i should start by saying that SD16 is so much more irritating than SS17. I honestly have trouble looking at her circlely beady eyed plain face. In no particular order:

non stop lying even about stuff that she doesn’t even need to lie about 

her appalling hygeine

 the way she acts like a 5 year old even though she is 16 

the passing of information between the households which only serves the purpose to annoy everyone. She has been repeatedly told not to do this but will not stop

her listening in to conversations that do not concern her. I caught her at the top of the stairs the other day listening in to my phone call downstairs 

her inability to catch on to social cues

her pulling a sickie from school knowing I was in hospital having a procedure following a devastating miscarriage. I had to change the direction of the uber on my way home to pick the lying little b1tch up from school. Note I was sideways with grief and pain and she knew this. This was the end for me of any possible relationship with her. Unforgivable.

her greediness with food and her frequent lies about what she has eaten

the fact that she looks so much like her mother 

her woeful conversation skills

Her hairy chest. Deal with it! You have dark brown hair!!!

there is so much more. That’s just the entree. 

FormerSS13 thinking I should have to deal with stealing, creeping, rudeness, nastiness, idiotic or unhygienic behaviors because "we are family now". No, "we" are not.

I will NEVER think eating peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon (double dipping of course) is ok. Even the jar of natural peanut butter he "thought was gross" even though he had his own, because he should be able to have some too. 

Not using toilet paper (#2) is not ok. 

Not using toilet paper (#2) and then getting straight in the bath tub to marinate in your own feces is never ok. 

After marinating in feces using your fingers to eat (community food even, like veggies and dip). 

Fully pushing veggies until submerged in dip, fish them out and eat, sucking fingers "clean". Rinse repeat.

Be as loud as possible every time a baby is sleeping "by accident cuz he didn't know, or forgot".

Creep as quiet as possible to sneak up and scare someone or listen in on conversations (when baby is awake of course).

Have a room so nasty messy it looks like an abandoned drug flop house you see in crime TV sitcoms.

Steal money every chance you get, even though dad opens wallet ALL THE TIME for ANYTHING you want.

Break glass and put it in baby play areas every possible chance.

Man... what a relief to be in my own peaceful home again!

My SSs stay with us for 2 days and after they leave, the entire house is a mess. There are blankets, pillows, trash, and dirty dishes in every room they entered. 

Also, they won't eat real food when with us, but either eat or destroy any snacks we have - by destroy, I mean, stick their dirty hands in bags of crackers, leave boxes and bags open causing crackers, chips, cereal to go stale, drink 1/4 of a soda, bottle of water, or other drink and then just leave it lying somwhere, leave things that need to be refrigerated out on the counter. 

And my least favorite of all - they put their shoes on the counter...all.the.time. 

Taking pictures of our home and financial information and sending it to their mother.

Lying about stupid little things.

Not eating real food and wanting us to spend money on fast food.

Arguing when they are asked to do something or you have to tell them 10 times to do something.

Saying the f word in front of adults.

Not flushing the toilet before they go back to BM's.

Really poor hygiene, have to be told to brush their teeth or to take a bath even though they smell like body odor.

I have very limited contact with skid, if I can help it, but the most annoying and consistent behavior from her is always bringing up BM. For an almost 12 year old, she sure thinks and talks about her mom - a lot.

DH is forever gently reminding her to keep it to herself - that no one wants to hear about her Mom, that people would rather hear about her (skid). 

After the way last Christmas played-out, though, I’m starting to see it’s a very intentional behavior. One that my MIL enforces, too, which sucks because her head is (still) far up BM’s toxic arse.

One SS talks about his mom...or tries to talk about his mom when he is with us. I think he wants us to think that his mom is cool or something. I also think that he's trying to get DH to say something nice about her, which won't happen, because she treated DH like crap for their entire marriage (their couples counselor told him that divorce would be good for him because BM was abusive, at which point, BM refuses to go to any more counseling session) and now treats him like crap and tries to keep information from him. She also plays mind games with the children and tells them the divorce was DH's fault (even though she filed for divorce, so she could move her new boyfriend into the house). 

Usually, when this SS insists on talking about his mom, I give him a vague positive affirmation and keep the conversation moving. My DH outright ignores him. 

MIL in my life is also a big fan of BM. Therefore, I keep MIL at arms' length. 

The need to be entertained every second he is in the house -SS is EIGHT years old and can't entertain himself for five minutes - my four year old entertains himself very well for hours on end if Im cleaning etc. 

The constant 'daddy daddy daddy'  and by constant I mean every five seconds - DH can't even go to the bathroom without SS8 saying 'daddy' the entire time he's in there. What is with that????

He pees all over the bathroom - it's gross. He sometimes flushes - sometimes doesn't. 

He always stinks  - even after a bath. He still needs to be washed in the bath, doesn't know how or wont' do for himself. 

He chews loudly (I can hear him in the other room) with mouth open and lips smacking and food flying across the table. He talks with food in mouth. I can't eat at the table with him. And OMG - he hits his spoon and fork against the plate and table constantly, because he likes the noise. DRIVES ME UP THE WALL.

He brags constantly about all the toys BM buys him  (we tell him not to throw toys against the wall or to hit toys together, they will break, he says 'that's ok' you can just buy new ones if I break these. Ummmm no we can't!!!) and the vacations they take. I don't think they are ever 'at home' - after school they go out to eat and then to friends. 

