Disappointed. Very disappointed.

I have been a member of this site for over a year and explored much of this site for weeks before I joined. I joined in an attempt to find a safe place for me to express my frustrations so they would not negatively affect my family, to receive help/advice, and support during the trying times that is being a step. But I am quite disappointed in many of you women that are much older than me. I am disappointed in the lack of support and personal attacks that I and others have endured.

I was under the impression that we were a group of men and women that are here to SUPPORT one another and to perhaps get some other perspectives into our lives.

I posted a bit of a controversial topic yesterday. I know some agreed with me and some did not. I understand disagreeing with. What I may have said and have no problem with that... I do, however, have been highly disappointed with the personal attacks. I feel that we are all old enough and mature enough (I hope anyways) to express our personal views on a topic without attacking the poster personally. If one does not agree with someone else' view on something can we not just leave it at "I do not agree with this stance and this is why" rather than "you are a horrible humann being because I don't agree with wha you are doing!"

I have in more than one situation been "put in my place" ina way that I understood and often agreed with. I have never experienced the total lack of respect and blatant attacks that I experienced yesterday and it has left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth. Now, I'm not going to hold it against anyone. I know it can be hard to word things sometimes when you feel strongly about a topic but ladies (and gentlemen) can we please refrain from attacking one another as we have a hard enough job to do without having one of our support systems completely alienate us.

I needed to get this out as I really do look at this site as a valuable resource and do not want these feelings to affect my use of this site and the experience of those on here. I hope you all can understand where I am coming from and maybe keep it in the backs of your minds. Thank you.

overwhelmed_underappreciated's blog
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My comment post below was for

My comment post below was for you lol... but I hope you understand what I'm trying to do with this form of punishment (avoid getting physical with the kids)

I am very sorry for your

I am very sorry for your kids!!! That is so sad. I agree with the physical punishment thing which is why we have decided to stop the spankings and such at our own home... unfortunately can't change anything at BMs home.

Thank you. I appreciate your

Thank you. I appreciate your support and encouragement. I don't plan to leave as I find this place unbelievably helpful it just bothered me some as I'm sure you understand.

I was very abused as a child.

I was very abused as a child. To the point that my aunt broke the faux marble vanity in my bathroom by banging my jaw against it. I got beat and my room trashed (all my clothes thrown from my dresser and closet) because I rearranged my drawers and my panties were in the second drawer instead of the first!!! Because of this being the exammple I was given I often find myself getting bent much further out of shape about some things than I should and I am terrified I can take a spanking too far. My view of normal punishment as a child was straight out abuse. That is NOT the person I want to be. I found a rather unorthodox way to pounish in which there is no physical contact to protect myself and most of all my skids. I had no problem with those who disagreed... my problem was with the posts like the one you (stepmom1025) mmentioned. The purpose for the punishment is not to cause harm but rather to make them uncomfortable. After all 30 sec or 1 min is not all that long and I had the kids do a dry run to see if they could do it while not in trouble and they had no problem... thought of it as a challenge. Its when they are in trouble that theey cry and carry on. In the three days we have been using this pounishment the kids have gone from getting in trouble several times a day (by ignoring me and their father, blatantly lying when they know we have witnessed the truth, etc) to us just threatening the cans and the behavior changes. I understand the misconception that some have about how hard it may be but I know my kids and their strength and tolerance ans when nothing else worked we had to find an alternative. I would never purposely harm them. I love these kids even if they do drive me batty sometimes!!! And for the record, we plan on using the same form of punishment for our daughter should she need it as she gets older...

I did not read the thread in

I did not read the thread in which you speak of but I completely agree that this site can do without the personal attacks on peoples character, choice of punishments, etc. We are supposed to SUPPORT eachother and build eachother UP! 99% of us have to deal with insane bs pretty much everyday whether it's the skids or bm we all have some form/level of shit we have to deal and struggle with. Constructive criticism is what works...not attacks and belittling eachother.

I am sorry for the way that some have treated you and treat others as well, but unfortunately there will always be some form of "bullying" on any website we go on. Inexcusable and unacceptable of course, but no matter what we say or do will continue to take place .

Hopefully you have better experiences from here on out

Thank you for your input.

there has always been an "in"

there has always been an "in" crowd here.that'll never change.the only thing that changes are the usernames.but it's still a great site regardless:)

Oh I completely agree...

Oh I completely agree... sometimes it feels like high school all over again with the cliques and popular crowd lol... I just hope they read and understand what my point is. Thanks tho

the internet, a perfect

the internet, a perfect breeding ground for wimpy people to feel like they have a backbone and a slice of control. Also the perfect place for whining,bleeding hearts to cry out for their causes.

Lol... the things people say

Lol... the things people say when anonymous when they would never say it IRL. Kinds funny.

with some people,using you as

with some people,using you as the example,you can tell they are the same here as in real life.the shoot from the hip thing is more natural coming from you than some others.With others,you can tell they only have the internet snark but in real life they are doormats.

