You are here

OT I love DH but the man is Wreck It Ralph

Cooooookies's picture

Submitted by Cooooookies on Wed, 04/18/2018 - 5:29am

He wrecks everything.  EVERYTHING.  Himself, things, the house.  There is no safe place.

He mowed the back garden/yard this morning.  Most lawnmowers here are electric so he had to plug it in the dining room, which overlooks the back garden.  He asked me to unplug it because he didn't want to track grass in the house!  !!!!! OMG !!!!  He usually isn't that careful or mindful when it comes to messes!!

I'm thinking RESULT he's finally taking me pleadings to heart.  Then he does it again when he wants to power wash the funny bit of astroturf just outside the door to the back garden.  BESTILL MY HEART HE'S A CHANGED MAN!!!  Here I am thinking how much I should reward him *wink wink*

Yeahhhhhhh no.  When it came time to take the 3 massive bags of grass clippings to the tip (recycle place)....it all fell to shyte.  Do you think he opened the side gate on the side of the house so he could take the bags to the car?!?!  So that he didn't walk on the wood floors with his wet, grass clipping filled shoes?!?! NooooOOOOOOoooOOOO.  That was too much work!!!  He would have had to move the bins out of his way.  FAR too much effort.

So he takes the bags through the house.  Out the front door and into the boot/trunk of his car.  Wet shoes, filled with grass clippings, all through the dining room, hallway and out the damn front door.  The floor I just swept this morning.  He even managed to swipe part of one or all the bags along the wall!!!  So I had to wipe grass and water off of my walls.

There is a side gate where he could've done allllll of this OUTSIDE with no problem.  Noooooooo we couldn't move a garbage bin and recycle bin though.  Too much effort.

Y'all I'm not even religious but I need a few moments to get right with the lort so I don't murder this man.  This sweet, loving, wonderful man the wrecks EVERYTHING.

I MEAN!!!

Wacko

Comments

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Wed, 04/18/2018 - 7:21am

I feel ya, sister! My DH cannot walk with a bowl of cereal or a drink without sloshing all over the floor. It's amazing he has anything left by the time he gets to where he's going with it. What's really amazing, is that he doesn't even realize he's done it. I mean, he leaves a trail but is completely oblivious.

He also cannot do anything without somehow bumping his head in the process. I'm really starting to worry that he's going to get CTE.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Wed, 04/18/2018 - 8:00am

Daaaaaang, Cooooookies, I would have made him clean that up. Well, except for the wall because that would have tipped me over the edge. Maybe next time you can lock him out of the house until he's done....LOL

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Wed, 04/18/2018 - 10:18am

Men forget to think... My DH has been known to do stupid things like that as well... And then wonders why I'm frustrated...

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Wed, 04/18/2018 - 12:01pm

You have described DH.

Most recent wreck (not inluding the 10 millionth pair of reading glasses and 100th pair of headphones and 1 millionth phone charging cord etc., etc.) is I had some tile stacked near a new (bought used but in perfect condition) little storage cabinet in the back of my car.  I asked DH for help getting the stuff out ("Right now?"  "Yes, DH, right now please." ... he wasn't busy trust me).  He comes out and I wasn't immediately there as I was moving stuff in the garage to clear a path (don't get me started on his "stuff" either) to my area.  So he decides to first unload the cabinet by himself.  And it wasn't easy so he started dragging it out without me, I come out and it's awkwardly hanging out, I run over and help him, set it down and there's a big chip in the front corner because he hadn't bothered to first move some of the tiles out of the way.  Why not?  "Because I didn't want to move them, they were in the way." 

Dash 1

 

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Wed, 04/18/2018 - 12:19pm

is like a bull in a china shop.  I'm not sure why I have Crystal wine goblets for him to use probably because he won't drink wine from a plastic cup with a cover.  I buy cheap crystal thank God from the thrift stores.

He also eats like a wood chipper; crumbs go flying everywhere. He is very big, barrel-chested and burley.  Quite literally lumbers along.

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Thu, 04/19/2018 - 11:18am

I banned DH from washing the crystal.  He's allowed to drink from it, but don't touch it after that.  I recently caught him putting (i.e. jamming) a crystal glass into the dishwasher (they don't fit well b/c they are taller, thus his issue), yelled 'STOP!' before he broke another one...yes, they are from a garage sale but they are beautiful!