tomorrow another week with SD.........slightly anxious again...guards up!!
whenever I think it gets all better,I learn that my feelings before SD 7 arrives are always and still similar- I feel anxious and slightly stressed, inspite SO being so supportive lately.Are these left over feelings from the times when she was an extreme case of Daddys girl??At least I don't feel so resentful anymore, which is a good step.
At the moment the grandparents are here and treat her and call her "babygirl" which makes my skin crawl because that's how she was treated before SO and I met and she was totally spoiled.They mean well, they are sweet people, but I am worried about set backs with her- she learned a lot once SO started to be stricter with her and is much more pleasant now.
But since they are here , she is a bit into her old self, eg demanding stuff quite straight forward"Nan, I need some school shoes!!!"I think that is bad manners and she just knows how to milk them since there is no correction of this behaviour.They seem to find that funny...if i would be her mum I would be ashamed...at least asking nicely would be more appropriate.
And another thing...SD calls SO so much lately from BMs place and I can hear her daddys little girl voice screaming through the phone and he is all like "wow" and "I love you" and "make sure mummmyy makes 1000 pictures...", blabla.I usually try quickly to leave the room without making it too obvious, but today I couldn't escape and it somehow sucked.
I mean , I am aware it is me and not their fault, but for me these week -on-week off regulation is already pushing me to the emotional limit, so if I hear from her in our break I feel just a bit annoyed I suppose.
Which is hypocratic and doesn't make sense since I love to be contacted from my kids when they are not here....so I guess, I just want to vent about that here, but don't seriously would consider DH to change anything about it.After all she is his daughter and mostly a nice little girl, so I guess it is again the whole unpredictable step family thing which makes us feel the way we do....grrrr, so difficult.
Wish me strenghth for a full new week with SD (and my kids), I guess it will be all fine.
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Things do take time to adjust
Things do take time to adjust to. I know it! 8 years down the line I am still adjusting to some of the crap that SKids can pull. What I did was look to see what could actually harm me in the whole thing and speak up about that. I felt a lot better about the situations when I stepped back a bit. I am a step mom, I can step any way I feel like...back, forward, side to side...
I have a million and one things I like to do just for me and when I feel that emotional tug going on I lose myself in one of my hobbies. I refer them to 'daddy' when they ask for stuff. I disengaged from the bullcrap, just did not let it get to me quite so much. It's almost impossible not to react but it's how you handle the reaction that counts really. I'm one of these folks who does not hide my feelings very well too...grrrrr. DH pretty much knows it and can sense it if I am uneasy and he is supportive mostly but on odd occasions he has a brain fart and I am taken by surprise and it has caused fights before but we are getting better. I hope you feel better, and better, as time goes on. They grow up and leave home you know! LOL The twins here made it to be 18 and we survived.