EX family photos
DH and I had an interesting interaction this weekend. We were at my MILs house helping her out as she is no longer able to be alone. Her caregiver was off for the weekend so we stepped in to care for her. In MILs house is a picture of DH,BM and two of the three SS’s. This pic is old and has probably been there for 15 years. I had noticed the pic early on in our 7 year relationship but never said a word about it. As time went by, I never paid anymore attention to it.
While with Maial, DH got out some old pics and was taking to MIL about who the people were in the pics and telling stories about family members. DH then started pointing out some people in pics that were hanging on the wall next to the pic of DH & BM. DH suddenly said “I wish she would take that picture down”. I have never heard him even mention the picture before let alone that it bothered him it was on the wall.
I told DH not to stress about it and that it no longer bothered Me. That is a part of his life before me and something that can’t be changed by removing a picture. Plus MIL is not well, she is failing and hasn’t a mean bone in her body. The pic is not hanging because she has loyalty to BM or any other reason like that. I didn’t see any reason to make MIL feel bad and being it up.
I did find it interesting that DH has been buotnered by this pic all these years and never said a word before now.
And although I may be ok with the pic being up now, the sad day my MIL passes, I will take great pleasure in tearing it off the wall and burning it!
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Comments
Good for you, that's very
Good for you, that's very mature. You can't change or erase the past. My MIL also has some pictures of the family with BM in them. Not like I didn't know they were married at one time!
Yeah it's one thing if she is
Yeah it's one thing if she is doing it to spite you, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I probably wouldn't like to see it, but like you said, it's not like you can change the past.
My SO's parents have a family pic hanging on their wall of all their kids/grandkids. BM actually was in the pic originally (even though she hated his family and caused a lot of conflict in their family), but they had her photoshopped out. HA! This cracks me up for some reason. lol. My SO's dad calls her "Pure evil" and says he knew she wasn't right from day 1.
Replace with an upgrade
Maybe you can give her a nice recent framed photo of your DH and his upgraded family?
I'm actually thinking on doing this myself for my SO's mom. We have been spending more time with her lately, and I noticed that she has lots of pictures up but already took down all that had his ex wife, and she doesn't have any recent ones with him or his daughter. This picture will be SO, his daughter, and me (thought about including my kids too, but for now, just me).
Good idea
i actually considered this. Sadly we done have one picture of DH and I will the SS’s. Not one. They took off so fast after our wedding that we didn’t get any pics with them. And since then they have been so nasty to me and DH that I never even think of asking for them to pose for a pic. I could give her a pic of DH and I but don’t know if that would be enough for her To take down the pic since it has the SSs in it
Well...
How about a nice recent photo of just him and his SSs? Surely that would be better than looking at a pic of his ex wife?
My exMil has a wall in the
My exMil has a wall in the living room with photos of all of her kids and their spouses that can be seen as you open the door. There used to be a photo of exH and I up there when we were married as the #1 pic since he's the oldest. Then that was replaced with a photo of him and his second wife, then it was updated to a photo of him alone after that divorce. I used to drop the kids off to her a few times a year so got to see the photo updating and would always get a chuckle that his was constantly changing while his siblings stayed the same.
I haven't been to exMIL's house in years since I moved but no doubt there's been an updated photo of him and his 3rd wife added. She does stay up on things.
My mom
When I was married to my XH we had family photos
taken with the whole family including my DN, SIL and BM DD. The minute we split I told my BM to take that photo down. I didn’t want a reminder of that nightmare. Now I can say, my MILs photo isn’t noticeable the minute you walk in and it is only a 5x7 so not huge. My BM knee I meant it and I have never seen that family photo since.
I have not been inside MIL
I have not been inside MIL house in ages (we are not relatively cordial), but one thing that always bugged me was her having wedding pic of DH and his EW up instead of ours. I felt like I could not ask her to remove it since it is her house and she is a b!tch for not having the sense or class to remove it on her own. I just do not visit her home any more. It's her own fault. People like that are a lost cause and I will not give her the satisfaction of knowing it bothers me.