I feel the same way. SDs don't like me, I don't like them...I try never to say anything to my DH but he gets the message.

Also, my husband is not the planner for our house so that makes things easier. He's talked about getting pictures, but he will never in a million years make an appointment. That is my job. So, when I make apps, the SDs are not available.

The feeling of "family" is a 2-way street, IMHO. I don't feel as though my SK's are family because they pretty much behave in the manner that your SK does. They are my DH's children but nothing more.

My immediate "family" consists of myself, my 2 kids, and my DH. Oh, and my dog.

DH and I have no kids together. I have 3 sons, he has 2, boy & girl.
Most of the kids are older. 26, 23, 19. The youngest being my BS14 and his SD11. This past weekend we were at a party and someone asked how old was our youngest child. He immediately said "oh she's 11." I don't know why, but it bothered me a little. Probably because she doesn't live with us and like yourself in my mind OUR family nucleus is the one that lives under our roof.
I don't hate the Skids and they don't hate me either, but I think it's natural to feel some type of way about the situation. It just doesn't come as naturally as your own children do I guess.

I feel the exact same way. My relationship with SD14 is also the same we have very little interaction with each other, and I'm much more comfortable when she's not around. My family consist of DH and our 2 BC. I realized a long time ago that I can not make her accept or like me, and to be honest with you I don't think she considers me as a part of her family either.

I don't think of skids as part of my family, and I doubt they think of me as part of theirs. If DH died, we wouldn't keep in touch with each other. It's all good.

I think it is different for everybody and depends on the situation.

I used to consider hubby's daughter family until she burned that bridge. Now, I am just indifferent. Don't hate her, don't love her either. Pretty sure if anything happened to hubby, I wouldn't see or talk to her again (not on purpose, it's just what would be).

Now, that is different from my dad's wife. She has come a long way, has apologized for things she has done and said in the past, and for how she treated me and my siblings. We get along great. Also, she is the mother of my two brothers, who I love fiercely! I do consider her family.

It's nice to know I'm not alone. I used to think I was a terrible person. I have been a sm to sd since she was 6. I have tried everything in my power to get along with her. But now that she's 14 she does her own thing. She comes and goes as she pleases.i have two kids of my own. And I pray for the day that she graduates. 4 more years! I can do it! In the mean time we just tolerate each other. We don't talk or do anything. I'm just indifferent about her now. I finally told my hubby that I'm just uncomfortable when she's here. And he has sensed it for years. But I'm so done with her. She has thrown me under the bs too many times.