My step-daughter and I have always had an up and down relationship. We have had great times and really rough times. More often than not the rough times were due to the influence of the BM. This BM had been a pill head for almost as long as I have been in the picture which is 22 years. That is where I attribute most of my animosity towards her. She always picked her pills over her daughter. Her daughter would run to me for love and affection. The BM would start bribing with gifts and promises to the SD and she would then run back to BM.

When my SD called to tell us the was pregnant, even though she wasn't married to the Dad, we were excited. The Dad was a great guy and she had changed for the good while in this relationship. So, we got excited about the baby. No one around my SD was planning a baby shower and her due date was getting close so I finally volunteered to have one for her. I put a lot of work into the whole thing. I made special invitations, got tons of decorations, tons of gifts, made all of the refreshments myself and made the favors for the guests. I invited every single person on my SD's side of the family, even though they never spoke to me or ever tried to get to know me. We had a great turn out. The BM showed up late and high on pills with no gift at all. My SD acted like it was the greatest thing in the world that she even showed up. I got a thank you. I took pictures of everyone at the shower and made special effort to get pics. with the SD and her grandparents and even her mother. I was not in one single picture. I was so blinded with excitement over the baby coming that none of this registered with me that I might have problems in the future.

Our SD went into labor 2 weeks early but and was admitted to the hospital on a Monday. I rushed down there but the labor stopped. They kept her in the hospital because her blood pressure was high. The BM never showed up. The next day I stayed home but stayed in touch on the phone. On Wed. I went to the hospital again because they were going to induce labor. She still didn't have the baby and the BM still never showed. Finally on Friday they tried inducing again, this time my DH was with me and we waited all day to finally have our granddaughter enter the world. Still no BM. I was in love right away. My SD called on me constantly the first few weeks because she trusted me and I was available and NOT on drugs. We started babysitting when our GD was 3 weeks old and kept her consistently for the next 2 years. She loved coming to our house and would cry if we visited and didn't bring her home with us. I had made over a room in the house to be her play room. I had purchased everything she needed to be at our home without bringing anything from my SD home. We all (the grandmother's) decided what we would like to be called before the baby was born. I picked last being that I thought the BM and the other biological grandmother should be able to choose first. I came up with something completely different from anything they chose, because I did not want any confusion! My name was to be Memaw. As soon as our GD started talking she was calling me "Memaw" and my husband was "Pawpaw". We loved it and loved hearing her say it.

My SD and her mother killed part of me when they started having my GD call the BM "Memaw". When she was 2 years old the BM finally showed up and decided she wanted to be involved. My SD daughter was so excited to have her mother take an interest that she did not care how any of it affected me. The first time I heard my GD refer to the BM as "Memaw" I questioned my SD and was told that it was too difficult for her to say "grandma"(the name the BM chose) and that I shouldn't make a big deal about it. Why wasn't it alright for her to call both of us the same thing? I honestly cried for two months over this mess. Every time I would see my GD and have to hear her say "Memaw" and know she was not referring to me was a stab to my heart. My SD told me to "get over it" my husband told me to "get over it" and I would just go to my room and cry. I truly felt as thought a part of me had died. The part that was "Memaw" had died and no one around me cared about my feelings at all. I have now tried for a year to get my GD to call me something else. She refuses, saying I will always be Memaw and when I say "but you can't have 2 memaw's" she doesn't understand. I have tried to avoid my SD for the past 8 months because I feel resentment for what she has allowed. I haven't gone to her home because the BM lives in the house right in front of her and I do not want to see her.
Well, I finally went down there in June, just to pick my GD up. Normally when I would go down there (before the BM became "Memaw") I wouldn't even see the woman or if she was around she would go inside and away from where we were. This time, as soon as we were getting in the car to leave, she comes out on the porch and yells to my GD "You're not gonna leave without giving your "Memaw" a hug,are you?" I was spitting mad but couldn't show it because my GD was right there. I told my husband then that I will never, ever go back down there, EVER. That woman did that just to bother me, and it worked. And my SD stood there and didn't say a word and acted like everything was just fine. Maybe it is for her but it will never be with me. I was always there for her, anytime for anything all these years. But now I am done. I won't be there if she needs me. I will always be there for my grandbaby because she loves me and she didn't do any of this. My SD better hope that her BM is ready to step up and really be a mom now because I am done.
I have been trampled on for the last time. She and her mother Killed the "Memaw" in me and there is no coming back from death.