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Senior graduation

carolbrady71's picture

Submitted by carolbrady71 on Wed, 03/21/2018 - 12:45am

So here we are, on the eve of SS’s senior graduation. He has been a delightful child, shortly becoming a man. Decided to throw him a bash in honor of his accomplishment, jointly with his best friend.

His best friend’s mom has no real relationship with his dad, My DH and I have no relationship with SS’s mom. Both boys feel the other parents should be invited. The other parents contribute nothing but drama, the real mom and (my) real dad agree they would only detract from the celebration.

What would (did) you do in this situation?

Comments

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Wed, 03/21/2018 - 6:12am

We are in a situation like that too. BM1 has never had custody or even unsupervised visitation since SS17 was 1. She is an addict, can be violent, ALWAYS has drama. What we decided is that we are going to bring SS to a local pizza shop for lunch before graduation, let BM and BM's family have lunch- we will be there in the resturant (near by but give them space) and then leave. We will allow them "cap and gown" pictures after the ceremony but then it is bye-bye.

If the "other parents" want to have a party or time with them, let them. It doesn't have to be at the same party. Do y'all do Chirstmas or Thanksgiving together? I assume not, and this should be treated the same way. The only times that you guys may have to suck it up and be at a party together will be weddings, baby showers (grandkids), and grandkids birthday parties. This isn't one of those times! 

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Wed, 03/21/2018 - 7:33am

I think it's ok either way really depending upon the parties involved.  If mom and dad can agree and be civil having everyone there is nice.  If that isn't likely to happen and if it will cause the graduate to have their party ruined.. it's also perfectly fine to do separate parties/celebrations.  Just because you have something for him doesn't mean that his mom can't have some other amount of time with him.  Perhaps she gets to take him to lunch before graduation... or after (depending upon the timing).. maybe she can have another day to take pics with him in his gown or have another celebration with her family and friends.  If the celebration with the two families is large enough to allow everyone space.. I might be ok inviting the ex.. but I know that we preferred to do separate things with my SD's..

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Wed, 03/21/2018 - 8:20am

When my DD26 graduated from high school, we didn't have a party.

When the Things graduated, I threw a graduation party for them with my BFF and her son, who we lovingly refer to as the Third Twin.   I invited Asshat and Money-Ka, knowing full well they wouldn't attend.

I was right and everyone had a blast at the party.

When my DD26 graduated from college, we did separate dinners.  Same for when the Things graduated from college.

 

beebeel's picture

Submitted by beebeel on Wed, 03/21/2018 - 8:28am

My mom threw me a HS grad party and my dad threw me a college grad party. Worked out great and neither parent attended the other parent's party. But I never asked if my other parent could attend. By 18 years old I had figured out that my parents didn't get along. (I actually had that one figured out by age 8.)