I often read posts about us stepmom’s struggling with wanting to take vacations alone with our DH’s/SO’s and our bios and not with the SKIDS. This has caused both my DH and me tremendous stress during our short 2.5 year marriage. Stress for me because going on vacation with my SD13 who hates me is zero fun and stress for him bc NOT taking her makes him feel terribly guilty. I finally brought this up to our therapist and she was amazing!

Therapist: “Your wife needs time alone with her family. SD is not her family.”

DH: “But then our bio’s get things that SD doesn’t”.

Therapist: “True, bc they have different mothers. Is the BM taking your kids on trips that SD goes on with her.” (over my dead body)

DH: “no, of course not. But it still feels unfair.”

Therapist: “if you wanted fair you should have not married and had kids with another woman until your daughter was 18 and so you could completely cater to her. Life is unfair, the sooner your daughter learns this, the better. Or, (best part) you two should not have had unprotected sex with someone you had no intention of ever being with.”

I could have hugged her right then!