Bizarre behavior by ADHD stepson
Fortunately my wife's 2 children live mostly with their dad, and we see them every other weekend and every other school holiday. Wife's eldest child is a boy of 16, who's been diagnosed with ADHD and takes medication. Because of a stomach condition, however, he's not allowed to take the medication over weekends and school holidays. (Natch! Exactly when we get him!)
When he doesn't take the meds, and in addition to displaying the typical fidgeting and lack of attention of ADHD, he seems to regress to a childlike state. Wife and I recently went on a trip on which we couldn't take any of the kids. I let a friend take my own BS (16) and the stepson above on a fishing trip. Being out in the country and the lack of gadgets and devices seemed to cause an immediate case of cabin fever in SS. The friend sent us the most astonishing video of SS endlessly running around in circles inside the holiday home, while being to stop by our friend. He just ignored the adult friend and kept at it. Never seen anything like this. When he eventually tired out, it resulted in an hour long shouting match with our friend, in which he swore and cursed at the friend. Fishing trip was cut short and SS was returned to his father.
What SS also does is exhibit inappropriate behavior towards his sister (SD 13) and my wife (his mom.) He's all over them physically, continuously hugging them at home and in public, even touching their breasts (!!!!) I've repeatedly told him to leave his mom and sister alone, but he can't stop, it seems. I caught him opening the bathroom door while SD was showering this past weekend.
Surely this kind of behavior is abnormal, even for a kid with ADHD, especially the inappropriate touching and peeping?
My son and stepson have ADHD.
My son and stepson have ADHD. They are both fidgeters and pacers. Our main living area has a circle path- walk through the entry way through the formal living room to the formal dining room around the corner to the kitchen then circle back through the den and back to the entry way. Both of them will wear a track through the carpet pacing. Now, it is walking. And they talk to you the whole time their minds are just spinning. We eventually tell them to stop but the circles thing I kind of get. However, running it is weird to me for sure!!
Also, impulse control is a side effect of ADHD. Yelling at your friend when he didn't get his way, seems like it might be in line. I am not excusing his behavior because impulse control or not, there is acceptable and unacceptable behavior and there needs to be discipline for being disrespectful to an adult! Especially one that is taking you on a trip!
Now for the touching and peeping...No matter what inappropriate touching, voyeurism, etc. is WRONG! DW needs to be strong and harsh on this! This type of behavior can be dangerous and is often escalated by the perpetrator.
Thanks for the help
OK so the running may be normal, but I would agree that continual hugging and inappropriate touching perhaps not. I'm worried he does more than just touching with his sister.
Other question, seeing that I don't know a lot about ADHD - can it be inherited from the mom, or is it mostly from the dad? We are considering having another child, but DW is worried that SS could have inherited the ADHD from her family's side - she's got a postgraduate degree so she personally doesn't have it - and she's not that keen on going through the same issues that she went through with SS, should we have a baby.
I honestly don't know how it
I honestly don't know how it works when it comes to genetics. My (step)dad has it and so does my (half)brother but my (half) sister doesn't. SS18 has it but SS13 doesn't. My BS12 has it but DD10 doesn't... I think that it is also very over diagnosed. I fought the fact that my son did have it for too long. SS13's mom insisted he had it until she put him on meds and he went even crazier! She just didn't want to deal with a "boy".
I think there are also varying degrees of it. My son is not hyper but he is anxious. SS18 also has Autism and bipolar disorder so he just has a boat load of issues. What you are describing has more to do with being allowed to get away with behaviors than anything else. I also think you need a different medication if the one he is one "needs a break".
I have a postgraduate degree
I have a postgraduate degree and I am almost certain that I have attention deficit disorder - I am pursuing a diagnosis because I also have thyroid condition which means the hard work I used to do to overcome my lack of focus and wandering attention - I just don't have the energy for anymore. My mother is more the fidgety type - ADHD - and she has more than one postgraduate degree. I'm pretty sure my brother also has it and he has had more trouble overcoming his issues. He has a degree but it took him forever. There are doctors and lawyer and all kinds of people with this condition to varying levels who have worked out different ways to compensate.
Sound like he needs more
Sound like he needs more physical exercise. I also question the "stomach issues". Where did that come from? How can a person take it 5 days a week and then get recovered enough over a 2 day break to start another 5 days?? If it hurts his stomach, he shouldn't be on it in the first place. There are plenty of meds to choose from for this condition. Your wife doesn't have primary, we don't see that very often on here, is she involved with his doctors?? For having a post graduate degree, she doesn't seem to want to see her son get better. There is a patch available. Worked very well for us.
I dealt with 4 different kids/skids having ADD/ADHD. There are better solutions if his parents would pursue them. All you can do it give the boy some structure conserning the relationship you have with him. I might give his sister self defense lessons.
Sorry but the poor sexual
Sorry but the poor sexual boundaries is not related to ADHD. You have to get him to see a therapist as soon as possible or he will become a predator. This behavior needs to be shamed and stigmatized in your home. He is victimizing his mom and sister.
Autism?
Could he be also on the autism spectrum? and what type of counselling is he in to deal with some of the negative behaviors? I find it wierd that his meds can't be taken when it's your time with him.