Oh nooooo!
So...now it's official, dh will always hate our first born son together and he will always be treated like s***. He accidentally broke dh new TV and I cancant find the receipt with the warranty number and now it' just so so bad...the kid in question is only two but I guess that's no excuse. I should have been watching him better but I was changing a diaper so u didn't see....oh God my poor kid.hes already been punished but Dad is still really angry and stomping and slamming doors and yelling at him..I understand he is angry and reasonably so since we can' afford to replace it...but he should be even more angry with me...and I don' know how to get him to understand its my fault and not to be too hard on the two year old. The switch was more expensive than the tv and he didn' give a crap that his first son (my ss) broke it...and he had absolutely no repercussions 
very sad upsetting day
- Kmommyof388's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
If my husband was stomping
If my husband was stomping around yelling at our 2 year old, I would take my baby out of the house and stay with someone else. Screaming at babies is unacceptable.
Stand up and tell your H to
Stand up and tell your H to stop being an AZZHOLE! There is no need to be furious at a 2 year old for christsakes! Be mad at the situation, be mad that you guys can't afford an new one, but a 2 year old is not where he needs to take his anger out!
If he can't pull his head out of his azz, pack up the kids and go for a drive. Stay at your parents, his parents, a friends house for the night! Something...
Screaming at a two year old
Screaming at a two year old won't get him anywhere.. maybe you could go somewhere until he cools down?
How did he break it? Did he
How did he break it? Did he knock it over? If so, that's your husband's fault, because a TV should be bolted and secured down, especially with young kids in the house.
Are your parents close by? If so, grab your kids and go there (or to a friend) until he cools down. And then I would insist on counseling - there is no excuse for yelling at a 2 year old like that. An adult who doesn't realize that this is not the toddler's fault is not rational.
You also say that he is now going to hate the child forever. That seems ridiculous, but if you see that coming to pass, it might be time to make some tough decisions. That's off in the future, however.
He has a ride on type toy
He has a ride on type toy that he just discovered he can pick up over his head and throw it like a donkey Kong barrel...and despite being told that's not a throwing toy ( were still working on things we don' throw ) well anyway he threw it.. and the tv got in the toys way...I was going to take the twins to the park today but it keeps raining...the toddler in question is already a basket case when it comes to people raising their voice or even changing the tone of voice. Even when he's not the one in trouble he cries like he is "he is a very sensitive little boy and his feelings get hurt very easily"...I don' know I have always felt like dh loves my children less than he loves s.s. and they are his kids too. So it's like every teeny tiny thing they do gets blown out of proportion and the when the skid does something*usually way worse I may add* skid won't even get yelled at or even talked to. It's so frustrating...I mean yes he is a toddler but my goodness you can' expect them to be angels all the time .especially when u look at who their main influences are
Even if you have the receipt
Even if you have the receipt and warranty number it may not be covered.
But, if you think it would be, and you bought it with a credit card, try calling the credit card company. With the reference number the credit card company can give you, the purchase store should be able to find your purchase date and warranty info.
When it rains it pours
Yeah the insurance we bought for it apparently doesn' cover that. And the dh had a meltdown. And decided to punch the tv and break it more then threw it outside....I was told to keep "that stupid ass kid" away from him so I think I'm going to ask my mom if the kids (all three of mine ) can stay the weekend with her...for the first time in my life was scared of a man. And this won' ever happened. Again today he is being put on notice that if he does anything even remotely like this again he can kiss us all good bye and I'll make sure he won' have unsupervised visits..this was too much
Thank GOD you are leaving!
Thank GOD you are leaving! Keep us updated. I am worried about you all!
Wow, I wouldn't just be
Wow, I wouldn't just be making arrangments for skids to stay at your mother's I'd be staying there as well. That is uncalled for. Sure it's understandable to be mad, BUT my land, it's a 2 year old, 2 year old's do 2 year old things, this is why we can't have nice things kind of things.
To be honest, his anger is displaced here. If the kid has been using his ride on toy improperly, it should have been taken away by a parent, so he should be angry with himself.
Not just the kids. YOU need
Not just the kids. YOU need to go too. Leave him a note that you are giving him the weekend to decide if he wants to be married. If he does, counseling is non-negotiable and he will NEVER act like this towards your kid again and he will NEVER react like this to you again.
Don't mean to ring alarm bells but
you either need to have him move out of the house or you need to move out with the kids until he agrees to get counseling. If you are living in the States and someone calls CPS over the noise, the argument, whatever, and the police show up - you BOTH could have the children removed. He for the domestic violence/throwing a fit/throwing the TV and you for failure to protect. I've seen some cases were they will leave the children with mom if she agrees to get an order of protection against dad until he has had appropriate counseling and attends parenting classes. This probably won't happen but I just wanted to let you know what could happen.
