I know this isn't what you want to hear, BUT him going actually might be beneficial to your case if she's HC. Hopefully you'll have a good enough one that they'll realize a LOT of the BS...

Separate your finances, make sure he pays his portion of all the bills, puts money into a retirement fund and an emergency account and then let it go. This doesn’t have to be 50/50. You can split things on a percentage basis depending on what each of you bring home. 

Then Disengage.

You can not change him. All you can do is make sure he doesn’t drain your finances and put you in a bad spot in the future. Make sure he understands that those hoops he’s jumping through better not affect you and him and plans he makes with you.

What a freaking racket!

The kids are making out like bandits and will probably end up hating their father anyway; the therapists are making out like bandits; the attorneys are making out like bandits...and then there's you two.

I used to BEG my parents every summer to send me to riding camp! That's exactly how these skids end up so spoiled.

My rant aside, if you want to know how that therapy works, call your husband's attorney -- it's your mess too, so you have every right to ask questions and get answers.

In fairness, if your husband is "sans balls," even if BM didn't manipulate, he'd probably still give away the farm to her and the skids -- my husband is san balls too, so I get what you're up against. And because you can't be there, there's little you can do about it. So find out as much as you can so you know what to expect in terms of length of therapy and obligation. The second it goes past what he MUST do, you pull the plug on it. 

And as for that riding camp, we all know your husband is sans balls and can be manipulated. So why don't you manipulate him to say no to the camp? Do you remember how Christopher Reeve (actor who played Superman in the '80s films) ended up? He was a mountain of a man and an experienced equestrian before he was thrown from a horse and left quadriplegic. He was dead at 52.

Your husband could decline to fund his half of the camp by virtue of disagreeing with SD being in a dangerous sport. And if SD is at camp all summer, when will she spend time with her father??? Gosh, think how bad BM will look in court if she presses this camp thing when your poor husband only wants to spend time with his daughter???

my husband was told by his attorney if he does not do co-parenting therapy it will look bad in the eyes of the court since his exwife is willing(of course). I don't see a way out of it. If there PLEASE let me know...

I think his only hope of getting out of it is by confirming if this is actually court ordered co-parenting therapy or just coming highly recommended by his lawyer. You have to remember that lawyers are schooled and skilled at using just the right verbiage to get their client to do, or not do something that’s in their “best interest.”

I don’t see this sect of therapy as a bad thing, in general, but having to do it with a toxic, high conflict person can be hell and basically worthless when it’s all said and done, as high conflict parents generally aren’t open and receptive to change for the betterment of all involved. 

I don’t recall if it was court ordered or not, but my DH went to a few sessions with his high conflict ex wife. I say a few sessions, because HCBM wasn’t having it. I’m pretty sure she got her lawyer to call off the sessions because she couldn’t hang long enough, and be on her best behavior, to complete it. HCBM was, and still is, highly controlling, manipulative, and combative BTW. 

I’m a big fan of therapy, and if it’s an absolute must, maybe they can each go to their respective therapists and work on issues within themselves? 

He should research the other camps and offer to help pay for one that is more affordable. BM, SD, and the therapist can't say he isn't cooperative that way and it shows he's willing to compromise. If they insist on the most expensive option, I'd tell them to see me in court.

Ignore the request for therapy and let the brat go to camp. Be happy you don’t have to see her all summer.

Honestly, I don't believe that the therapist should have any business in the details of what your DH pays for and what he does not.  That is stipulated in their agreement and isn't in therapist territory.

If a therapist even tries to bring this up to your DH he can look at her and say this.

I understand the fact that my daughter wants to go to the most expensive summer camp in the region for the whole summer.  I will even go so far as to agree that she would probably enjoy the experience.  However, that is not an option that I am able to pay for.  You are way overstepping your boundaries by telling me how I should spend my money.  If my exwife wants to send her to this camp then she will have to be on the hook for payment in full.... as this is not going to be paid for by me.   Furthermore, this is in no way shape or form a need.  My daughter will not have her life ruined by not getting to go to a fancy summer camp.  I am here only to discuss issues regarding consisting PARENTING... NOT what fancy desire my EX wants me to bankroll.  So, if you want to get on with the discussion of how we can both set boundaries regarding screen time or discuss her inability to clean her room.. fine.  If this is going to turn into an arm twisting session to get me to open my wallet...I think we are done... and I will ensure that this is brought up to the state licensing board because I'm fairly certain that this isn't typically the type of behavior that therapists should engage in.

Yeah, I have to say, just split your finances and let this go. This is DH's problem to handle, and you aren't going to change his basic nature, nor can you control everything that happens.  I spent a long time trying to control how DH handled things, and sometimes still do, until I remember that this isn't my problem and I don't even have to think about it, much less fix it.  Then I feel great relief.

Just carry on focusing on the things in life that make you happy and let DH deal with his crazy ex and his kids.

Going to co-parenting therapy does not mean your DH has to do or agree to anything.  He should go, participate, document, document, document all of the XW and her therapy lacky’s Bullshit and learn to  say NO!

No judge is going to take issue with dad paying for half of a weeklong horse camp rather than half of the  whole summer at the Chateau de Horse Shit..

Remember. No is s complete conversation.

smh

Counseling after divorce is like having coffee after drinking too much.  It makes you feel better and can make you function somewhat but doesn't really fix the underlying issue.  Both people either truly want to co-parent and put the kid ahead of their dislike for each other or they don't.  Counseling is not going to magically change anyone's mind about that.  Maybe there is 1 couple in 100 who goes into it with pure hearts on both sides and can pick up tips on how to make it work.  But I firmly believe that the rest of the time there is one person pushing it so that they can force their ex into a room and beat the sh*t out of them on a regular basis.  All in the name of "getting to the bottom of things so that they can do right by the children" of course!  Good luck to your DH in finding a therapist who will put a stop to it.  I know the one that my DH had to deal with under court order years ago allowed it to go on for months because BM cried and claimed that she could not "move forward with co-parenting" until she "got all of her anger out first."