I am not a "happy Camper" (OT)
I got a call from my DD's Camp Counsor telling me to come get DD now, because she was being a problem and needed to be removed
I high-tailed out of work and drove like a maniac to the Camp
When I get there I expect that DD will be in the office by herself or something, but she’s not… she’s sitting in the teen room hanging with her friends
One of DD's friends says "your mom is here”
At which time "J" the 20 year old camp counselor jumps up and meets me outside the room
Tells me that she didn’t write DD up and she thinks that their’ Problem” is resolved, but that DD was very disrespectful to her
OK, I wil have a VERY serious discussion about this with DD
DD and I leave and we get in the car and she says to me
“Mom, before you say anything can I tell you what happened… word for word?”
Of course
They got out of the pool at around 3:00 and the groups usually combine to go play dodgeball or war or whatever game in the gym… DD said to " J" (counselor)
where’s the 5th and 6th grade group?” to which "J" repled “why do you care, they don’t like you anwyway”
(she was annoyed with DD because DD said something publicly about J's constant facebook and texting)
An hour later, they were in the “teen room” and DD still had her tankini top on, because her T-shirt was ripped ("flag football my big toe!)
She was asking her friend for a sweatshirt, J said to my DD
Yeah, you really SHOULD cover yourself up…
To which DD replied
“why do you care, J… I don’t like you anyway”
And all heck broke loose
J went off on DD about her “attitude” and “disrespectful behavior”
DD said to me that she knew as soon as she said that, she was wrong, so she tried to apologize, but this J kept yelling at her and then J said to her “I know girls like you, with YOUR attitude… If I were 13 right now, I would beat you up”
She then called me without consulting with any other counselor, or the camp director. Came back into the room and said "I Just called your mother to come get you out of here, now sit and stew on that till she gets here"
Was DD wrong in talking back? Yes, she admits it and she said to me
I knew as soon as I said it, it was wrong of me to say.. I tried to apologize, I know you can't take stuff like that back once you say it but I was still angry from the first comment and she made me feel like I was "trashy" becuase I still had my tankini top on, so I was embarrassed and mad at the same time,
I know it's not an excuse to say something like that, but I'm telling you why I said it.
I am not happy with my kid talking back like that, but I feel like it was a reaction to being bullied by a 20 year old girl who didn't like it when my DD called her on being on facebook instead of doing her job
I have withdrawn privileges from my daughter for talking back, and she’s in for the rest of the week into Friday night (not allowed to go to the Fair)
BUT I also plan on talking to the Camp director when I get back there this afternoon to pick my kid up. I can’t help but feel like this girl is one of those ‘mean girl’ bullies that shouldn’t be around kids in general, let alone around teenagers
- cpreston's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
the 20 year old counselor is
the 20 year old counselor is clearly immature, she's on her phone all day according to DD, the other two counselors are the ones that actually participate in the activities, she sits off to the side, facebooking and texting... that in itself shows me a lack of maturity, but to say "they don't like you" and "I would beat you up"
c'mon!
I really don't think I would
I really don't think I would have punished DD. Even though she is the child, she is still human and in the face of being insulted and bullied like that by a 20 yr old child, could you or I have bit our tongues and taken the constant insults? Told the other camps don't like you, insinuated that you're trashy. All DD said was "I don't like you anyway". She could have called the bitch a bitch, but didn't.
I would be talking to the camp director in exactly that line of thinking too. That wasn't back talk per se, it was nigh getting to self-defense. The 20 yr old said she wanted to "beat you up if I were 13". I would demand DD be in camp and 20yr old be removed for harassing, belittling, bullying, and threatening DD and being unprofessional and vindictive after being called out by a kid for not doing her JOB.
That's my opinion! Lift the grounding, don't consider that as "back-talking".
I've been considering it...I
I've been considering it...I don't know my kid just NEVER holds her tongue so it puts me in a tough position...I want her to know I have her back, which is why I'm raising holy hell at the Camp
Instead of saying waht she said, she should have gone to one of the other counselors or the director and said "she's making me feel uncomfortable because..."
I know she's 13 and you don't really have that thought process at 13 but I want her to LEARN that thought process so that these situations don't escalate
Yep - DD knows she was wrong
Yep - DD knows she was wrong so she will likely accept punishment for the talking back and taking the lower road - but I agree, i'd have likely done the same thing as her.