So the list could go on - but there's a few for you.

-bringing up or talking about the other bio parent 

-making a mess and not cleaning up when they are old enough to do so 

-ease dropping on conversations between adults that do not pertain to them

-lying, stealing, and manipulating

-demanding adults get them things or do things for them when they are plenty old enough not to be asking adults 

-destroying food, meaning opening food in pantry and not closing it to where it goes stale. putting dirty hands in food packages. opening a bottled water and taking two sips and not finishing it so basically wasting it.

-being gross. basic cleanliness not being adhered too. showering or bathing but not washing themselves properly, just playing in the shower or bath for long periods of time and their feet, armpits, butt, etc still stink when they get out because they arent washing themselves but just playing around in the shower wasting water. not brushing teeth or washing hands properly. nose running or food on face without wiping it. not flushing toilet. 

-throwing tantrums that are appropriate for a 2 year old when they are much older or flat out ignoring their parent when told something

-eating like a pig always makes dinner not an enjoyable event

-not listening 

My SD11 is usually a good kid but she has two habits that drive me nuts. First, she is sneaky and nosy. She listens in to my conversations with DH. It's like having a constant spy in our house. She asks us about what things cost or why we are doing things. I feel like she is purposely gathering info for her mother.  I can't stand that I have no privacy. And of course, DH acts like its no big deal, but when I catch her listening outside our bedroom door then yes, it is a big deal.

The other thing is that she is attached to my hip all the time. I'm an introvert by nature and I work in a busy medical billing office. I talk to people all day. When I get home, I just want some time to decompress. My DH is still at work so SD follows me around, talking about random crap. Even if I try to redirect her, she still just continues to follow me. I will literally lock myself in my room to avoid her for five minutes. DH has had several gentle conversations with her about it, but it doesnt help. I hate feeling like I can't be comfortable in my own house.

His voice, his face (he looks just like BM2), the fact that he breathes the same air that I breathe.  He has the personality of a dish cloth.  Actually a dish cloth would be more exciting if it had colorful designs.  It's not SS15's fault, he is a product of lack of direction and accountability and anything useful.  Still...I do NOT like the product.

Other than that, not much. 

Although my SS11 can be quite demanding and dramatic at times, for the most part he’s a lovely and sweet kid and we get along. I cannot say the same for my SD13 and the list of what I don’t like about her is endless but I’ll try to keep it as succinct as possible:

She exaggerates or lies most of the time.

She asks the same questions over and over and over again. I’ve honestly been asked some questions 50+ times and that’s no exaggeration. Many of her questions are also very personal and tactless as well.

She’s very selfish, has no empathy and does not care about the impact of her actions on others.

She lacks any initiative or independence and wants help with every little thing.

She struggles to articulate herself and this makes communicating with her very difficult.

She is the queen of hypocrisy – ie criticising people for the same stuff she does.

She takes no responsibility for her behaviour or actions – everything is someone else’s fault.

She has a very needy and jealous nature and as a result hates her brother and is horrible to him because he is better than her at pretty much everything and much more likable.

She has disgusting table manners (unless we have guests and then she behaves like an angel).

She has trouble amusing herself and being on her own and so will annoy the hell out of everyone when she’s bored – and she doesn’t care that she invades people’s personal space and alone time at all – all she cares about is making sure her needs (ie not wanting to be alone) are met.

She is very rough and often hurts people when doing what should be gentle things like cuddling them.

She enjoys people’s discomfort and pain and seems to go out of her way at times to irritate people for her own amusement.

She does really annoying and weird things like closing windows when it’s hot or obsessively washing her feet in the shower and then walking wet footprints all of the house as well as leaving soap on the shower floor so the next person slips on it when they get in the shower.

In short - she is a clone (in personality anyway) of BM!

FSD7 is the most socially awkward child I've ever met. She can't play with other kids because if they don't want to do exactly what she wants to do, she pouts. Then the adults step in because the other kids won't play with her. 

She is nosey and FDH thinks her invasion of my privacy is perfectly ok. His solution? We just won't talk when FSD7 is at his house. God forbid he actually tries to teach her how to be a normal, respectful human being. 

She tries to talk to me like her peer, presumably because that's how she talks with her mom. And she bosses adults around all the time. Not cool.

She looks just like her mother, who is a putrid human being. A drug addict who bounces from man to man as long as they'll support her and let her move in. Can't wait for the issues this is going to cause in this little girls future. I'm willing to bet she'll be pregnant by 15.

She can do just about anything for herself, unless I'm around then Daddyyyyy has to do it for her the second I walk in the door, or the second he sits down with me. And she doesn't even say please or thank you,

The fact that EVERYONE in her life has been around since she was born, and they all think the sun shines out of her butt. I'm the first one to come along and tell them she sucks, and they don't like it much. Truth hurts. 

Oh god where do I begin...Lying,STEALING, neediness, whiny, disrespectful, swearing, hiting, crocodile tears when he gets caught, sneaky the list goes on. The fact he's going into middle school but has the social manners of a 4 year old. Will sit on the couch and OPENLY PICK HIS NOSE AND EAT IT. Have to fight with him to brush his teeth and pisses all over the toilet.  I have to give the kid credit for his age his quite the manipulator. He's got daddy wrapped around his finger.

YSS creating a booger mural on the wall behind his bed was quite memorable. That thing had to have taken YEARS to construct.