We don't have many pictures around the house period because we have an extremely small apartment but there is one photo on the well with DH, SS and BS. Yes it triggers many feelings but what can I do? 

I have just as many pictures up in my house as they do of me....zero....

Well, that's not true, I have one in a cabinet blocked by a whole bunch of stuff so I do not have to look at it...so I have one more up than they do...lol. 

Prior to their intentional nastiness, I put many pics up, as that was the only present I ever received, even then....I owe them what they give me, nothing.

Tell your wife that it’s more important that You feel comfortable in your home than SD or any of the skids.

When her kids have their own home, that they pay for, then their comfort will come first.

The pictures of my SDs in the house, used to really bother me, but they don't any longer.  For me, things got a lot better when they stopped coming EOW, about 4 yrs ago,  and the photos don't get to me like they used to. 

In general, I don’t have a lot of photos displayed in my house, or at least in the common areas. 

DH has some outdated photos of skid in his office at home, and that’s it. 

To be honest, I don’t want to look at skid’s face on the daily. I just don’t. She’s a reminder of all the hell BM has, and continues to, put us through. 

Same goes for pictures of my in-laws. I don’t want to look at their faces any more than I have to. They have been a real problem in my marriage and I absolutely refuse to acknowledge (or celebrate) people who want to continually try to bring me down. 

Pictures of step kids in displayed in my home? That is what the pegboard in the garage is for.

Seriously, I don't decorate with family photos, so not really an issue. There really is a picture of SD on the pegboard, though.

We have more pictures of our pets than our children, who are all adults. I have a spot that is personal to me where I have two small pictures of my children. DH said he was going to put pics in his office, but he never has. 

In our previous house, it was only fitting that I saw OSD's face hanging on the wall of the hallway while using the half bathroom....(I only kept the door open when no one was home).  I didn't realize how perfectly I had staged where that picture was hung at the time.....  *ROFL*  I did not want to see that stuck up face in our new home. 

The s/kids can have photos of who they like in their own room. I dont consider it "my space" and dont feel it right to control what they are sentimental about. 

I have a small felt / push pin board in the kitchen. It HAD a photo of STBXH and I and all three s/kids - including SD21 from who I was disengaged from - on the board. 
No one but me seemed to notice the push pin went straight through the middle of her face... Ah well, the photo is gone now.  (Channeling my "inner voodoo"  must work.)

Unfortunately yes. They are in my husbands home office. I try not to go in there very much but when I do and see them I want to barf sometimes.

I have pictures of both his kids and of mine along with his grandkids and my grandkids.  I don't care about the pictures - as far as I am concerened it is our home.  So I display both.  And I will add that two out of the 4 Skids make sure they know I am nothing to them.

Your wife needs to stop discussing you and your marriage to her children.  They are taking her lead on this.  She's complaining to them and it's causing problems.

Have you asked your DW to not discuss you and your marriage to them? 

When SD got married, as "gifts," to us, she gave us SEVEN photos from her wedding: her with her dad before the wedding, her dancing with her dad, her walking down the aisle with her dad...and one with me in it with my husband, his brother and mother, but not her. That's because I was not included in any family photos, of course. I hated the frames she chose and I'm the one who decorates the house and dusts the house. I left one photo out of my husband and her and put the rest in a box. It's in a corner I avoid.

When I went to SD's small apartment after the wedding, she had, no kidding, 11 photos displayed from her wedding and I wasn't in any of them. That's ironic because I paid for the wedding, wrote 150 invitations, arranged all the flowers, got the balloons, made the directional signs, carted around the bride's grandmother and tended to her nasty wounds when she fell. BM did nothing except show up for the parties, makeup, hair and nails sessions and bitch to anyone who would listen about why my husband would ever want to be married to me.

I know what you mean about even the sight of 'em triggering a negative response. I don't have happy memories of the day she married, except that I was so terrified of SD and her mother that I dropped 23 pounds without even trying!

By the same token, I didn't think I could put them all away because of my husband. We don't have a lot of photos of anyone, and none from our own wedding, so I don't feel too guilty, but I did feel obliged to leave out one.

