I am having a difficult time thinking about my step-grandchildren's birthdays. The oldest one (She is going to be 4 and when she was born I was there for my stepdaughter because her mother was too high to care.)spent the night with us last weekend and started talking about her birthday.

She was telling me what kind of cake she wanted me to make for her. She was telling me who she wanted to invite. She was asking me to buy her presents. She definitely knows what she wants! I had planned and paid for her first birthday. My stepdaughter was broke at the time and I was so close to my step-granddaughter that I wanted her to have a wonderful party. I admit I went overboard for a 1 year old. She doesn't remember it, except for seeing the pictures of it. Her second birthday was small and my stepdaughter had it at her trailer. Both of those birthdays were fun because I was still "Memaw" and the witch was still busy getting high so she didn't show up for either party.

When my step-granddaughter turned 3 last year it was just after the witch had decided she wanted to be in her daughter's life again and my stepdaughter allowed that woman to get my step-granddaughter to call her "Memaw". I was in no frame of mind to be anywhere that the witch might be so when my stepdaughter called to tell us she was having my step-granddaughter's birthday party in the basement of the witch's house my husband told her that we would not be attending. I was very glad that he stood up for me even though part of it was that he did not want to be around that woman at all either. He explained to his daughter exactly why we would not be there and instead of trying to change the location of the party she just said O.K. If she had tried to have it somewhere else, like at her trailer, we might have tried to attend even knowing that the witch would be there.

I still hate that I missed my step-daughter's birthday last year but that doesn't mean that I am prepared to be around that witch so I really doubt that I will be at her birthday party this year.

I just don't know what to do. I allowed myself to get so close to her from the minute she was born. I can't change that. I have held back from my step-grandson and the newest step-granddaughter to protect myself from being hurt any worse. But, should I just suck it up and go to her birthday even if the witch will be there? I have thought about maybe doing a special day with my step-granddaughter that would only include me, my husband and our other kids. I'm sure my step-granddaughter wouldn't mind having two birthday parties, though I would not call mine a birthday party, just a celebration.

The problem with all of this is that, if I do that this year what do I do next year? And, as she gets older what will I do? I hate this whole situation.

If my step-daughter had never allowed that witch to take my name when she had nothing to do with her own granddaughter until she was almost 3 years old!!! She wasn't at the hospital when my stepdaughter spent a week in there before the baby came! They kept her because her blood pressure was running high and they tried inducing labor 3 times before it finally worked on the 5th day. Never once did that witch show up!! She didn't bother to even see the baby until she was about 2 weeks old and then it was just because my step :? :? :? daughter had taken the baby to see her own grandmother and the witch happened to be there.

I hate this whole situation. I wish I had never gotten involved in my step-granddaughter's life. But I did and I love her more than I can express in words. That little girl means so much to me and the last thing I want to do is to hurt her.

Believe me, if you are in my position. If you have a stepdaughter that is pregnant. Just stay away! It's hard being a stepparent but I have found out that it is just as hard to be a step-grandparent.