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Feeling alienated

Kmommyof388's picture

So the latst drama..dh and I need to move in August I don' want to stay another year here! Lol but anyway...his dad wants us to join him in Michigan, and he will cosign a loan for us to get a house.and dh can work with him..I don't really want to live in a state that only has HIS family there. On the flip side of things my sister offered us the same thing but in Nebraska.(my mom moves to Florida in September) so I feel like her offer is valid too. The areas that dh's father wants us to live (are not at all safe neighborhoods and my twins will be ready for preschool soon) like I guess the comparison to the neighborhoods looked at seem exactly like the south side of Chicago. (Not good )  but anyway my sister lives in a smaller town with better schools and less property tax. I suppose what iam asking is am I being totally unreasonable to have dh at least think about Nebraska? 

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Kmommyof388's picture

If we find somewhere in this state... (impossible for him to afford as many rooms as needed) he offered without consulting me, moving his mom in with us! I don't want her to live here jumping state is our only Salvation from her not living with us

ESMOD's picture

Honestly, with the issues your DH has, I would be very disinclined to go to where his father is and be beholden to him and not have any support.  Personally, I would not want to be involved in any home loan with that dynamic because it may trap you into something that you feel is too complicated to get yourself out of.  I think you need the support of your family so I think Nebraska is a better option for many of the reasons you gave.  If you do move to where his dad is, I would insist on renting for a year before buying (shoot, might be a good idea with your sister's state as well).

Kmommyof388's picture

Yeah I was thinking that too, on the plus side of Nebraska, my sister offered us to babysit whenever we need her. Her husband rehabs  houses so my dh would be working with him. I just feel like the sneaking his mom into the equation was uncalled for she is always undermining me with the kids and I have simply had enough of her(it' a struggle to deal with the overnights on the weekends skid isn' here)

Harry's picture

Its clear you don’t want to be by your DH family.  They will guilt you into a life you don’t want to live.

You have to move by your sister!!    That is clear

Kmommyof388's picture

And considering he doesn' even like his own family, iam not even sure why this is an argument. I think he doesn' like my sister cuz she doesn' cater to  people who feel entitled, and his whole family is that way.the further I can get away from them the better off I feel my kids will be.

Survivingstephell's picture

Don't move to Michigan!  I live here and It is not what it use to be.  The schools are getting worse.  Jobs might be booming according to data but they are low paying ones.  You don't want to be stuck here without any support.  The roads suck, potholes galore which lead to car repairs, gas prices bounce all over the place, usually getting jacked up then back down let then half a few days later.  You don't say what side of the state but put your kids first and go to Nebraska.    We are getting out in 2 years.  Can't wait!

 

Kmommyof388's picture

His father lives in Detroit, and they were looking for us in Ann Arbor but I just feel like we're leaving with the same problems that are in illinois

ndc's picture

What happens with your stepson if you move to either place?

Judging by your husband's recent actions, I would not be inclined to move to be near his family.  You need help with those babies that you're not getting from him, so being close to your sister would be a big benefit to you.  I certainly would not want to take his father's help with the home loan - if you need him to co-sign the mortgage, chances are you can't really afford the house.  The last think you want to do is tie yourself to a house you can't afford.  

Kmommyof388's picture

I would think that if we had to live out of state we would get his son once a month then alternate holidays not sure I will have to look into it. I guess iam just so ready to be rid of his family interfering with our lives I wasn' looking at big picture