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How Long Do I Wait

ishouldrun's picture

Submitted by ishouldrun on Thu, 09/27/2018 - 12:05pm

Before making SS's bedroom into a craft room?  SS hasn't been here since June and pretty much no communication with him since that time either.  It is my home that we made an unused, unfinished space into a bedroom for SS.

Comments

Siemprematahari's picture

Submitted by Siemprematahari on Thu, 09/27/2018 - 12:10pm

I don't know too much background on your situation but if he doesn't live with you and you are not expecting him back I would just convert his bedroom. The worse that can happen is that should he return you and H change everything back. Before doing that talk to your H and find out his thoughts and any possible situations that can arise before remodeling the room.

ishouldrun's picture

Submitted by ishouldrun on Thu, 09/27/2018 - 12:24pm

He got mad at his dad in July and has refused to have any contact with us since that time.  I honestly don't see him coming back to spend the night even if he did reestablish contact.  I think I'll broach the subject carefully and see how SO reacts.  I have a feeling that if we dismantle the room SO will feel like it is to final.  Guess I'll wait for the "right" time.

 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Thu, 09/27/2018 - 12:17pm

If you converted it now. What if you got a hide-a-bed or fold up bed or soemthing? Then your DH will feel like you're still okay to his son possibly coming, but in reality you get the space you want!

classyNJ's picture

Submitted by classyNJ on Thu, 09/27/2018 - 12:17pm

PFFT - DBDB had changed the SS's bedrooms into office and viewing room less than a week after SS16 came to live with us.  If he goes to visit he has to sleep on the couch or floor.

But I agree with Siem, if he doesn't plan to return, go ahead and change it.  

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Thu, 09/27/2018 - 1:49pm

No contact in 2-3 months?  I'd be moving my crafting stuff in tomorrow.

 

still learning's picture

Submitted by still learning on Thu, 09/27/2018 - 3:45pm

Do it today!  

StepUltimate's picture

Submitted by StepUltimate on Thu, 09/27/2018 - 2:17pm

... but have grown impatient and the room still isn't clear or clean yet- majority of the STUFF now sorted & donated, but DH let SS slide on any actual cleaning. Read my last blog for details, as DH definitely got upset this weekend when he saw how much of SS's crap I'd gone through. Definitely let your hubby know before you bulldoze, but feel free to fix thst abandoned room up!

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Thu, 09/27/2018 - 4:31pm

Ask your DH how he feels about it. Having gone through the alienation of my SS, it's hard on a parent to lose contact with their child. Even though SM's may be jumping for joy that a skid doesn't come over, he's likely sad about it, so be sensitive to that.

 

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Thu, 09/27/2018 - 4:37pm

DH and I gave it three months.

Still no sign of SD14 returning; in fact, she's asking for all her things she left back.  So the room is in the process of being re-done.  It'll be a guest room, or SD12 can take it over - her choice.  Don't really give a damm anymore.