My mother never misses a chance to give me crap about this decision, but...I also have no photos of my mother out, for obvious reasons. Most of our photos are of my husband and me in faraway lands and my dog -- only things that conjure good thoughts.

Because your situation is so raw and recent, maybe go get some photos made of you and your wife and put more of those out to dilute her kids' photos. Move the kids' photos to that room you never visit. If you ask her to put them away, I don't think it will help your marriage.

To be honest, SoDisappointed, you can't tell much from the written word. If you asked her if she wants to get outside help and she's hearing an ultimatum, maybe it's in your tone, maybe it's in your demeanor or maybe it's in her head. Are you asking or are you making threats? Are you just asking her in a threatening manner?

You're both raw from what's happening, so she may be jumping to conclusions or putting words in your mouth. But I hope you're being honest with yourself about your part in the discord, if there is any. You sound hypersensitive in your writing, so maybe, just maybe you're putting words in her mouth or jumping to conclusions? If you're having anxiety events because of seeing the photos, that's a little beyond something you may be able to handle yourselves. Maybe you should separate for a while so you can concentrate on you and she can figure out what's real and what she's inventing in the height of this discord.

Maybe some space will salvage what you once cherished. But you have to know to take it when you need it.

Marblefawn give OP a break please. I can identify with everything he is saying and what does hypersensitivity mean? That he is in touch with his feelings and expressing them openly and candidly in order to save his marriage?

Like me, he has tried everything to keep his relationship alive and I know that what he puts here is only the tip of the iceberg, as it is with many others. Only when you have walked that road and realised there is no path for you, that that path is only about the other people in your life who do not wish to please but only to destroy you? Is that a path you would willingly walk?

I tried to do everything, even re-engage, in order to put things right because I had been made to feel it was all my fault- but even that self-sacrifice got no response because they wanted me gone. When I realised that was what he wanted I went. 

Sometimes there is no other option for people trapped in these webs. Please accept that.

Before or after disengaging from the adult skids, would I display their pictures anywhere in our home. No, no, no thank you. 

For a while I felt like I was being pressured to put out their pictures when we use to exchange holiday gifts with the skids, because all we got from them were pics of them with DH and them with the Gskids. One time OSS and his hateful wife sent DH and I a picture of gskid sitting in front of a big picture they have in their home of the DH and his late wife. Now, seriously, you know they took the pic and sent it to us on purpose. One of DH relatives actually asked us why don't we have pictures of the adult skids or their kids out?  really, none of their business I gather.

The pictures the skids displayed in their homes were shrines of their late mother and DH, tons of old wedding pics of DH and their late mother, and pics of their whole family the way it was 20 years ago.

Dh and I joked about sending all the adult skids our beautiful wedding pictures so they would get the message about why every chance they got, they kept giving DH and I pictures of their family the way it was before my arrival. I would not even waste postage to send them anything any longer.

Even though DH and I have pretty much disengaged from them, we see no reason to have pictures of people we do not get along with, and cannot respect our marriage. I think it is a normal human response to be repulsed by a picture of someone who hates you for no reason and who has been so hateful to you.

Any person should feel comfortable in their own home. A spouse should respect the fact that placing pictures of anyone who has been nasty to the other spouse is not being respectful of the abused spouse. A home a couple shares is their home and not a shrine to hateful adults who do not want that couple to be together to begin with.

It DOES make you wonder if the skids display YOUR pictures in THEIR house.  I'll bet the OP's picture isn't prominately displayed in his Skids houses!  They dislike the OP as much or more than he dislikes them.  I agree - having to look at someone who has been rude and rejected you on the walls of your home would be hard for anyone to swallow.

In my case, we were expectedd to place SD's pictures all over the place but when we visited her home a small photo of us would be hastily placed on the refrigerator.  I can understand that she would not want her Mother to see our picture but then, she should expect the same from me.  As far as nosy relatives asking where SD's pictures are I am just honest - and say I don't like her.

Funny there is one pic of my SD who is now 26 but was 11 when the picture was taken at our wedding. Its on a book shelf and I moved it behind other bigger picture frames so you barely see or know its there. Every time I look at the book shelf I just giggle to myself and find pure joy of not seeing her ungrateful, self-entitled, disrespectful face