from your home, marriage and your young child. Hopefully she does change but change or not she needs to be gone.

Why worry about the feelings of an idiot? Her feelings don't matter and for you to worry about her feelings just gives her power and space in your head.

Quit trying to wrap your head raound anything to do with her. Toxic people are a write off. So write her off.

You are so right!

I can't keep falling for the same routine. She gets mad, pushes, then when one of us snaps she uses the guilt to get us to give in. Especially dad.

We can't do this.

You're just so right.

I wish the best for her. She is not what's best for my child. She's a terrible example. And she doesn't care about either of us.

Thank you. I need to let her go. She is toxic in my life and my childs. My SO wants what's best for her. I know SO and I can flourish when she isn't here to constantly put us down. Thank you so much for this comment.

It really hit me when you said that she was toxic, it really made me think.

I flipped and said 'you are

THIS. no! this should not be happening at all and definately not with children in the house. None of this is healthy at all and your DH, being the oldest and the man of the house should not be allowing any of it in his house. just stop please. sounds like all of you should be alcohol and drug free and get your shit together for the sake of these poor kids. sad story.

get the adult daughter out of your house. bad bad deal. she needs to be in rehab and NOT raising her daughter.

It definitely shouldn't be

It definitely shouldn't be happeninh. It was a low moment for me.

The kids shouldn't have to be involved in this. Especially the babies. That's why the best thing for now is for SD to love with her mom.

SO and I do not use drugs. SO and I drink alcohol. We don't stay drunk everyday nor drink all the time.

SD does drugs but I don't know how often or how much she drinks.

Regardless, I definitely shouldn't drink around SD. Obviously I can't control my temper any more around her. I've tried.

I know you didn't like my original opinion.

But I will repeat the most important part of it one last time:

You. Are. In. Danger. Of. LOSING. Your. Own. Daughter!

Read each word carefully. Then read them again. Do you understand the RISK you are under??

You are in a situation that is a powder keg waiting to go off. You and your child are in the blast line. The fact you are not taking this danger seriously is a sign of immaturity.

All it takes is one phone call and the authorities will show up at your house. Maybe it will be to check on SD's kid, or maybe they will check on every minor living there. Maybe SD or BM will report you will false information just to get rid of you. And you will lose your child in the process.

Another scenario is that you and SD get into it and you wind up in jail. Who will care for your daughter then?

In either of these situations, I don't imagine any employer will take kindly to this sort of thing. So you may wind up out of a job, too.

You also sound like you've put your financial future in jeopardy, too. YOU went out and got a $5K loan so SD could have a car, and she doesn't even have a drivers license? What were you thinking? How long will it take you to pay off that car loan??? You will probably be paying it off longer than you will wind up being in this relationship! You are working and giving your hard-earned money over to these parasites - what is wrong with you? Do you know how much that $5K would be worth if you had INVESTED it for your daughter's education? She could have a full college education paid for! And you blew it on a car for SD.

Go home. Take your child and go back to your own family. It sounds like your Dad is sympathetic, so go back to him and tell him you need his help getting back on your own two feet so that you and your daughter can get away from this sh!tshow. If he was willing to put aside money for a house for you and SO to buy, he surely will help YOU get back on your own two feet.

You can keep coming on here and arguing with all the good advice people have given you but it won't change the facts that this relationship and this situation you are in is dangerous to your child and you, and WILL NOT CHANGE.

I want to address everything

I want to address everything you said, but please don't consider it argumentative. I'm not trying to argue with anyone or their advice. It is all appreciated even if I disagree with some.

SD will no longer live here. I will no longer pursue a relationship or contact with her.

I will NOT let her around my daughter.

Her mom and her can make accusations. We've dealt with them checking before because of that side of the family. The officerest said this was an 'extremely clean home' aND that it was 'obvious' to him that things were being made up.

I'm not worried about government involvement because they have to have proof-and proof only exist when you're doing something wrong. We are NOT.

I was very gullible in thinking if we got her the car for her birthday she would finish school. It was an early graduation gift. She also needed transportation for her and her daughter.

That was my fault. We have the car. I plan on selling it for the remainder of the loan and paying that balance off in full so we have no more ties to it.