Maybebecause they are

Maybebecause they are doormats IRL life feel big by being asshats on the internet?? I hope I never become that way. I was raised better and can't stand myself if I am mean for no good reason. I was taught to respect everyone regardless of agreeing with them or not and I try to stay that way... not perfect but I try damn hard.

Oh foxie, I'm the same. I'm

Oh foxie, I'm the same. I'm one of those take it or leave it types... not one to talkk behind your back and be sweet to your face. People tend to either hate me or love me with no in between. And yeah even my RL friends get it but they know once I've said my peace its over with... I'm also not one to hold a grudge. It was just after being called a "child abuser" that I knew I had to express my feelings or I would pop lol. I have no problem confronting someone face to face and I'm sometimes a little too confrontational but I do not like keeping negativity bottled up... get it out and I feel so much better!!!

I bet the in crowd has cool

I bet the in crowd has cool members only jackets and a super rad secret handshake:D

I hate members only jackets

I hate members only jackets and think secret handshakes went out in the 90s lol... ill stick with the "out" crowd, thanks. Besides the out crowd is iusually the truly cool people that aren't afraid to be who they are rather than conform to fit in

I did post a response to this

I did post a response to this in the other blog...

there is an "in crowd"....did

there is an "in crowd"....did I just get sent back to high school?

I always wanted to be in the

I always wanted to be in the "in crowd". If my mom makes everyone jackets, can I be "in" too?

Count me IN! How do I get the

Count me IN! How do I get the elephant to have a mad case of this shits before the poo is collected though? Do I have to pay extra for that, because I WILL!!

That is so extreme. I love

That is so extreme. I love it.

Poopsenders.com they even

Poopsenders.com they even send all packages anonymously.

Thank you but no... I read

Thank you but no... I read your responces and thought you worded it very well and not in an accusatory way. There were 2 posts in particular that did not sit well with me one telling me to call the cops on myself (was very snarky) and the other outright calling me a child abuser. Those bothered me. I appreciated the way you worded your post esp the one on pg 4 I believe... I really am just trying my best and if you read my comment post (first comment I posted on here, not response to others comments) you and others might understand a little better why we chose this particular form of punishment. But thanks for the apology even tho it was unnecessary

I didn't and don't expect an

I didn't and don't expect an apology from anyone. I think that byou were particularly ridiculous in your post but whatever. I don't really give a shit. About your opinion but I did expect more out of you. We don't have to agree on everyhting or even anything but I thought that calling me a child abuser was horse shit. I would never attck you in such a way and thought it was kind of an unwritten rule that personal attacks were frowned upon. Your opinion mean exactly nothing to me so its all gravy. I do appreciate your decision to call yourself out on your unecessary cruelty as I never mentioned your sn...

Overwhelmed, discipline is a

Overwhelmed, discipline is a real hot button on this site, I know I have been slaughtered because of it on one of my first blogs. However when I first read all the comments that were left to me I was hurt, I felt like I was a horrible person and that I was completely wrong and went into defense mode and attacked back. When I went back a few days later and re-read them, I realized that yes most were against the entire situation however the ones that posted negative comments also posted helpful advice. There were only a couple that weren’t helpful at all and simply wanted to attack. Most of us that commented on your blog were against the punishment for the crime, and the age that it was being used on, however we were constructively trying to offer other suggestions. I am sorry that you felt an “in crowd” was attacking you. My best advice is go back a in a day or two and re-read what was left, you might be surprised on your feelings when time has settled a bit.

Lmao.. if you have to ask.

Lmao.. if you have to ask. That's funny

BAHAHAHAHAH!! the nice

BAHAHAHAHAH!! the nice Southern Slap!

then can we order her a cross

then can we order her a cross dresser for a little strip tease?

Inex, I don't think she is

Inex, I don't think she is going to let this one go... just repeat after me *I will not respond to this ridiculousness, I will NOT respond to this ridiculousness, I WILL NOT RESPOND TO THIS RIDICULOUSNESS* lol. Doesn't seem to matter what you say or how you defend yourself your past words will be. Taken out of context and *used against you in the courts of steptalk*

You two are going back and

You two are going back and forth and as he continues to tell you that his mindset has changed and you keep providing examples of his previous mindset. Obviously him defending himself is going no where so I figured I would show him a courtesy I have been shown and tell him to just let it go. Can't win 'em all. No slight on you. I was being a bit of a smart ass but in fun, not to offend lol. (The court of steptalk comment specifically) and the responding to ridiculousness comment goes back to another response to something he posted...

You really expect people to

You really expect people to support things they disagree with?

Maybe not support the

Maybe not support the action/decision but still support the person?? It is possible...

OT but I really enjoy your

OT but I really enjoy your well written posts... you obviously think things through before posting. Sometimes I have to repeat to myself *you will not respond to this ridiculousness, you will NOT respond to this ridiculousness, YOU WILL NOT RESPOND TO THIIS RIDICULOUSNESS* and my fingers fly away anyways lol.