BM's stellar parenting...
SD19 is at her mom's out of state working for the summer...going well...so far she has out over $1,000 in the bank for her second year of college...
Anyhoo...just as we are arriving to our vacation destination on Tuesday, SD calls...
She says....."UMMMMMMMM...my mom is being paranoid, so she made me an appointment at the OB/GYN for a pap smear and to get birth control pills"..."She says that I am experiencing college she don't want no grandbabies, so just in case, she want me to go"...First off "don't want no?????" Honey, you are from Southern California, your dad and SM are teachers...we DO NOT talk that way..."
Ok...background...we have raised SD full time over the last 5 years and she went to my DH's high school where he teaches. We knew every move this girl made and are 125% sure she has never had sex...nor did she in college...
We are practicing Catholics and this girl prides herself in being pure and her mom's side of the family are full of out of wedlock kids...so SD actually has a good foundation here.
DH and I immediately say N-O. There will be NO appointment. I advise her that our ob/gyn here has already stated she doesn't need a pap yet and there is NO reason to pump hormones into a young 19 yr old girl without real need.
Second reason is that she is on our medical insurance and BM just thought she'd "use our card" to run up this bill. Newsflash BM...our insurance does not work for regular office visits or preventative medicine in your state...so who was gonna pay the bill I do not know...but BM lives off the state...so it would have been landed to the legally now an adult SD19 to pay once denied by insurance.
Anyhoo...appointment immediately got cancelled.
However...I did lecture SD on the fact that she is 19...get some balls and tell your mom you are NOT going to the doctor at her request...THAT IS JUST SICK...
Another point is...this is a straight A college student who we have groomed to be a straight and narrow kiddo...lets not give her license to go have sex..."here are you BC pills...go nuts?????" weird....
BM has 2 kids from her second failed marriage. Her 14 yr old son just FAILED and must repeat the 8th grade...and her 13 yr old daughter keeps stealing money from her...how about you worry about those 2 losers and the lives they have because they have been raised alone by you and leave SD19 just to visit and work, huh?
Nice work BM...bravo.
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Comments
First of all, Congratulations
First of all, Congratulations to the girl! Well done you and DH, it's made easier when you have good, easy going, ambitious kids.
I think being at her mother's will give her a HUGE sense of what NOT to do...LOL. I'd suggest to SD that she'll know when the time is right for her to start thinking about boys and all that involves.
Yes...that is exactly what I
Yes...that is exactly what I told her.
When the time comes...Dad, BM, and SM are not going to be involved in her geting BC for its intended use.
We are no dummies...but really...me unrealistic...no.
I am just not going to support it via my very expensive insurance and know about it.
Old enough to have sex...old enough to take care of it herself...
And certainly...no BM that dumped you and left the state is going to tell you when you are going on it.
Lol I can see your point I
Lol I can see your point I was raised catholic BUT do you seriously that and good grades and being taught morals will prevent her from having premarital sex???? Catholics are strictly against divorce as well!!!! We have all known "goody goodies" that have an oopsy baby and everyone is shockedI am sure she knows the good ole rythym method maybe that will ease bm;) or maybe start bc when she finds a bf.Still won't prevent a crazy night if she happens to find one maybe just buy a plan b pill to have on hand just in case. Congrats to your fam 19 and pure!!!!! Awesome!!!
I am laughing my ass off at
I am laughing my ass off at your comment! Catholic my ass. If she is looking for your support or DH's support to go on BC, then DO IT!!! I don't care how expensive your insurance is, it's not more expensive than a baby that you'll end up raising for your 19 year old college kid. Are you serious? Good grades and morals + frat parties = panties down. The sorority at my college (which was a prestigious one) that was the religious sorority were known as the whores of campus. Point being, it is better for her health and her future if she's on B.C. You are seriously naive if you think she's not going to experiment.
Ummm I am curious at to what
Ummm I am curious at to what OB/GYN said a 19 year old doesn't need a pap smear. I thought that you were supposed to get them yearly once menstruation started.
As for B/C at 19, I did it at 18 because my periods were so heavy and I got migraines. Guess what regulated my periods cut down on the flow and no more migraines and as an added bonus no acne. Yes I am Catholic and I wish my parents hadn't been so stupid as to play the good girl card because years of miserable periods and missing a week of life every month because I was in bed and in pain could have been avoided.
"Ummm I am curious at to what
"Ummm I am curious at to what OB/GYN said a 19 year old doesn't need a pap smear." -- This was my first thought while reading the original post. I can understand having differing beliefs about birth control, but I have been a firm believer of yearly pap smears for all women. (Pro-Planned Parenthood bump here.)
Before hitting the post button, though, I have been searching the internet to see if my thoughts were really off base. From the majority of my searches, it does actually appear that cervical cancer is extremely rare for anyone that has not been previously sexual active. However, I would like to argue that 1) Extremely rare does not equal impossible, and 2) You can't trust a teenager to be honest about their sexual history.
If you were a friend I knew in real life, I would suggest that you have the tests done to be safe, but that you could skip the birth control if it is not necessary for menstruation/personal needs or if it is against your beliefs.
Agreed right up until the
Agreed right up until the "skip the birth control if it not necessary... or if it is agains your beliefs".
Parents beliefs do not necessarily mirror college kids beliefs. I, too, started BC because of heavy and painful periods but sure was happy to be on it when in college (and I had the same boyfriend for 13 years). He turned out to be a loser and I turned out to not be linked to him through a child! Yay for BC and even more Yay for condoms! Prevention is the best shot you/me/we have!
Agreed right up until the
Agreed right up until the "skip the birth control if it not necessary... or if it is agains your beliefs".
Parents beliefs do not necessarily mirror college kids beliefs. I, too, started BC because of heavy and painful periods but sure was happy to be on it when in college (and I had the same boyfriend for 13 years). He turned out to be a loser and I turned out to not be linked to him through a child! Yay for BC and even more Yay for condoms! Prevention is the best shot you/me/we have!
Better safe than sorry. When
Better safe than sorry.
When I was in college, the biggest whores on campus were the girls who grew up in the church. Most of their dad's were pastors. They were very sheltered at home. They spent the first few months of college making up for the "fun" they missed out on when they were in high school.
A few ended up leaving school when they got pregnant.