He's mad at himself for not texting or calling SD yesterday to wish her a Happy Thanksgiving. He said he forgot and it is very obvious that he's upset over all of this. Best I could do was tell him that, at almost 13 years of age, SD is more than capable of taking five seconds out of her day to text SO to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving, too. Especially since she spent half of her time here over the summer texting with GUBM's boyfriend. He's deserved of contact at times when it doesn't directly benefit her. So, if he's "wrong" for forgetting then so is she. That's all there is to it.

Then he got all upset over the fact that I brought up Xmas gifts, and was trying to nail down a cap per person we're buying gifts for. I suggested a cap, he said "OK" but said it all weird. I asked him what the problem was because I can't tell if he's saying "OK" to my idea because he thinks it is a good idea, or, if he's just afraid to disagree about it. He said he feels bad because he doesn't know his kid anymore and, thus, doesn't know what to get her for her bday or xmas, so, everytime we talk about presents, it just reminds him of that. Nevermind the fact that he could easily contact her to ask, but, he's getting annoyed with the fact that all communication with her centers around her wanting something, so, he's hesitant to call or text to find out what she wants for her bday/xmas lest it just reinforces that dynamic.

Luckily, he was texting his sister to find out what her daughter, his youngest niece, wants for Xmas, and she had NO idea, and she lives with her daughter. So, at least that was able to assuage any guilt he had over not knowing what to get SD for Xmas.

I wish he would just realize that this is one of the main reasons why he needs his own counselor, so he can have someone to talk to about this stuff because he has NOBODY to talk to about it besides me, and, I'm biased because I'm his partner, but, I'm still going to call it like I see it. I'm not going to coddle him and say it's totally acceptable that he forgot about his daughter yesterday, but, I'm also not going to avoid telling him that she could have reached out, too. She has a cell phone, she has fingers, she knows how to text (she might not know how to spell...pathetic school system...but she knows how to text).

I'm sure it doesn't help that we've been fighting a lot lately, mostly because of his tendency to yell, snap, and cuss when he's upset or feels wronged (which, largely, is leftover from his relationship with GUBM and the frustration of not dealing with his issues surrounding GUBM and SD seeping out into OUR relationship).

Just wish there was something I could do for him, but, I know there's nothing I can do. And that's what frustrates me.