So, for the first time this YEAR BM1 desides to pick up SS13. 

First she told him on Thursday she was going to get him Friday. Friday, she told him Sunday. Sunday she told him Monday. 

Sunday night, she tried to tell my SO that where she is now living in Drug City-is only 20 minutes from where he is working. SO works an hour and half away from where we live. That would add 40 minutes to his commute and mean he would need to leave with SS at 4:30 in the morning. Obviously he told her no. She’s already $2700 in arrears and hasn’t seen her son 3 times this whole year-all the times she saw him was when her sister asked for him for the weekend and she just so happened to show up. The other time was when we brought him to her sister following the death of his Uncle whom he was close to and she saw him 1 whole day in March despite the fact he was with her sister for 3 days. He then told her if she wanted to see her son, she was responsible for transportation-which should be tricky considering her license is suspended due to her arrearage. But- she has a boyfriend who has a car and when the situation was reversed, I drove SO to pick up and drop off every single weekend when he didn’t have a car. So she contacts me on Monday, trying to get me to meet her somewhere. I tell her no. 

She then texts me on Wednesday telling me she took Thursday off from work because they’re having such a great time and he’s so well behaved. No sh*t he’s well behaved, he’s parented here-you’re welcome. My SO (who is an electrician for a large commercial outfit) was sent to a job an hour and half NORTH. The complete opposite direction of BM. I told her-he is up in Boontown, he may not have service up there. I tell her to text him anyway because this isn’t my horse race. 

She then texts back and forth with my SO Wednesday about him meeting her to get SS13 an hour south of where we live which would put him in the car for 5 hours mid-week. Also no. She then wants to drop him off at our house. I am not home. I am working and won’t be home until 5. The house is locked and SS does not have a key. She then tells SO she’s pissed because she didn’t know I wasn’t going to be home all day. She didn’t ask. In fact, she asked the opposite. She just asked me to keep him. SO calls me, I tell him what she asked me and he tells her he is done playing her games, she’s responsible for brining SS13 home. He tells her we are both home after 5. She then has the audacity to tell him he needs to “do his 50%” when this is the ONLY time this year she has gotten her son for visitation and she’s over 2500 in arrears. She then continues to be nasty. 

She then calls at 9pm. She asks SO if his brother who lives a 1/2 hour closer to her than we do will be available to take SS13 from her at 7:30 in the morning. SO tells her, he doesn’t know, it’s not likely with 0 notice and because SO’s brother is in school and is a single parent himself. SO’s brother doesn’t answer. He tells her “no sorry. You will have to bring him home.” 

We then learn that she has brought SS to her sister’s. Her sister had a family emergency and brought SS13 to BM’s baby daddy #2 (Big Daddy-the man SS thought was his dad the first 3 years of his life, who despises BM1 as much as we do, who is going through a divorce after his wife started abusing drugs and tried to burn down their house with 3 kids ages 7, 5 and 7 months in and who has primary custody of not only his child with BM but his other two as well). I text Big Daddy. He said she’s supposed to pick SS up at 7:30 in the morning. 

The next day (Friday) I get a text from BM at 11:15 AM. Saying she made a child support payment and she has to work at 5am the next day and she’s just trying to figure out transportation. I respond: “I’m working. The time to figure these things out is not the day of. You know that. “ 

She then tells me “she’s not mad but SO doesn’t answer her texts and she’s just trying to figure this out.” 

Translation: she’s trying to get out of brining him home. The 1 thing she’s had to do ALL year. And none of us are giving in. SO also showed me the texts when he told her we would be home for the next few days. He also told her when she could drop him off at home. I would also really like to know what she thinks he has the right “to be mad” about? So it’s literally the same old sh*t. I respond: 

“Just so you know I see SO’s texts. You show up every six months and make last minute demands so don’t try to lie to me BM I’m not stupid. You called at 9:00 at night to ask to make plans with someone else at 7:30 in the morning. Not acceptable. Then you expect all of us to drop whatever we are doing to accommodate you. I work every day and manage my children. It’s not rocket science. You ask “what do you have going on?” “When can we do this”-not call at the last and make demands that everyone fix your mess. I am out at work today. SO or I will be home in the afternoon after 5. Figure the rest out. It’s the least you can do seeing as this is the first time you’ve gotten him this year. I am at work, do not contact me unless there is an emergency with SS13.” 

Around 4, I get a text from Big Daddy. He is supposed to bring SS13 to SO’s brother’s house. I tell him no, there is no need for him to pack up 4 kids to do her bidding, I will come get him. 

I get to Big Daddy’s. He tells me that she didn’t show up when she said she would that morning, he almost had to call into work-a single Dad in the middle of a shit storm had to almost call into work-but was able to make sitter arraignments at the last minute. I give him the $25 he had to pay the sitter for SS that day despite his trying to turn it away. He then tells me that he was told he could bring SS to BM’s friend’s house who SS doesn’t even know. This friend started texting Big Daddy and he told her no, I’m not bringing him to you, neither he nor I nor his father knows who you are so I’ll figure it out myself thanks. 

Now BM gave SS a cell phone. SS texted BM to tell her I was there to get him from Big Daddy. I asked SS for the phone until we can set ground rules. I look at the phone and she is texting asking SS who has him, what’s going on, did you talk to xyz about taking you yet? Then after he tells her I’m there she says “wait what? What’s going on? Why aren’t you answering me?” So then she calls. 

I took the phone outside and answered it. 

I said “hello?” 

She goes: Hello? Hello? What’s going on. 

So I told her. I told her what’s going on is that yet again, I am picking up the slack, that in addition to raising her son, I am doing the little, minute bit of responsibility she had to the boy this entire YEAR and picking him up. Because she can’t even pick him up and drop him off without creating a fiasco. 

She then said “you listen to me” 

And I said no, you listen to this....and hung up. 

She then called big daddy 178 times and sent 47 text messages the remainder of the time I was there. 

When we got home, SO, SS and I set ground rules for the phone. After he went to bed SO looked trough it. 

BM was texting SS asking his Chinese order on Tuesday. So that means at some point, he wasn’t with her. Then Thursday, she’s texting him asking him if he’s “still at Tammy’s” asking him when her sister is picking him up. Telling him he’s going to SO’s brother’s house, then Big Daddy’s then this mystery friend’s (and this ladies and gentleman is why he cannot have this phone 24/7) then she texts him inappropriate jokes, swearing and the whole 9. 

I am so done. We have BT heard from her since Friday and I’m really looking forward to returning to normal. And this is the condensed version. Confused? So are we. 

UGH.