My relationship with SO is not in jeapordy. He knows there have been unresolved issues for a long time. It's a shame it had to come to a head for him to wake up.

My parents encourage my relationship with SO. They were specifically worried that SD would try to break us up.

I have no reason to lay down my happiness with SO. He treats me well, we get along great, we are good with finances together and he is willing to compromise when there is a problem. We did not have a kid together for no reason. We waited until we were completely stable and ready to make that commitment. We plan to get married.

Thank you very much for your advice. I expect that things are really going to start looking up now that I am no longer going to be involved withave SD.

My question is whether I

My question is whether I should continue to try to pursue a relationship with his daughter or not?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ No, disengage and remove yourself from this entire toxic dynamic. You may love and care for her but you have to love yourself more. You can always love her at a distance but for your own peace of mind and well being you should stay away. Your H has a lot of baggage when it comes to his children and he has to get to the root of all these problems with his kids. Perhaps therapy to get to the bottom of this would be a great start

Therapy could benefit

Therapy could benefit everyone. He should consider that. I did try to get SD to see a tgerapist.

She missed her appointment and got mad at SO when he reminded her and told him he needed to 'go back to his room'.

It sounds so funny now, but that's really how she thinks.

I am going to completely remove myself from her. I have not tried to communicate with her at all since that night. I considered it until everything else came to the light.

Now I know it will never work. She doesn't want it to.

It does make me feel better knowing I don't have to shoulder the responsibility of it all any more. It really just makes me unhappy to be around ger. She drains me so bad.

Thank you very much for your advice. I will bring up therapy again to SO.

Although I recommended he not try to talk to her mom about her right now. She's very angry and threatens to keep the youngest son away and he shouldn't be invilved.

Maybe in a couple weeks he can mention. That SD go to therapy like she's supposed to be doing to mom.

Two Words:

Tough Love.

Your SD sounds like a freaking monster. Threatening you and yours. Doing drugs, demanding money, not working, not going to school.

It sounds like you and your SO have done what you can the "normal" channels, its time to disengage and let her figure it out herself. That poor baby. Its being born into a life it did not ask for. Very sad.

It's honestly confusing.

Her life isn't perfect but that isn't an excuse to behave this way. It's been going on for years and we were totally blindsided by how bad she's gotten.

We feel stupid for letting her go off in the car and gullible to fall for her lies.

What you say couldn't be more true. We have tried tried tried with her. It seems like everyday was about her.

I'm finished with it.

It's one of those things that takes a long time to set in: you can't change someone or help someone who doesn't want to change or be helped.

Her mother naively believes everything her daughter says.

So now it's her turn to try to help her.

The babies didn't do anything to anyone, yet she is so jealous of her little sister as if she's taking the spotlight off of her.

We thought SD baby daddy was such a waste until we read her texts to him. He begs to see his child and all she says is 'no, when are u giving me child support?' 'If u don't give it to me you're going to jail!'

A few months ago SD got into an argument with her baby daddy's girlfriend. We thought GF provoked it. Come to find out SD was sending berating messages calling her and baby daddy a 'pu##y' over and over and demanding they come to her house and fight.

Now I know not only is she the cause for why her child doesn't have a relationship with her dad, but she also is inviting trouble to our home where kids are always present.

I can't allow that kind of danger and conflict not my home. And I'm definitely not gonna ask for it.

The way I see it-good riddance.

Just my opinion.

SD won't work or go to school. She should be evicted. Her mom will take her in? Good

You bought her car but she has no license and won't pay for the insurance? Easy. Sell it.

She's disrespectful of both you and her dad? Then why is she allowed in? SO can visit her and granddaughter at the park.

The age difference between you and SO is irrelevant to the SD's behavior and is not her business. If you were living in her house then she might be entitled to an opinion. She can be appreciative and respectful or she can GTFO.

Wow this down to the point.

You are 100% right.

I don't know why she is the way she is but that doesn't mean I have to feel sorry for her and enable her any further.

I told SO the other night he has to put his foot down and keep it down with her otherwise she will never change and will continue to emotional ally manipulate him.

I would like to see SO have a healthy relationship with her but I don't know if that's possible.

Thank you for reminding me we deserve to be RESPECTED, especially in our own home.

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Adult Stepdaughter Problems...