Going to go insane!
Okay, so my SD is officially moving in this Sunday , she is 17 and is as lazy, dirty and feels entitled beyond words. My H has decided that she is better living with us then with her BM. I want to have boundaries, rules, expectations and live stress free. My SD always brings on on fights, drama and stress when she doesn't get her own way, and thus inturn causes complete chaos in our home when she is her!
My H says he has my back with the rules and boundaries etc .My question is how long do I stand for this entitled brat to turn my house into chaos before losing my sh*t on her. I do not stand for laziness, or entitlment attitudes.
If I had my way she wouldn't be living with us as all .We would see her on holidays. And not to add too much info, but my H and I have a healthy s*x life and when she is here she is always walking into our room, and slamming her door when we get "in the mood", which in turn makes my H rethink our mood and well that ends that.
HELP
Establish Rules Up-Front
In words and in writing. Tell her it can be harmonious or it can be hell, but your standards don't change and if unacceptable to SD, you understand completely that she moves out to a better host to parasitically attach to. Then disengage completely and let your DH deal with her.
Define the ground rules with
Define the ground rules with your DH before she moves in (because afterwards it'll be too late) and let him explain them to her. Be sure he understands they are not negotiable. They include helping with the day-to-day maintenance of the home (picking up behind herself, doing her own laundry, keeping her room clean, pkus regular chores depending on what you think is important), respect (!) as in treating you correctly, not barging into your room without knocking and waiting for an answer, not playing loud music after (insert appropriate time), letting yoiu know when she'll be home late, and not inviting tons of friends over without clearing it with you.
Set your boundaries and stick to them.
Good luck.
As far as friends coming over
As far as friends coming over, in all the years my H and I have been together my SD has NEVER had friends over, gone to to been invited to parties or even birthday parties ( due to her, what I assume, is her lack of hygiene and b*tch* attitude toward every person ) . So the friends is not an issue, she takes everything out on myself or my H.
At 18 she is out
Yup if any rules are disrespected 18 is a good age for her to live on her own.
My question is how long do I
My question is how long do I stand for this entitled brat to turn my house into chaos before losing my sh*t on her
Zero amount of time. You start as you mean to go on. Anytime she doesn't follow the rules or live up to expectations, you call her out on it and do not let her get away with it. You have to immediately establish, and show her, who's queen of the household.
Slams the door? Take it off
Slams the door? Take it off the hinges and store it in garage and hide the pins so she can't hang it again. Strip her room and give her only the bare neccessities to start with. Start her off with nothing and let her earn it with good behavior. Either she puts up with it, or hates it and moves out.