DH in BM home
New here.. So I have a problem.... I have a DH and have 2 Bio sons together ages 3-4. And unfortunately I have a SD11.
Soooo... My story is... DH haven't been in SD life for a year and a half. BM has been filling SD head with all sorts of crap and told DH she didn't want to see her dad anymore. I was obviously happy about it. But then recently this year, DH wanted to get back in SD life. Yes I was upset but I can't do anything about it.
I live seperately from DH for the time being because of his job. He rented out an apartment and me and our boys stay at the house me and DH had purchased. We do see eachother often which is good. He'll visit or we will visit him. Sunday's is our family time.
Anyways, DH job and apartment is close to BM house who recently remarried and had 2 more other kids.
So like 2 times out of the week, after work, he goes over to BM to hang out with his daughter for a few hours or less before he goes home to rest. I hate the idea of him being in BM home but that's the only way he can really see his kid and Fridays also when he spends half the day with SD taking her out to wherever...
So even though I hate the idea, there really isn't much that he can do. He doesnt show BM and SD where his apartment is located at. And he only people allowed is me and our 2 boys..
So any suggestions?? Comments??? Something??
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Comments
I agree...there is NO WAY on
I agree...there is NO WAY on God's green earth I would EVER be ok with my BF being in the same house as BM...too see skid or not I DONT FUCKING CARE. I know that my BF loathes BM with a passion and I do trust my BF BUT still it is completely inappropriate for DH & BM to be in the same house together unless either her spouse or DH's wife is there to see the goings on....period!!!
DH and BM doesn't get along
DH and BM doesn't get along either... BM aunt lives with her.. So there r times when DH will visit his kid and BM isn't home, only the aunt or BM and her man will be there when DH visit to see his kid...
And if I was the BM, married
And if I was the BM, married with 2 new kids, I wouldn't want him hanging out at my house either.
He refuses to let them both
He refuses to let them both know where his apartment is. BM has asked DH before if they come to his apartment so she can drop off SD whenever she feels like it and try to use DH as a baby sitter for her other kids as well... Not happening...
Did I read that right??? She
Did I read that right??? She wants to know where his apartment is so she can drop off skid AND use him for a babysitter for her OTHER 2 KIDS FROM ANOTHER MAN???!!! WTF??!!!
Yea so she can go on dates
Yea so she can go on dates with her new man and hang out with her girlfriends...
I don't think so.... I 10000% refuse and DH doesn't want that either...
It is good that your DH is on
It is good that your DH is on the same page as you are on this issue....if it werent that way then I can tell you that the road for you would not be a happy one
DH gets off work at 6pm on
DH gets off work at 6pm on weekdays runs over to BM to see his daughter for a bit.. Then leaves to go home. Fridays are his days with his daughter.. He picks her up from BM house and takes her places...
Basically his schedule with his daughter is:
Monday 6:30pm-8:00pm @bm house
Wednesday 6:30pm-8:00pm @bm house
Friday 12:00pm-8:00pm @elsewhere
if you are uncomfortable with
if you are uncomfortable with it you need to make it clear to him and he needs to act on it. it's going to require him to ball-up to BM. bring his daughter to his apartment and saying NO to the babysitting. i wouldn't be with a man that couldn't stand up to BM.
Once again, appropriate
Once again, appropriate BOUNDARIES are more important than convenience. Even if it's convenient for him to hang out/visit his daughter at BM's place, that doesn't mean he should do it.
Take her back to his place, take her to a park, take her to get dinner... whatever, just don't visit inside BM's place. It's just inappropriate.
This whole thing of divorced people hanging out at each others houses... well I guess if ALL parties involved are fine with it, okay, but most aren't so... "just don't" !
Personally, it depends on the
Personally, it depends on the situation... Not everything go the way you would want it to be..
I would let DH go to BM house to visit his daughter... Even tho I despise the BM and don't care for SD... If you trust your DH then why not? As long as there are rules given to DH... Like not stayin past a certain time in their home.. If either BM husband or aunt is home when he visits his daughter should be ok. I'd rather have him do that than having BM and SD in my DH apartment. And call and text him of course to check up on him.
No way in hell would i want
No way in hell would i want my dh to be at another womans house with out me. This is something i dont get if it were anyone other than bm would you be comfortable with your dh being there if not then why would you ok if your dh is at bms house? Sorry just b/c they have kids with our dhs doesnt mean they get to do things or get passes if you wouldnt be comfortable about with anyone else.
Op you need to sit your dh down andask him if he is comfortable with you going to another mas house with out him and haning out . If not then why would he expext you to do what he wont?