You are here

I left.

icanteven's picture

Submitted by icanteven on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 9:40am

The past few days have been awful. He has given me no space, and I felt I could not breathe. Yesterday, I had a long day at work, hours of driving, then working far away, and coming back. I was at work for more than 12 hours. This is ok when it is needed, of course, but the night prior to yesterday, he kept me awake until only four hours before I had to go to work. I begged him, "please let me sleep. You know I have a long day tomorrow. I will be unsafe if I do not sleep." He repeated many times, "I am upset and you will deal with it!"

In the morning, yesterday, he woke up when I did (he usually sleeps until lunch time) and stood near me as I got ready for work. Imagine this. He is standing less than one meter from me staring at me angrily as I brush my teeth. Then as I gathered my things, he followed me around, repeating the things he said at night. He follows me to the door and says, "I am going to call you when you get on the train and if you do not answer, you will regret this." I had too much work to do that day to worry about what he meant by this, so I answered his call when I was on the train to work. He spoke to me very angry until I arrived at work and told him I needed to go in. I had to end the call while he was talking because he would not stop.

When I was working yesterday, he send me many SMS and facebook messages, even two emails, demanding I talk to him. I could not do this because I was working with my team away from the office. When I got home last night, he followed me around the house demanding I have the same conversation with him that we had many times before then.

Finally, I said no. I will not do this. I need to leave so I will survive, because you are pushing me to break. I packed a bag quickly, got in my car, and left.

Now I am at work, trying to figure out everything. It is a lot, but I know I made the best choice.

 

Comments

beebeel's picture

Submitted by beebeel on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 9:45am

Yes, you did the right thing. This man isn't interested in talking to you: he is berating and intimidating you. He is an abusive piece of shit.

Stay strong!! You deserve so much better.

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 10:15am

And stay strong--do NOT go back or it will get worse.  Don't cave to any "buuutt I neeeeeed yoooouuuu" lovey dovey talk just to reel you back in again for another pounding.

TX2step's picture

Submitted by TX2step on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 10:15am

He's trying to pound his anger into your skull. He won't let you sleep or work until you are broken down. Burn rubber baby and don't look back. Stay strong and safe.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 10:16am

If he is threatening you, you need to have him removed from the house. If I remember correctly, it is your house.

My co-worker just went through this. His wife flat out lied to the police that he threatened her, and they made him leave (house belongs to both of them), and she has a restraining order on him.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 7:08pm

OP, you may need to get a restraining order to do this. Please seek help from a women's shelter. They're experts at this sort of thing.

StepUltimate's picture

Submitted by StepUltimate on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 10:22am

I am sorry it came to that but very glad to hear you removed yourself. Very proud of you- that was an extremely difficult scene but you did it anyway. You are a strong person so don't let any feeelings or self-doubt (or gaslighting by this abusive man) stop you. 

You are in my prayers. I hope you can get some peaceful rest without interruption by the crazy-train. Please keep us posted.

Siemprematahari's picture

Submitted by Siemprematahari on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 10:23am

This is abuse, control, and harrassment on all levels. Leaving was the best thing you did. He doesn't care about you or your well being. He's concerned about himself and being heard.

Run and never look back!

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 10:30am

Good for you for leaving.  However, he is now living in YOUR house.  Have you seen a lawyer yet?  You need to do so as soon as possible so that you can protect yourself.  You need legal counsel to figure out how to get him out of your home and how to best protect your assets.  

Do you feel unsafe?  If so, please bring that up with counsel as well, and you may want to avoid seeing him unless you have someone with you.  

Stay strong; you're doing the right thing.  

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 10:37am

Please go see an attorney. He is beimg threatening. He is not allowing you to sleep. Please please go see an attorney and start divorce proccedings as well as a protection order ASAP.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 10:32am

He sounds completely unbalanced. In fact, he sounds like my abusive psycho ex and I worry for your safety. Please, for your mental AND physical health, Leaving is the best thing you could have done. STAY GONE.  {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 10:32am

Good choice on leaving... If you have all the crazy messages an dhe continues to send them I'd consider filing harrassment charges and possibly a restraining order... He seems to have snapped and you need to stay safe!!!

Major Blunder's picture

Submitted by Major Blunder on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 10:34am

DISCLAIMER: The following is completely not serious and onlu meant for comedic purposes.

We need to form a vigilante squad to go out and take care of these losers when they pop up, couple of good taserings and we could get them all into line !

StepUltimate's picture

Submitted by StepUltimate on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 10:52am

We gotta have a killer theme-song ("What I got you got to give it to your MA-MAH, give it away give it away give it away now!" -Red Hot Chili Peppers) and killer outfits. Our utility belts can hold tools like OFM, Disengagement 101 Cheat-Sheet, Wonder Woman's truth-teller lasso, BM-spray (similar to bear-spray but strong enough for the methed-out psycho BM's roaming the planet). 

I am so down with this!

TX2step's picture

Submitted by TX2step on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 10:45am

Y'all let me know if you need bail money.

Major Blunder's picture

Submitted by Major Blunder on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 11:29am

We need funding for this !

On another post there is a Dad dealing with a creeper Sted Dad that we have to take care of as well.

Major Blunder's picture

Submitted by Major Blunder on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 11:35am

We through some comdey in here but that doesn't mean we are trying to take away from your post, I hope you smiled a bit and that even though we were joking most were thinking like me and would actually go through with it if we could, at least I feel that strongly about abusers, Big tough guys beating on women, not to sound maco or what ever but my Father didn't raise me like that and any man whose does it I consider to be not a man at all and willing to kick him wherever I need to. 

Don't take that crap and good for you for the steps you have already taken, very proud of you !!!!!!

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 11:43am

Good for you for leaving.  My ex did the same thing to me several times. He'd follow me around really closely, intimidating me and yelling or berating me.  One of the last times I thought he was going to hit me (I was ready to call the cops and he knew it - in fact, the neighbor told me they could hear him and were ready to call as well) - but then he punched a wood door next to me instead.  From that point I steered clear and I left something like a month later.

TrueNorth77's picture

Submitted by TrueNorth77 on Fri, 08/03/2018 - 11:54am

Something is not right with him. There is being angry, and then there is threatening behavior. He is doing the latter. Please stay gone, I feel this could go really bad if you go back.