I will be staying with my
I will be staying with my children and parents until this blows over. Never has he ever been so angry and I think it has to do with something else. But he's been told no more...and we won' be coming back home until he changes, I've never been scared of him until now. (I used to be in a very abusive relationship being beaten on a daily basis for little things like not cleaning out his damn ashtrays so I learned never to allow someone that much power over me again) I never let anyone make me fear them..but this time I was..and I wasn' even scared for me I was scared he would take it out on kids so I said I have to go. My mom is thrilled her grandchildren and I will be visiting (I'm pretty sure she pooped a rainbow when we showed up lol) but no this is the first and last time my children are afraid.
You are a very strong lady
I'm sorry you and your children are having to go thru this! I know it is hard to take a stand like this with your marriage and it is frightening but you are really strong especially with three babies. Hope everything works out for you!
Thanks everyone for the words
Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement and wisdom...dh has been blowing up my phone since I left with I'm sorry and never again.but I told him we all need a break from eachother and I said my children are loving being with my mom (they barely see her) but they are all in the (heated) pool and having a blast I told him we are staying until Monday morning he can figure out how he wants to settle this from there
I hope you guys can work this
I hope you guys can work this out. It really does sound like there is much more to this than just a broken TV.
It might be that he is angry with SS as well but doesn’t feel that he can express it, the whole poor COD thing. So when the child he can get angry at does something he completely over reacts.
Its not right and you definitely shouldn’t be expected to accept it but it might be a starting point to fixing it.
After a super long and
After a super long and awkward phone conversation *mom doesn't know all the story cuz she will demand I leave him without a second look* but he seems to be genuinely sorry and he's actually admitted that it' more than the tv "he actually mentioned that his son broke alot recently" it's really getting to him that the lay off has been so long and the unemployment checks are all gone so it's like he has to admit were not ok financial wise anymore and he's upset he hast a week to find a job to support us
Please do not go back. At
Please do not go back. At least not until your DH attends anger management classes , sees his day. for depression and starts counseling both on his own and as a couple.
Even then, I wouldn't go back, but I would not have put up with the crap you've been putting up with to begin with.. No man worth this behavior. No man worth watching him sit on his *ss while you take care of all the babies/toddlers.
Please do not hide reality from your mother. I don't like reading how you have laid the blame of what happened on yourself (the 'I should have watched closer' et). Accidents happen. Toddlers do stupid stuff. You don't have one toddler you have two and a baby. The kid was only acting out what he sees happen on all those video games SS and DH play day in and day out. I don't like you hiding the extent of the temper tantrum your DH tossed from your mother (making excuses and hiding the truth are how abusers get away with their behavior).
This wasn't a little fight with DH where you'd be gossiping and bad mouthing your DH. No, this was a grown *ss man physically and verbally terrorizing a woman and three very small children. These kids watched Daddy turn into a real life monster. Your mother is probably the one person who will gladly take you in any day at any time and assist you getting back on your feet and stable on your own.
Do you realize that if your neighbors would have heard all the screaming, crying, throwing and slamming things they may have called not only police on your DH but also made a report of child endangerment to child protect service. This man could make you lose your children.
Stop talking to and texting with your DH for the weekend. Take this time to totally 100% stay away from him and think about what happened , what could have happened. You need time to think this through. It isn't about just you, you have three babies that totally depend on you and you protecting them.
So his excuse is no job and
So his excuse is no job and no money? What happens in 2 weeks or a month and he still has no job? Is that an excuse to be even more mean and fly off the handle at toddlers even more? And why fly off at toddlers and not SS that behaves even worse?
For Pete's sake, stop
For Pete's sake, stop communicating with him! You're completely undermining the whole impact of leaving by continuing to text with him and telling him when you'll be back.
I realize completely what is
I realize completely what is at stake that is why I left to begin with...I know if I would have stayed in probably would have been the one doing the yelling. Cps is no joke (I almost got taken away from my mom cuz my dad) if I go back (Monday I need to bring more clothes and diaper I only brought enough to last us until monday) we need to have a long talk about this and therapy and a long road ahead
The Child is TWO. Your
The Child is TWO. Your husband needs to sit down and shut up. And YOU need to stop taking the blame. Accidents happen. It sucks when the accident is expensive but it happens. Your husband seriously needs some anger management help.
I would stay with your mom
I would stay with your mom until your DH finds a new job and then evaluate your options. The stress of no money and unemployment and having small children is huge alone. Having all three is pretty overwhelming. I would not go back or even think about it until he has a job.
You are following the same
You are following the same pattern as your last marriage. It sounds like it is the same pattern of abuse you experienced as a child. Now you are raising your children in a family where again violence is acceptable. And as a result your kids will likely grow up to be abusers or victims be themselves. For cripes sake, don't you want something different for them? Something better?
Hon, you need more than a weekend at your mom's house. Every time you forgive DH you empower his cruelty and give him the "okay" to be even bolder with his "punishment."
It's on you now, not him. You need to protect your children.