I was a step child
My parents got divorced when I was 16 and my mother remarried when I was 20. I never liked the man, still don't but am polite to him. We have nothing in common but my mother, and he makes her happy. It has always been this way. His family treated me like dirt but he was always polite. They have been married longer than she was married to my father. He has two sons who I never really knew. I only lived with my mother for a short time after she married him.
I have difficulty understanding why polite is so hard for people to do. My SO has a daughter who does not live with us. She is not polite to me. I have always been polite to her. I was reluctant to get involved with a man who had a teenager (18). We have a strong relationship. I find his daughter to be a spoiled princess who is rude and hurtful towards me and her father. Her mother appears to be an overbearing control freak. I am not finding many resources on strategies to deal with older stepkids.
It's easy to say you will never get involved with someone who has kids, but when you are in your late 50's there are not that many options.
I want this man in my life. Going forward I would like to have a polite relationship with his daughter.I realize the odds of that happening are not good.
- linnyV's blog
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Comments
Like Iamwoman said- your SO
Like Iamwoman said- your SO is going to have to fix this. He is going to have to create a home where you ARE respected and people are just genuinely courteous and polite. You don't have to be friends, you don't have to take on a "mommy" role, but you will be treated with the same decency that you show normal people.
If you SO is unwilling to have this discussion with her- move on now. Don't waste more time. SD will make you miserable forever if he SO doesn't nip the behavior in the butt now.
For some people, polite is a
For some people, polite is a foreign concept. With an HCBM I think it becomes even further. They're basiclaly conditioned against it. So unless your SO stands up against it like those before have said, it's not going to improve whatsoever. She needs to understand she doesn't have to like you, she does however need to treat you with the respect of being Dad's partner.
Kids are different now then
Kids are different now then how they used to be. I definitely feel like old school values don’t exist. I’m sorry you went through that as a child. From day one my mother treated my stepdaughter so well and now she doesn’t get a hello when she comes over my house. I don’t get one either. So I think because it’s ok for them they will always do it. Don’t worry about the relationship with her she’s an adult. Let your man handle it.