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And now we have to ruin nap time vent!

Kmommyof388's picture

Submitted by Kmommyof388 on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 10:41am

The only time I have for myself once again skid ruined! I shouldn' have to uproot three out of the four children to my room just because skid can' manage to do anything quietly!  Literally nothing...he could be eating a soft piece of white bread and he would still chomp and "NOM" as loud as he possibly can...how is it at all fair that the one space I have in the house that will fit my two toddler and baby comfortably gets overrun and completely taken over by the brat and his father who can' manage at all to let them nap?! This little Jerk wad has already woke up the baby six times since five am this morning 

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SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 11:13am

Gosh, I am so sorry and REALLY do feel for you. My formerSS13 used to wake my baby up, literally every time he was asleep. FormerSO had full custody of him, so it was EVERY DAY. He would also interrupt feedings (I breast feed).

It was so bad, I worried the interrupted feedings and lack of sleep my baby was getting would affect proper growth and development. My formerSO would do nothing, if i did I was "making him feel bad" and "got in trouble" for it.

For my formerSS13, it was definately a jealousy thing and was trying to cause problems. 

I couldn't put up with it and the potential damage to my son...

Kmommyof388's picture

Submitted by Kmommyof388 on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 11:15am

Every other weekend these kids neer get enough sleep the poor little baby has bags under his eyes cuz everytime he nods off here comes skid screeching right by his ear iam fuming 

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 11:18am

What does your DH say about it? I mean, it's IMPORTANT for babies and toddlers to get enough sleep... I don't understand how one (poorly behaved) child's "feelings" are more important than the HEALTH of the baby. It pissed me off SO MUCH. ugh! I'm fuming for you!

Kmommyof388's picture

Submitted by Kmommyof388 on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 11:20am

Oh I shouldn't be mad cuz "it' only a weekend" and he' just a kid and doesn't know any better 

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 11:44am

Ok, so if kid "doesn't know loud noise wakes the baby", HOW ABOUT YOU TEACH HIM! 

Stupid or no excuses for bad behavior chapps my hide. 

For me, it felt like formerSO put his son (and daughter that lived with BM) from his "first family" on a higher, more important level. Like my son should essentially get seconds or have to wait on everything. Nope. Not gonna happen, further I didn't want my son living in that environment and FEELING second when he got older and could realize wtf was going on.

Kmommyof388's picture

Submitted by Kmommyof388 on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 11:46am

Yeah the whole "doesn't know own any better" to me is a CRAP excuse, at six years old yes he does too know better my god enough with the coddling bs even the two year olds know what loud and stop means

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 11:53am

Yep, lol, and then I would hear how it was "all BM fault cuz SHE didn't teach him any different/better". Yeah, ok, neither did you and you still are not and you have full custody. LOL, of course then I just got "you just haaaaate my son!). 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 12:18pm

to be the father of your children is a real piece of work, isn't he? Anger management problems, emotionally immature, and he's an awful parent. What do you see in him?

You need to focus on getting an education and a marketable skill set so you can get away from this mess.

Kmommyof388's picture

Submitted by Kmommyof388 on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 12:26pm

Dh wasn' always this bad..I mean Yeah Disney dad but never to this extent. He used to be able to see it for what it is. Somewhere along the way he just snapped and got in his head that iam "attacking" his son...as far as skills I do have my cosmetology license  (haven even used it since I've had it) but it just seems like it' a pipe dream to ever use it...Idk it' just mentally exhausting trying to sit here and figure out what happened 

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 12:38pm

Kmom... I imagine for a lot of the people on this board either it wasn't this bad at first, slowly happened, they didn't see it because they weren't around the skids much until move in/marriage, tried to make it work for whatever reason, thought they help correct the bad behavior... that isn't as important as here you are and you have to do something to protect your babies and yourself from mental, physical, emotional damage, or to just be ok with daily life. Sure, stuff is going to happen that isn't rainbows and bunnies sometimes... but if it is a regular occurance that isn't addressed and allowed and YOU are made to feel wrong when deep down you know you arent... it's time for YOU to change something. For me that something was removing myself and my baby. I'm not saying that's what you have to do, but you NEED to do something.

