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Sometimes you have to say it

Irene H.'s picture

Submitted by Irene H. on Tue, 06/26/2018 - 3:32pm

I finally said it. 

My 12 year old Skid is a horrible bitch (there’s no nicer word), a mean girl at school, and a mouthy, lazy, inconsiderate brat at home. 

Thanks to advice I got here, I’ve been disengaging a bit, and to my pleasant surprise, my BF has been stepping up. So all day Friday and Saturday she’s being a Holy terror, and he’s riding her, not missing a beat. I let them be, even though I was getting tired of hearing it, because I was so happy he’s doing his job. Finally, he tells her Saturday night that he’s sick of telling her to do the same things over and over, and she says she’s sick of our house. 

That stopped me in my tracks. I said, “What?!?!?!”

She repeated herself. “I’m sick of this house!”

So I said, “Then don’t come here. You think we want to deal with your mess and your crappy attitude and your whining about being yelled at? While you yell more than everyone else in this house, combined? Don’t do us any favors. If you don’t want to be here, don’t come. In fact, why don’t you call your mom and tell her to come get you?”

”I tried to call her but...” she stammered.

Me: “But she’s not coming. You know why? Because she doesn’t want to deal with your bullshit either.”

And that was it. Two days of constant bitching was over. So over that she didn’t talk to anyone in the house, at all, for a full 24 hours.

 

Comments

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Tue, 06/26/2018 - 6:04pm

My DH said pretty much the same thing to SD14 after her 3rd major rant about hating it so much at our home.

So he said, "Fine, then go."

She was stunned.  BM says she's upset at the rejection.  I say good - he called her out and now he's been working on healing himself.  She hasn't been back at our home since April.

StepUltimate's picture

Submitted by StepUltimate on Tue, 06/26/2018 - 10:53pm

You GO. Excellent response to someone who needed to hear it.

Cooooookies's picture

Submitted by Cooooookies on Wed, 06/27/2018 - 12:36am

Slightly different (he lives with us full time) but this is what I say to SS15 when he's in trouble and he gives me the look.  Ya know, the "I Wouldn't Have To Deal With This If I Lived With Someone Else" look.  So I tell him:

"Oh you think we're being unfair?  Okay, go with someone else!  You think your mother (BM2) would put up with your b.s?  Failing classes, not doing homework, not bathing, not doing any chores, eating all the food in the house?  You think she'd let you do this stuff??  You think your brother or sister would let you in their homes and say "Thanks, brother, for eating all our food while you sit on your smelly butt doing nothing every single day.  Gosh you're such a joy to have around!"  You go for it then...I'll help you pack a bag!

Funny he don't have anything to say and the look stops.  Yeah, that's what I thought!

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Wed, 06/27/2018 - 7:39am

In life, people have to suffer the consequences of their actions (and words). Some kids don't learn this. They get away with so much and think that the adults in their lives will chase them forever and put up with everything they dish out.

My SD found out a long time ago that one can only push people so far, even if they love you.