DH absolutely hates SS11’s name and would change it in a heartbeat if he could. SS’s first name is practically a girl’s name and his last name is unpronounceable (it’s BM’s name) and DH had no say whatsoever when he was born. Unfortunately, BM has to sign off on on a name change, so here’s no chance that that would happen. His hope is that eventually his son realizes how problematic his name is and asks to have it changed himself. DH keeps hinting at him that it would be so much easier if he had a normal first and last name rather than something so crazy but SS hasn’t gotten the message yet.

DH said he and BM had discussed before the baby was born giving him a name that would work in both languages/countries and they had a list including normal names like Alexander, Jacob, Michael (my DH’s middle name) and were going to use DH’s last name. But they broke up by the time the baby was born and BM went and gave the baby a bizarre first and middle name and her last name.

SS’s first name is common in BM’s native country, but is very similar to one of the most common girl’s names in the US that is never used for boys. You’d think his middle name was a bad joke.

People are always getting SS’s name wrong and assuming he’s a girl. A few weeks ago I took SS and my DD3 to the dentist (big mistake to have to deal with both of them). When the dental hygienist tried to call his name off the sign-in sheet, she said the common girl’s name and then stumbled over his crazy last name. She looked around the waiting room and assumed it was my daughter. Awkwardly I had to tell her that she meant my SS. She stared at me and I think she assumed he was some sort of transgendered kid. It took me saying and spelling his name three times before she realized the mistake.

It makes him so separate from our family - he’s this kid with a very ethnic sounding name and we all have very normal average American names. People assume he must be adopted from overseas.

Should DH approach him about changing it and tell him how much better off he would be to not have a girly, crazy name? It would save so much of a hassle and he hopes that if his son wants to change his name, BM won’t object. But I wish you could simply just fill out a form and say “this nutjob named her kid something ridiculous and the dad wants to change it” and the court would let him do it. After all, he is the dad. Why should the mom have the only say?

Anyone have experience with going to court to change a name?