Kmommyof388's picture

Submitted by Kmommyof388 on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 12:44pm

I agree, leaving is just my last resort I desperately want to try to fix this first (despite dh recent behavior his kids he has with me are so attached at this point it would devastate them) when I left for my mom' a few weeks ago all the twins could do at night or nap time was ask for daddy and look around the house for him it broke.my heart

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 12:54pm

I'm sorry. I know that hurts. I left when my son was 5months old. Not only to get away from the rude, mean, unhealthy and dangerous behavior of formerSS, but I also didn't want my baby to "get used to" living one way when I knew that's not what it was going to be. I KNEW no changes would be made, I had tried and tried and tried. For me trying any more would have been making it partially my fault and allowing or "being ok with" all of that. I wish you the best on this difficult road!

Kmommyof388's picture

Submitted by Kmommyof388 on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 1:09pm

I wish I had some sort of way of knowing what's right for this family...I know all too often it seems that maybe iam beating a dead horse but then there's the confusing glimmers of hope 

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 2:42pm

I don't understand why you continue to blame everything on the child. 

" completely taken over by the brat and his father who can' manage at all to let them nap?! "

You said "and his father" .  Let me guess. Is Daddy and Jr playing video games (you've mentioned how many hours Daddy plays video games a day before)? Did you replace the broken television?

Is there a reason Dad and son can not play videos in the room you're hiding out in? Kick them out. Take the littles and go back to where you can be comfortable. No grown man and one small child need to be hooting and hollering. Let Dad entertain his oldest quietly. Legos' ? Puzzles? A nice walk in the park? 

Kmommyof388's picture

Submitted by Kmommyof388 on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 3:51pm

I "replaced" the tv with the one I had from when I lived with my mom. It' always the video games that initially cause the loudness but at the same time they won' even watch the tv quietly, I had that tv in my bedroom, but dh decided it had to be in the living room  (it gets cooler in there compared to the rest of the house) I have suggested the park *we have one not even a block away* but neither of them ever want to be outside..meanwhile I can' even get my kids to agree to come in unless otherwise suggest a game to bring us in...but it' unnecessary to be so loud and obnoxious about every aspect of life not to mention my kids need it quiet to even attempt a nap I have had to put them in my room but we'e always followed and interrupted 

Kmommyof388's picture

Submitted by Kmommyof388 on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 4:03pm

Th video games and the fact they have to literally do everything loudly despite a ing niely begging even for them.to settle down and be quiet nothing works...I blame the child because he will say ok when u say ok babies are trying to sleep but then he will within seconds climb onto the couch while screeching at the top of his voice and jump off. So he does know to hush h just refuses to he has a had time "remembering" that he was told to play quietly

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 4:17pm

And then is when Dad is suppose to parent and control his kid. 

I'm sure you've heard about a parent who says 'stop that, stop that', but never takes any real action. The kid rapidly learns he can do what he wants because that 'stop that' parent is not going to do anything about the kid's misbehavior, loud noise, or anything else the kid is doing. 

The kid is six. He needs consistent parenting. He needs to know there will be consequences for behavior. Your Dh is not teaching his kid anything but 'hey, kid, do what you please because after I tell you to stop that, I'm done parenting and you can do what you please'. 

You have a husband problem. Your husband has a parenting problem. That little boy is exactly who and how his father (and probably mother and grandparents from what you've previously written) has turned him into. 

Your husband needs to change his attitude and parenting before anyone can expect for the child to change his behavior.

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Sat, 05/26/2018 - 9:08pm

I guess that is what you need to build on. You have to talk to DH and lay out what you need. You need him to agree to xyz changes and he MUST remain consistent. If he will not agree, you have your answer and YOU must act accordingly. If he does not agree and you do nothing you are telling him you are ok with the bad behaviors.

You have to rip the bandaid off, as much as it hurts.