Manipulative SS
DH got custody of his son about the same time we got together so I chose to take on and raise a 3 year old that wasn’t mine because his BM was on drugs and hardly ever saw her. I potty trained him and have done everything required of a mother ever since. As he grew up he turned into a liar who just makes up random stories and exaggerates to the point I don’t believe anything he says. When he was 17 DH was so fed up he sent him to go live with his BM(by this time she had been off drugs for a while). My brother,whom I was very close to, got married to a royal b@&ch that decided she didn’t like me for whatever reason which caused my brother to ghost right out of my life with no explanation or anything. This has caused me so much pain, it almost broke me. My brother never had anything to do with my SS until my SS decided to join the military and called my brother up to talk about what to expect when trying to join up. Now all of a sudden they are supposedly “so close” that SS invited them to his boot camp graduation. I didn’t learn of this until the last minute that my brother that won’t speak to me drove 10 hours to my SS graduation. That cut me deep. After that I told my SS in great detail how it hurts to see my brother and the intense pain it causes me. Now I find out he has invited them to his wedding so now I have to face my brother again and it has already started to give me anxiety attacks and that deep feeling of pain. I swear my SS is doing it on purpose to hurt me. It’s not his family. It’s mine. There is a little bit more to the story concerning the relationship between my SS and my brother but it’s way too much to type but this is the last straw. Im done with my SS after this wedding. I have absolutely no desire to talk to him again or even pretend that he exists. I went all those years doing the grunt work Mother’s do while raising my own biological children and this is the thanks I get. He has made it abundantly clear he doesn’t give my feelings a second thought. He is a grown man now and he is making a choice so I am making one also. Im done.
Do you have to go to the
Do you have to go to the wedding?
This is really sad. You must
This is really sad. You must feel so betrayed.
You know, you're writing off one person because of someone who wrote you off. That's a lot of loss. Have you thought about trying to find out what went wrong with your brother? I only mention it because in losing one person, you've lost three.
You sound really hurt and angry, and I don't blame you. Maybe when things calm down, it might be worth reaching out to your brother to try to put things back together enough so there isn't so much loss.
It sounds as if your brother and SS made a connection and maybe it has nothing to do with hurting you (or maybe it does). I hate that feeling of being on the outside of a chummy little clique.
Well you can't choose who
Well you can't choose who gets to be friends with who. It does hurt. I remember some of my closest friends for decades becoming with BM "because she wasn't that bad" because she can charm the skin off a snake (a perk of narcissism I guess) It was their choice to make and I had to accept it or let them go. I chose the latter and realized I haven't missed out on much by cutting them loose. I chose to go to their milestone events for brief appearances then would cut out early like birthday dinners and weddings but I wouldn't go to intimate gatherings at their houses. You should do this. Set up with your DH that you will make an appearance to the wedding but not stay long or be ready to leave when you are done dealing with it even if you have to take separate cars. While you do have to accept they are best buds, you don't have to watch them flaunt it. Just know that any relationship built on the mutual hate of someone else rarely lasts long. I actually don't think they considered your feelings at all when they began their friendship, it probably has more to do with being in the military together and bonding over that more so than a mutual dislike or anything that has to do with you.
I don’t have to go to the
I don’t have to go to the wedding but I would be staying home alone while my husband and biological children went to this wedding. It’s about an 8 hour drive from where we live now so this is going to be a 4 day trip. Either way I go it’s going to awful so I’m figuring I’d rather feel awful with my husband and children whom all know how deeply this situation hurts me. None of them can understand this new found “friendship” between SS and my brother but also feel they don’t have the right to say anything because it’s his wedding and he can invite who he wants. Also, when my brother started ghosting out of my life I called him 2 different times to talk to him about what’s going on and flat out asked him if I’ve done something to offend him or his wife and he blew me off and said there was nothing wrong but yet still won’t talk to me so I quit trying nd haven’t heard from him since. That was 4 years ago. I really have no idea what happened and had gotten to a point where I didn’t think about him everyday and now because of my selfish SS it’s being thrown back in my face and reopening a very painful wound. I can’t seem to get away from this pain.
CG, why are u even here?intrusive
i don’t appreciate your condescending, smart a** remarks. You’re not a stepparent therefore you have no right to comment. You don’t don’t know anything about it until you’ve lived it. Get off this site And find one for intrusive people that like to give rude advice on something they have never experienced themselves. They’ll want you over there.