My BD10 got into trouble at school 2 years back. My BD10 is a straight A student with a handful of close friends and teacher love her to death. She punched another girl out. Yep - my sweet very intellegent 10 year old cold cocked the bitch.
Well - background, this former friend stole from her. We had this girl over at our house, she stole my BD10's wallet. She keeps her wallet in her room, we call it her bank. So she keeps money in there from allowance and when we go shopping she will borrow $20 from it. She had $80.
The wallet was hommade from ducttape - so she brought it out to show friend the wallet and they were using it as a sample to make more wallets.
The next week, BD10 couldn't find her wallet - we searched high and low. I even punished her for losing it since its not allowed to leave the house and she knew that and I was acusing her of taking it to school.
Then, friend was showing off all the new duct tape and craft supplies she'd bought. My BD10 asked her where she got the money for all of that and friend started acting funny. BD10 was telling me and it all clicked. So she decided to confront her. Friend denied it and got all pissy. Then I told BD10 to tell friend that I was going to contact her parents just to be sure the wallet wasn't lying around and then drop it. Magically the next day friend brought the wallet in - saying she must have taken it by accident but that it was empty and was always empty. BD10 was pissed.
We talked, I told her friend was no longer allowed in my home. We talked about the mistake made by showing friend the wallet. BD10 was really hurt. I replaced the $80 because it really wasn't her fault and she had lost a friend over this.
Fast forward 2 weeks - friend is making life miserable for BD10 - picking on her, calling her names bunch of shit since BD10 won't have anything to do with her anymore at school. Friend said something mean to BD10 and BD10 had enough, called her a theif and punched her right in the face. Knocked her down - flat on her ass.
Got taken to the office, I was called. BD10 and I talked it through. XH and I talked it through. BD10 got 1 day inschool suspension - she marched in and did her time. We gave some mild punishement at home - no electronics for a week both houses - she did her time. I told her it was wrong but I'd have knocked that kid into next week myself. We agreed she needed to show more constraint. Secretly - I am pleased she stood up for herself. BD10 tends to be a quite non confrontation person - I am always worried she will be a doormat. Well the doormat has quite a left hook apparently.
Such is life.
My inlaws have stolen from
My inlaws have stolen from me-I really wish I would have punched them in the face.
Are you sure J said all the
Are you sure J said all the things your daughter is saying she said?
I’m sure… I hate to sound
I’m sure… I hate to sound like one of “those” parents, but my kid knows the punishment for lying is WAAAYY worse than for telling the truth
She rats herself out even with things that I would probably never find out about, so if she tells me that this is what happened “word for word” I take that at face value
She had other “campers” sitting right there when the whole thing went down and she also told me that another one of the counselors pulled J outside and said to her “you NEVER talk to campers like that”
I told her today (when I couldn’t get a hold of the Camp Director this morning) that if there were any problems today, she was to go directly to the other counselor, ask to see the director and ask the director to call me
I'm not "Chewing out" my
I'm not "Chewing out" my kid
I explained to her what would have been the better way to handle the situation, rather than to "retalliate" by talking back to an "adult"
Granted the "Adult" here is not acting like an adult
when that happens, you go to someone who IS acting like an adult and tell them what's going on
keeping her from one night of the Fair isn't harsh punishment, for a kid who has a bad habit of "spouting off"
I agree- I would call the
I agree- I would call the camp director to make sure there is no part of the story that my child was glossing over, but that it really went down the way that it did. If i felt satisfied that she was being truthful, I dont really think I would punish her. Obviously this young "woman" is not fit to be working in the setting-in fact my guess is that she is an entitled sd. I had a similar sort of incident in which my dd's youth group leader basically called her a tramp for wearing a v-neck tshirt with a tank top underneath (similar to what every other girl wears). My dd never really said anything back and I told her to ignore such crap that she obviously had issues and dd stopped going to youth group for awhile. At least until the leader got arrested for assault
There really are some BAD "adults" out there in leadership positions. I just always try to make sure my kids are not sugarcoating their stories and I do try to punish them for any part they may have played in any sort of incident.