FDH is such a drama king
Yesterday was SS12 birthday. We had a party, I ran around getting presents, and one of his friends slept over. No big deal.
However, FDH told me he was going to take back the friend after work around 5pm. I said, um, no... I can take him back earlier in the day. Today is my only day off this week and I wanted some quiet. So, guess what? FDH a makes plans with the kid's dad to stay all day. My opinion/wants/needs ignored.
Of course I was pissed. He called and we started arguing. I told him I had to go and he proceeded to text me for 15 minutes about how it is so sad I'm making the day all about what I want and not about his son's birthday and on and on. One text said, "I cant believe you are making me feel like shit at work by telling me over and over how i messed up your day". I finally sent him a text saying "YOU are the one texting me, drama king" and they finally stopped.
Seriously, how stupid. I just wanted to take the freaking friend home earlier than 5pm!!! Was it really that big a deal?
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and how is it wrong that you
and how is it wrong that you aren't making TODAY about SS's birthdya? His birthday was YESTERDAY
Yeah, yesterday was the party
Yeah, yesterday was the party day, I could see friend spending the entire day but you did all that extra bday stuff yesterday, you should be able to have a relax day today.
Maybe I wouldn't be so pissed
Maybe I wouldn't be so pissed if this was the first time this has happened. But FDH and adult SS20 like to make decisions for me on when I will take care of the kids. The time before this, I had made plans with my BS to do some cool stuff at the University. FDH was out of town, and SS20 brought over SS12 and left him with me... Then went to work. It wasn't even our day to have him. No one asked me, and I had to change my plans and take both boys to movies instead (SS12 hates educational stuff).
It wasn't even our day to
It wasn't even our day to have him. No one asked me, and I had to change my plans and take both boys to movies instead
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And therein lies your problem. YOU changed your plans, so your FDH and ss20 have learnt that although you protest you still fall into line when they ignore your concerns and walk all over you. So therefore there is not motivation to change as they are getting the required results they want from you.
What you should have done, was when ss20 came round with ss12 was to tell ss20 he would have to take ss12 home before his work. If he didnt, then I would drop him off at his BM's/MIL's or even better at FDH/ss place of work (and if they DARED throw a fit about that I would remind them that is exactly what you have to deal with when they decide to use you like a babysitting service). As for the situation with ss's friend staying over, I would have told FDH that I would be dropping them both off at his place of work, then I would ring ss's friends family and tell his parents that something had come up (make any excuse) and drop him off.
I am sure you can think of ways to SHOW these people that you will not allow them to do this, because if you don't nothing will change except your resentment levels!
You are right. I need to
You are right. I need to learn to say no, instead of just being pissed off about it.
I wouldnt be changing my
I wouldnt be changing my plans. I would have left with my son and if anything was said to me i would have said no said anything to me and i had plans so i had to do my plans. A few times of that and that shit will stop. Id also tell dh he is his kid and if he needs someone to baby sit he needs to ask someone to do it. }:)
This is why it is good at
This is why it is good at this point that he is still your FDH...
Don't think that things will change after the wedding...
Here is your chance to consider your options...