The last email message from crazy BM to DH & me
I am new here but thought I'd start with this gem.
Below is the last email message from crazy BM to DH & me. After this message I blocked her from being able to send me emails, being able to see or contact me on Facebook & have no interest in seeing or speaking to her again. When the SKIDS are both >18 I am going to have my lawyer draw up a cease and desist, no further contact order & this so-called "Biologically linked co-parenting relationship" will screech to a halt. She thinks she is so bloody smart.
Here we go ...
"In light of the new face-book postings from New-Wife with apparent and ongoing hostility towards me (as per former achieved e-mails received), I will follow my counsellors advice and request distance please from said wife . I've upon professional advice already taken them an hour away and therefore, minimized exposure yet once again the ongoing hostility surfaces. In truth this is of no concern to me and this state of mind would be of zero consequence except that it WILL ALWAYS reverberate towards the boys. I have been professionally advised that this hostility in actuality can not be separated as just towards myself as the boys and I represent the "past" unit connected with marriage #1. :sick:
Ex-husband, you and I are in a biologically linked co-parenting relationship and unfortunately you are in a position that may alienate you from parenting which is as you know a 24/7 job .. not just every other weekend, or on Mondays only, or before 9 p.m. despite whatever may be perceived as convenient, comfortable, mandated or dictated. Ex-husband, you are always, all day, an accountable father co-parenting with full time responsibility and availability regarding the safety and well being of your KIDS. I know this is your heart as well as your obligation.
There seems to be an inappropriate focus on me which is often the case in "second-spouse-relationships." (yeah you're an idiot)
Ex-Husband, I will continue to:
-call or text you on YOUR cell phone only, ...giving you the option to pick up or not
-require of you to let me know plans going forward, as I always do you for your parental availability or the boys commitments
-co-parent for medical, ethical and moral direction
-protect the children jointly from harm, danger, misdirection, malicious or subliminal harm either biological, psychological or environmental.
At this point I am requesting that said wife make no more communication with me be it private or public in any form, nor reference me in the presence of KID1 or KID2 in any form be it spoken, inferred or by implication. Otherwise, based on past archived evidence and current conditions I will take appropriate advised legal action."
Thoughts? Comments?
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Comments
What started this whole
What started this whole diatribe was her calling one night about something stupid at almost 11pm. In my life, late night phonecalls mean something terrible has happened. So I LOST it and complained on Facebook (where I had made the mistake of accepting her as a "friend").
p.s. I hate the term marriage #1. How about marriage #fail instead?
What started this whole
What started this whole diatribe was her calling one night about something stupid at almost 11pm. In my life, late night phonecalls mean something terrible has happened. So I LOST it and complained on Facebook (where I had made the mistake of accepting her as a "friend"). :?
p.s. I hate the term marriage #1. How about marriage #fail instead?
yes what caused her to send
yes what caused her to send this email.
My thoughts and comments on it... GREAT! I have NEVER had any contact with the BM in my situation, and it works out AMAZING. No stress whatsoever. My DH and I have been married for almost 3 years, dated for an additional 2 and I have never ever ever spoken to her. It is strange sometimes i think because my skids live with us FULL TIME and she doesn't even care who her children are around. Alas, no skin off of my teeth, I LOVE that we have no relationship, and I will continue this forever. Let your husband deal with the crazy, and you live a happy stressfree life. This is his burden to bear.
The whole thing started WAY
The whole thing started WAY back, but what prompted this email was her calling one night about something stupid at almost 11pm. In my life, late night phonecalls mean something terrible has happened. So I LOST it and complained on Facebook (where I had made the mistake of accepting her as a "friend"). Duh.
We are "friends" no more.
Commically, I missed that
Commically, I missed that post lol so therefore I would say that she was stalking your facebook quite intently to catch that. Laughably I know that BM is stalking both mine and SO's FB so we leave them wide open just to piss her off }:)
My DH told her no more
My DH told her no more phonecalls, texts only, especially if you can't act civil.
We have been married 11 years in the beginning we had trouble with the BM overstepping boundaries, telling my husband what to do & treating him like sh*t. I was not going to stand by and watch that happen. As far as I'm concerned she's the EX wife, she wanted to divorce, so she is not entitled to boss MY husband around or treat him poorly. I spoke up and my DH had a lightbulb moment realizing it's true, I don't have to deal with her b.s. anymore and proceeded to stand up for himself.
I don't think she likes that my DH now has a backbone but I LOVE it.
Background" In the beginning
Background"
In the beginning BM and I got along fine. Problem started when DH and I went on vacation and asked the BM and SKIDS if they would come over & feed our cats. After vacation we got hell from BM because we didn't have OUR house decorated with photos of THEIR kids.
I responded poorly/defensively via email. She turned it into being worried about the kids safetly when they are at our house. How it went from decor to kids safety in her strange little mind is beyond me.
Let's just say I lost it and responded with a very nasty (and in hindsight immature) email. I had done nothing but bend over backwards for HER kids and to even stay in this marriage and she DARE point a finger at me? I wouldn't hurt a fly. She hasn't taken her head out of her a$$ long enough to get to know me, so where does she get off suggesting her kids would be anything but fine here?????
That's the background. Why she feels so persecuted is beyond me. BTW she claims she was advised to move the kids away from me when in reality the first thing she does in times of conflict is run away. She didn't even get my DH's permission to move the kids > an hour away.
1. Why in the world would you
1. Why in the world would you or your DH even WANT BM in your home....especially while you were not even there????
2. Why do you feel it necessary or even appropriate for her to "get to know you"?
3. Why does your DH give in to her ridiculous demands and rules?
1. Temporary insanity? The
1. Temporary insanity? The hope that we could all get along?
2. I don't anymore. I was livid that she would suggest her kids aren't safe here. Couldn't be further from the truth.
3. He doesn't anymore. I put my foot down. I am the wife, she can take a flying f**k.
Thanks. I have done exactly
Thanks. I have done exactly that. To me, she no longer exists. If she comes to my house she is not welcome in, I do not go out to say hi or acknowledge her at all. She can stand down by the curb where the rest of the garbage goes to wait for her sons.